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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this a bit *ehem* crappy...?

47 replies

BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 22/12/2018 19:40

So, I have an super amazing snuggle monster of a toddler who also happens to be a bit of poop machine - and a husband who seems to have a fear of nappies...

I am a stay at home mum and as such I do the lions share of the nappy changes, which is fine. It’s not exactly my favourite activity but it kind of comes with the territory of having a toddler.

DH however always seems to make a big song and dance about it. As soon as he smells something is off he yells “mummies job!” and generally I just get on with it. Every now and then I will ask him to change him, like this morning when we were getting ready to go out - when i do this it is not without resistance and he will moan but eventually do it if I’m doing something else.

Then before little one went down to bed he had gone again and I asked him to change him while I got things ready... so he said “no, you do it, I’ve changed him already today” and put the changing mat down facing me and put babe down for me to change him. Then when I spun him back round to him, he said “I’ll remember this next time you want me to build a flat pack!” Hmm

It really wound me up as usually I just get on with it and he may change him say once a week (or less), but I also don’t think the two things are comparable at all!

Would you be at big peeved as well?

OP posts:
UhUhUhDennis · 22/12/2018 19:43

I would tell him to get ta fuck and get on with it. Knob. What a man child.

JamieFraser · 22/12/2018 19:43

Shit yes...dh does all the nappy changes if he's at home. He always has.
Its funny but until I came on here I never realised what a gem of a man he is.

He does housework, does all the laundry, all the diy and garden stuff also. He doesnt expect me to buy presents for his family or to send his Christmas cards either.

Get your dh sorted and tell him my dh says he should man up.

Cheerbear23 · 22/12/2018 19:44

Yes I’d be more than peeved I’d be bloody angry with him. Building a flat pack piece of furniture is in no way comparable to meeting his DS’s essential needs.
Tell him ‘newsflash no one thinks changing nappies is pleasant.’.

fernandoanddenise · 22/12/2018 19:44

I would say, “why don’t you think you should change nappies when you are at home?”
See what he says and whether he is idiot enough to keep up with the flat pack shit. Good luck tho as this doesn’t bode brilliantly....

Ellie56 · 22/12/2018 19:46

He sounds a right twat.Tell him to get a grip and start parenting his child.

GassyAss · 22/12/2018 19:46

Why does he think changing a nappy is beneath him? What else does he think is your job and not his? (Not withstanding flat pack)

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 22/12/2018 19:46

@JamieFraser me too! I have a whole new appreciation for my hands on helpful caring husband after reading what some women live with on here. It makes me sad that women are happy to settle for an utter selfish man child who is more of a hindrance than a help.

Unihorn · 22/12/2018 19:48

I would say "by that standard, we'll start tallying up the nappy changes shall we," and then two days in when it's 10 to 1 I'd fucking hit him over the head with the tally chart. Prick.

IncomingCannonFire · 22/12/2018 19:53

I'm sorry you married a man child. No advice, just condolences.

Sexnotgender · 22/12/2018 19:54

What a dick. I cannot abide tit for tat, is he 5?

Tell him to grow up and parent his child.

KnockMeDown · 22/12/2018 20:05

Get something flat pack, build it yourself, and stick two fingers up at him.

confusedandemployed · 22/12/2018 20:06

Good god some women on here really do have arsehole husbands.

RhiWrites · 22/12/2018 20:07

Mummies job?! Seriously? YANBU.

paintinmyhairAgain · 22/12/2018 20:10

mummies job ? i'd throw the dirty nappy at him for using the word mummy - urgh - and another for suggesting it's a womans job.

Heartofglass21 · 22/12/2018 20:15

Oh FFS what a childish twat of a man. Tell him the 1950's called and he needs to go back.

Bluetrews25 · 22/12/2018 20:16

What's so difficult about building flatpack? Just follow the instructions and check you are using the right screws in the right places by lying them on the pictures first to get the size right.
But he should be doing nappies! Get him to put vicks on his top lip to block the smell. Tell him it will get easier the more he does, and if he does it badly, he clearly needs a lot more practice.

CoraPirbright · 22/12/2018 20:17

Do any of your mates have proper husbands ie ones who step up and parent and dont behave like nobs because of a bad smell? Next time you go out, shame him in front of them about how shit he is. Perhaps the real men (not men-children) will pull Shock faces and tell him he’s behaving like a jerk.

user564534 · 22/12/2018 20:17

Exh used to retch and cough if forced to change a dirty nappy!

AWishForWingsThatWork · 22/12/2018 20:17

You've married an arsehole who thinks he's too good to wipe his own child's bottom ... but you're not.

Don't have another one with him until he understands that this is not the case and he is doing his share when he's home.

pallisers · 22/12/2018 20:18

As soon as he smells something is off he yells “mummies job!”

The first time he did this you should have been so angry he would never dare say something so godawfully sexist and thick again.

Don't put up with it. And do your own flatpack stuff - it is easy (which is why your useless dh does it).

pallisers · 22/12/2018 20:18

yes agree with pp - don't have another one with him. And go back to work as soon as you can.

JaniceBattersby · 22/12/2018 20:19

Next time you buy flat pack, make it yourself. It’s a piece of piss and will make him look like a total tool.

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 22/12/2018 20:19

That's really weird and immature. DH does all the nappy changes when he's at home, he always has. He missed out on feeding as I bf all 3 of mine so he's always done weekend nappies, baths etc so that he feels like an equal care giver. It's certainly not a "mummy job".

user1493413286 · 22/12/2018 20:25

Whenever DH would say I’ve already changed her today I’d just point out that I change her 5 days a week. In all fairness to my DH he’s doesn’t make a fuss; we tend to go on whoever notices it first and neither of us would ignore it as it’s not fair to DD

Giraffey1 · 22/12/2018 20:26

Mummy’s job? Is he for real? Does he think real men don’t change nappies?