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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My partner of 1 year

39 replies

Allyally78 · 22/12/2018 01:43

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and he has never ever taken me out, it isn’t through lack of money he just hasn’t took me anywhere. He doesn’t do anything in the house because he works so he says but I work too just as hard as he does. He only seems interested in me when he is drunk but also talks about his ex’s a lot even calls me his ex wife’s name I know this isn’t normal nor correct but he suffers from PTSD and was actually wondering if this has anything to do with him being like this with me.

OP posts:
LoudJazzHands · 22/12/2018 01:45

Do you live together? (please say no).

garethsouthgatesmrs · 22/12/2018 01:48

Come on you know you can do better than this.make 2019 the year you put yourself first.

ImNotKitten · 22/12/2018 01:48

What do you actually get out of this relationship?

Allyally78 · 22/12/2018 01:50

Yes we live together

OP posts:
Graphista · 22/12/2018 01:52

Ugh! Why? Why are you living with someone you've only been with a year who treats you like shit?

Give yourself the Christmas gift of happy singledom!

Aquamarine1029 · 22/12/2018 01:52

Raise the bar because currently yours is on the floor.

echt · 22/12/2018 01:54

He's hardly a partner, is he?

PTSD or not, he's a waster. Bin him off.

user1473878824 · 22/12/2018 01:58

Oh god. Leave. Leave now before it’s 10 years down the line and you’re still asking the same question but with added even shitter bits.

Sparklesocks · 22/12/2018 02:01

So he doesn’t take you out, he doesn’t do anything around the house, only shows you interest if he’s drunk and calls you by his ex’s name.

What do you get out of this?

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?

MrsTerryPratcett · 22/12/2018 02:14

PTSD or not it is who he is and you are CHOOSING this. Actively choosing bad sex, all the housework and never being treated.

NYE make a resolution to have a new life. One without a shitty partner.

Twofurrycats · 22/12/2018 02:14

Remove this waste of space and time from your life.

Write · 22/12/2018 02:16

Why are you living with this piece of shit?

KeiTeNgeNge · 22/12/2018 02:51

Leave him

BlueSuffragette · 22/12/2018 07:41

Wtf? Get out now and get on with your life. He has no interest in you. Raise your levels of expectation and self worth. You can do so much better than settle for being treated so poorly.

Sirzy · 22/12/2018 07:43

Why are you living with him?

mrsjackrussell · 22/12/2018 07:59

No not anything to do with ptsd. He just doesn't sound interested and you sound like a live in house keeper.

FittonTower · 22/12/2018 09:11

I have PTSD. Never once have i called my husband another mans name, i manage to do housework and we go out (when we can get a babysitter).
He just sounds like a prick.

TheBigBangRocks · 22/12/2018 09:14

How on earth did you end up living together so soon?

SexNotJenga · 22/12/2018 09:17

I guess that maybe ptsd could make him less keen on going out.
It wouldn't explain the laziness, entitlement, talking about exes and using you for sex though.
At 1 year in the relationship between you should be easy, even if other life circumstances aren't. Cut him loose.

Thentherewascake · 22/12/2018 09:22

You are worth a lot more than this, and you can do a lot better than him. You don't have to settle for that crap.

Work out how to dump him, move out and start a fresh life when you will meet someone who treats you like a Queen.

Thentherewascake · 22/12/2018 09:24

How on earth did you end up living together so soon?
they've been together for A YEAR, they didn't meet last week. It's still not a relationship, but the timescale is fine.

Returnofthesmileybar · 22/12/2018 09:27

There are a few things here:

  1. It's not PTSD he is just a twat
  2. Even if it was PTSD its not why the fuck would you stay with him? You have been together 12 months way too early to have these problems leave!! You can support him as a friend if you wish don't he's a twat
  3. He is using you as the live in help he shags after a few drinks while he pretends you are the ex even it seens

This is the perfect time to leave, new year, new you, new start!

SushiMonster · 22/12/2018 10:03

Lol you’re kidding me? If this is real please wake up and have some self respect and get rid.

He’s not your partner. He’s some aresole who treats you like shit.

CoughLaughFart · 22/12/2018 10:07

It isn’t a relationship. You’re somewhere between a flat mate and a housekeeper who he occasionally bangs when he’s had a skin full. Sweet deal for him; not so much for you. Ditch him.

Nanny0gg · 22/12/2018 10:13

Oh come on!

Is this really the best you can do? How did you end up together and how did you move in together? (Don't tell me, it's your house and he moved in)

How old are you???

And PTSD my arse.