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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Football over family

46 replies

Storminateacup74 · 22/12/2018 11:39

AIBU to ask my hubby to miss a game of footie over the festive period. there are 3 matches this week and he won't miss any of them. He has a season ticket to a premiership club so it is very expensive and he says he cant justify not going as it is money wasted. Unfortunately we have 3 family get togethers on these 3 days. He hates my family anyway so is glad to miss out but is also missing out on a day with his family. I don't mind going on my own with the kids but I get so many comments on how selfish he is. He will not miss a game. Is this selfish? I am from a family where my dad and brothers don't follow football so they cannot understand how it is so important. Also my dad always put my mum and his kids before anything whereas my hubby puts football first. Any other football widows out there with this same problem!

OP posts:
ReflectentMonatomism · 22/12/2018 11:46

Season tickets are a classic case if the sunk cost fallacy.

And football bores, eh?

minionsrule · 22/12/2018 11:46

I am a footy fan ( not a season card unfortunately) but season cards only cover home games, i don't know any team that gets 3 home games in a row Confused. If he is going to an away game i suggest he misses that
P.s what team?

minionsrule · 22/12/2018 11:47

Oh and also some clubs allow you to advertise your ticket to sell for a match if you can't make it

Handsfull13 · 22/12/2018 11:49

Agree with everyone he is selfish. And the ticket doesn't get renewed next year.

PedroTheCowboyLostHisGlasses · 22/12/2018 11:52

He is being selfish, and sounds like it could just be an excuse to not spend time with your family.

ChuckyMonkey · 22/12/2018 11:53

Are you sure they are all home games.

I can't think of a premier league team with all three games at home over the Christmas period.

Rarfy · 22/12/2018 11:54

Dp is like this. I am stuck in hospital, day 9 of 20 odd and today he has boxing and tomo football. He will still visit but i dont think he realises how shit it is for me stuck here all the time and fortunately i am not actually unwell but its still shit and boring.

I also get all the comments off my family in particular about how its only football and other things are more important etc. I sew both sides tbh but really yes it is only football.

melj1213 · 22/12/2018 11:55

which team does he support that has 3 home games in a row over the festive period?

I'm a huge football fan and used to have a season ticket for Real Madrid when I lived in Madrid but I literally lived a 10 minute walk from the stadium so I could walk there, watch a game, walk home and only be out of the house for just over 2 hours. On occasion I have turned up late/left early when i had other events on at the same time. I wouldn't have missed games for events with people I didn't like but I'd happily miss a game if my DD had an event/activity that clashed.

araiwa · 22/12/2018 12:09

Football or in-laws?

Its not even really a question

Gravel1 · 22/12/2018 12:20

let him go and next time get football schedule before making arrangements.

Lazypuppy · 22/12/2018 12:23

As pp said season ticket only covers home games so ask him to miss the away game. Which club is it?

Lazypuppy · 22/12/2018 12:24

Oh and for football fans, Christmas is a big time of year. My partnrt loves football so i have just learnt to embrace it

TheBigBangRocks · 22/12/2018 12:24

I think if he was always a footie fan then surely it's a known and you can chooses whether to pursue a relationship with them knowing they have a hobby at set times.

The matches will have been known about for months so arranging events at the same time surely you knew he wouldn't go anyway?

I'd rather do a hobby then spend time with people I don't like, wouldn't most people?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/12/2018 12:33

My DH and two sons are season ticket holders. Daughters used to go when they were little but have seen the light.

We plan around the fixture list where possible, in the same way that we plan around my hobbies and events. It doesn't bother me much to be honest, I just do my own thing.

He's telling porkies about three home games over Christmas though.

LannieDuck · 22/12/2018 12:37

Yes, very selfish. Perhaps suggest that he doesn't renew the season ticket next year since he's using it as an excuse to skip family obligations.

Leeds2 · 22/12/2018 12:38

Those of you commenting that he cannot have three games in the next week, I do as I have home and away season tickets. So, one game this weekend, one on Boxing Day and one next Saturday. I am not going to any of them! I agree though that it is highly unlikely any club has three home games in quick succession.

MsSquiz · 22/12/2018 12:43

Maybe you could check the fixtures list when making plans?
My DH has a season ticket so I have all home matches in my calendar so I know in advance whether DH is free to make plans.

Sometimes I will ask if he minds missing a match (and he will for a holiday or trip away) but that's his thing and I knew that before we got married! (We even got married on out of season in a non Euros or World Cup year!)

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/12/2018 12:47

He doesn’t like your family, they don’t like him. Why would he want to spend days socialising with them, regardless of the football? Ordinarily I might agree it was selfish of him, but I’d probably be looking myself to find any excuse to avoid mutually unenjoyable obligatory gatherings with in-laws.

Gravel1 · 22/12/2018 12:50

Comtesse is on the nail

waxy1 · 22/12/2018 12:52

Why should people’s comments matter?

Imalittleelf · 22/12/2018 12:56

My hubby has missed a wider family Christmas get together last year. The first one with our newborn as he got tickets to a match. I didn't mind. It's his passion and what he enjoys.

However if he said he was going to 3 games I would be aggrieved and suggest he picks one unless they fell on a day where we had no booked plans

DontCallMeCharlotte · 22/12/2018 12:58

(We even got married on out of season in a non Euros or World Cup year!)

We got married on an International weekend so neither we nor some of our mates would miss a league game Xmas Blush

blue25 · 22/12/2018 13:00

Agree with others that the fixture dates will have been known for a while, so surely the gatherings could have been on different dates? I love football and if I was lucky enough to have a season ticket, I'd go to the games & do family things on other days.

Angrybird345 · 22/12/2018 13:02

Don’t go to his family gathering as he can’t be bothered, why should you?

Mulberry72 · 22/12/2018 13:02

Football mad family here all season ticket holders.

Agree with PP’s, I don’t know of any PL teams with three home games on the bounce over the Xmas period.

I couldn’t get worked up about this, but I can understand if you’re not into football.