Just a rant...

[SaltedPeanut]

Have namechanged..

A thing that is getting under my skin lately...
I have a teenage dd. Every single boy she has been interested in lately have been "The perfect gent" on first meeting. Once the first meeting is over she gets pics of his dick with the message... "Here's me. Send me a pic of you".

WTF happened to "normal" teen relationships? Do parents of teen boys no longer speak to them about how girls deserve to be treated?

I may be a bit old fashioned but I'd much prefer the old way of 'courting'. I am frankly gobsmacked how girls are becoming more and more demeaned by boys who can't see a life past their dicks!

Don't get me started on boys who want to be "friends with benefits". DD is not interested in lowering herself to doormat level. She's an older teen. She deserved better. "Friends with benefits" isn't her. Why should she allow her body to be used by "men/boys" who see her as nothing more than a piece of meat only for him to move on to the next girl who considers herself deserving of his momentarily attention.

Thankfully I have an open, honest relationship with my dd. She speaks to me, showing her contempt for such "lads" 🙄

My DD has been brought up to value herself, as, I'm sure, most DD's are. Why have we come to this? I'm thinking it's the freely available porn that teen boys are easily able to access.

My concern is that teen boys now see porn as "The norm". What ever happened to sex being a part of falling in love and a factor of personal intimacy with a person you adore??

I would say the same however I believe the whole dick pic thing is part of courting for consenting adults who are in to that sort of thing. I have never sent or received any naked pics in my life. I just don't understand it at all.

@masterandmargarita
No it’s not

Well unless I was chatting to a guy and said please send me a photo of your cock. Then it would be ok.
But you think unsolicited photos of dicks is just part of normal courting
Fucking hell

It used to be common in the old days of chatrooms, when people were anonymous but now that people actually know the person it is really, really grim. The law needs to be implemented every single time.

It possibly serves as a quick and dirty way of finding who is likely to be easy to manipulate.

Call it out and stamp it out

Well done those girls! I wish I’d had my head screwed on so well at their age!

Not wanting to receive unsolicited pictures of someone's penis, does not make a woman a 'delicate princess'! I'm in my forties, far from delicate and would find this repellent.

Screaming late 30s here, again far from delicate and I’d be furious if I was sent one, and more than a little disgusted.

It’s pretty sad to think that there were lots of men who wanted to flash but didn’t get the opportunity. But now they can. It’s unbelievably depressing

I agree, but I am encouraged to learn that those girls felt empowered enough to call them out and take the matter to a higher authority and that they are taken seriously

these are strong minded, confident girls who refuse to be intimidated

no delicate princesses here

Do flashers/dick pic types actually think it’s attractive? Or is it some kind of perverted fetish to intimidate women/girls?

I think they just get a sexual buzz out of knowing that a woman has looked at their todger?
I dont think it matters so much whether the reaction is positive or negative as long as they get a reaction

I suppose it makes them feel that the todger is strong and important because people take notice and respond to it?

*No it’s not

Well unless I was chatting to a guy and said please send me a photo of your cock. Then it would be ok.
But you think unsolicited photos of dicks is just part of normal courting
Fucking hell*

Just ignoring the "consenting" part of their post yeah?

typically you get that kind of attention if it seems like you're looking for it

The first time I was flashed at, I was about nine years old. Was I ‘looking for it’? Get to fuck with your nasty victim blaming attitude.

"But you think unsolicited photos of dicks is just part of normal courting
Fucking hell"

Some people have very low standards
I guess it is an easy way to filter out the neanderthals early on in the dating game. At least the sender is telling the victim who they are.
I wouldn't like to receive such a picture, not even from OH. I just think they are grim. After all a dick is not exactly a thing of beauty.

IME a lot of teen boys have always been a bit one track minded and willing to sleep with young women they don't want a relationship with, they now have different technology and for some bizarre reason think sending pictures of their penis will attract female company!! Most grow out of it, and not all of them are like that in the guest pace. DH and I were friends from childhood and he was a serial monogamist even when we were young.

Word that makes a twisted kind of sense (as in they’re twisted not you!) ugh.

apparently just the fact of being a human female makes you 'seem as if you are looking for it'

Further it seems strange to refer to indecent exposure as 'attention' normally we think of this as a good thing, we pay attention to the people that we like etc
are we supposed to be flattered by this 'attention'?

It's not 'attention' it's indecent exposure, behavior intended to denigrate and intimidate

Christmas I think it seems twisted if you think of sex in terms of mutual pleasure, mutual consent etc

when you realise that for certain types sex is much more gratifying if you are imposing yourself on someone who does not consent, if your enjoyment is increased by the humiliation and degradation of the other person, perhaps then you start to understand how men get pleasure from intimidating and demeaning women.

It makes them feel powerful and thats what they get off on

OP I've seen a lot of males convicted for sending these kinds of unsolicited images, (in my professionals life, I don't seek them out!), so it's excellent your DD and his friends are going to the police, there may be a wait for the appointment but the police do take it seriously as do the courts. It's right the people who do this face consequences.

Word you could be describing my XH, the power and control and fear aspect of it especially.

I’m devastated it seems to have become the norm, and for such young girls and women too. It’s awful

Travis - it's kinda on mumsnet that I've read posters who say they send naked pics. That's where I was getting my knowledge from! Like I say I ain't never, nor will ever do it. Nor does anyone I know but consenting people do it apparently.

Oh no, not another willie!! Lol, just can't for the life of me understand why blokes would think sending pics of it attractive, I've had them sent, and why do they always take pictures in the bathroom x

@masterandmargarita
Sorry I misread your post!

Please don't anyone jump on me. I have a DS who is waaaaayyyyy to young for any of this. I worry so much and am actually grateful I don't have a DD. I would be losing my shit every day over different issues I'm already experiencing as a parent.

What would you consciously do to raise your son to respect women. Not send dick pics or talk about girls in a derogatory way. That kind of thing. What can we do as mothers of boys to change the next generation?

How can we make this appalling behaviour as socially unacceptable as smoking indoors is now? No smoker I know now complains about going out for a cig, let alone be put out if you don't want them smoking in your home. Within one generation we can make a seismic shift. But what actions are catalysts for this?

I'd be interested in answers to that too Mince, I have a little boy. So far the plan is just to talk to them about not believing that anything on the internet is real and use common sense in reality. Further detail would be appreciated.