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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just a rant...

76 replies

SaltedPeanut · 22/12/2018 18:29

Have namechanged..

A thing that is getting under my skin lately...
I have a teenage dd. Every single boy she has been interested in lately have been "The perfect gent" on first meeting. Once the first meeting is over she gets pics of his dick with the message... "Here's me. Send me a pic of you".

WTF happened to "normal" teen relationships? Do parents of teen boys no longer speak to them about how girls deserve to be treated?

I may be a bit old fashioned but I'd much prefer the old way of 'courting'. I am frankly gobsmacked how girls are becoming more and more demeaned by boys who can't see a life past their dicks!

Don't get me started on boys who want to be "friends with benefits". DD is not interested in lowering herself to doormat level. She's an older teen. She deserved better. "Friends with benefits" isn't her. Why should she allow her body to be used by "men/boys" who see her as nothing more than a piece of meat only for him to move on to the next girl who considers herself deserving of his momentarily attention.

Thankfully I have an open, honest relationship with my dd. She speaks to me, showing her contempt for such "lads" 🙄

My DD has been brought up to value herself, as, I'm sure, most DD's are. Why have we come to this? I'm thinking it's the freely available porn that teen boys are easily able to access.

My concern is that teen boys now see porn as "The norm". What ever happened to sex being a part of falling in love and a factor of personal intimacy with a person you adore??

OP posts:
Travisandthemonkey · 24/12/2018 11:04

If she knows the boy on the bus, she should print it out and put it through his letter box addressed to his mum and dad

GemmeFatale · 24/12/2018 11:39

A friend gets loads of these via social media. She pops them on Facebook and tags the ‘gentleman’ concerned (and if she can manage it their wife/girlfriend/best mate/family members).

Another sends back other dick pics.

SaltedPeanut · 24/12/2018 12:22

DD doesn't know where he lives. She gets on the bus 3 stops before him. The girls are chatting now. It sounds like they are all going to go to the police station, together. Let's see what happens.

When she received the first few dick pics I suggested she sends some scathing remark back. DD prefers not to engage. Reason being one of her friends responded to a dick pic sender. He replied with a video of him masturbating.

Something needs to be done. It seems to be becoming the norm.

Poor girls. They must feel so worthless 😢

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 24/12/2018 12:30

It's vile. We should be teaching our young men that unless someone explicitly says 'please send me a picture of your dick' then they do not want to see one.
I don't think there is a woman in the world who has been pleased to receive an unsolicited dick pic ever. It's just a nasty power play.

Maelstrop · 24/12/2018 12:30

I suppose it's a quick way of sorting out who to ignore! A mate of mine was sent an unsolicited dick pic last week by his married male (head of course for the whole area) tutor from his uni course. My mate is 26, the tutor is speeding towards 60. I can't understand why he would send a former student this and risk him possibly mentioning it to someone. It puts the tutor in such a bad light. The guy knows fine well who my mate is. He has his face on his profile.

bsc · 24/12/2018 12:39

Brilliant response from travisandthemonkey - fairly sure his Mum won't be impressed!

Confusedbeetle · 24/12/2018 12:42

Can you imagine meeting someone in the pub and after a bit of chat he says " Have a look at this" and pulls out his dick? No Not acceptable in any way

animallikeyou · 24/12/2018 13:37

Wow. I’m honestly shocked that people do this.

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 24/12/2018 13:41

Not all men and teenage boys are perverts

No, they’re not. Every single one of the ones who sends unsolicited dick pics is though.

I hope your delicate little princess finds a prince to respect her and treat her well.

The absolute irony of complaining about sexism when labelling A TEENAGE GIRL a “delicate little princess” for being disgusted by unsolicited dick pics and having the temerity to state she doesn’t want it!

Dick pics are gross, they’re not pretty and a picture is neither use nor ornament to anyone. They are however grossly offensive and aggressive.

OP fwiw I think your DD sounds ace, she knows her own mind and isn’t prepared to put up with this shit. Good on her! 

knittedmouse · 24/12/2018 13:46

Dicks remind me of plucked turkey necks 😂 why do men think this is an attractive look?

MissSusanScreams · 24/12/2018 13:48

Ah, the old trope of ‘if you don’t want to shag me you must be frigid or scared’. This is just an updated version of those blokes who run their cock up against you on this bus. Except now they can airdrop an actual picture of it to you. Disgusting.

This happened to me once. I met a guy online and had a very nice first date and then he texted me a picture of his erect member when I was at work the next week with an invitation round to his house for a shag.

No. Thanks.

goingonabearhunt1 · 24/12/2018 13:48

How are these pics being sent OP? is it txt or social media? I agree it's gross. I'm very glad not to be a teen now for this and many other reasons.

Wordthe · 24/12/2018 13:48

I also see it as equivalent to flashing, and as said it is flashing facilitated by modern technology
back in the day you had to go to quite a lot of trouble to expose yourself to a woman and so fewer men indulged themselves

Now that the barriers to entry have been reduced to almost nothing any man who gets the urge to expose himself to a woman is instantly able to follow through, and lots of them do it

Wordthe · 24/12/2018 13:51

I think it is just as sinister and aggressive as flashing and maybe a good response would be to reply with a picture of a dirty old man with a beige raincoat just about to open it

Travisandthemonkey · 24/12/2018 14:23

@Maelstrop
She should report it to his college.

The thing is, I know we don’t want to engage, but they just get away with it,
And I do think they chose people they think are vulnerable or won’t report.

You can do a google reverse on most online photos and find out who they really are, then I would send the fuckers photos to everyone they know.

Travisandthemonkey · 24/12/2018 14:24

@Wordthe
It’s pretty sad to think that there were lots of men who wanted to flash but didn’t get the opportunity. But now they can. It’s unbelievably depressing

SaltedPeanut · 24/12/2018 14:30

How are these pics being sent OP? is it txt or social media? I agree it's gross. I'm very glad not to be a teen now for this and many other reasons

Mainly Snapchat - which deletes itself. This latest one sent them via FB messenger. The girls are at the pics station now with their pics

OP posts:
SaltedPeanut · 24/12/2018 14:32
  • police station! My phone is having a funny moment today
OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 24/12/2018 14:43

Do these perverts genuinely think that we get turned on by these pictures? Confused

I have just asked DD (18) whether she has ever been sent a dick pic, and she said no. She is very choosy about who she accepts friend requests from on all social media platforms though.

madcatladyforever · 24/12/2018 14:47

If my son did this I'd disown him and he knows this. He was raised never to demean women in this way.

SaltedPeanut · 24/12/2018 16:35

Update. The girls, who have received dick pics via social media, have returned from the Police Station. They were given an appointment to see someone appropriate to their case on Jan 8th. They are inundated with complaints about dick pics. Says it all really! 😏

Meanwhile, they have found out where the boy on the bus lives. Dad's and big brother's are going round to his house, one at a time tonight to let his parents know what's going on.

Obviously porn spread on social media is not priority! WTAF???

OP posts:
Travisandthemonkey · 24/12/2018 16:37

Glad that something is happening. I guess it’s the sad case of not enough resources.
That in itself is pretty depressing.

I fucking hope this kids parents go ape on him.

LoniceraJaponica · 24/12/2018 16:40

Please update after tonight's visits. I would love to be a fly on the wall there.

sackrifice · 24/12/2018 16:40

I have young sons and it worries me what i need to say to them to make sure they dont end up treating girls like this.

How about 'don't ever send a picture of your penis to a woman or girl, no matter what'?