Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU- cousin’s first anniversary dinner 3 hours away tomorrow

50 replies

HulaHoop2012 · 21/12/2018 19:14

Ok so I’m very close to my cousin, she got married last year and had an amazing wedding.

In February she said she was organising an anniversary dinner for the 22nd December (even tho her anniversary is the week before) i said it sounded lovely but couldn’t commit as I was pregnant with our second child. Baby would be 8 months.

The dinner is for immediate family in the hotel they got married in. It’s also very pricey.

It came to room booking and she told me dinner would be at 8. It’s a very formal hotel and not really baby friendly. I declined but said my parents would drive the 3hr journey and take our daughter.

Nothing more said until her husband phoned me saying how much we would be missed. I was taken aback and said we would think about.

The logistics are a nightmare and then the whole family including my cousin and husband would come to stay with us from Christmas Eve. My baby does not sleep and evenings are still very hit and miss. Quite frankly I’m shattered.

Now, my parents live in England, we are in Ireland and they have been caught in the Gatwick disaster and are now only arriving tomorrow after travelling to an airport further away from them.

My cousin is now suggesting they drive from Dublin to Belfast to collect my mum and dad and then they go to the dinner and get the train back to Belfast on Sunday. My parents aren’t spring chickens and get nervous in new places, they are already stressing about getting to a new airport.

Now I can’t understand if we are being unreasonable. I’ve had so many txts and conversations that I can no longer think clearly.

OP posts:
Vika1985 · 21/12/2018 19:16

She sounds like a spoiled brat. Who drives 3 hours to celebrate someone else's anniversary?!

Standstilling · 21/12/2018 19:17

YANBU but people caught up in their own celebrations might think you are. Do what suits you. And causes least stress.

alansleftfoot · 21/12/2018 19:17

Say no, this is ridiculous

Santaisonthesherry · 21/12/2018 19:18

Surely they should be celebrating alone??!
Quite bizarre inviting the family!!
Politely decline!!

Sparklesocks · 21/12/2018 19:19

Unbelievably self absorbed. It’s bizarre people think others give half a shit about their anniversary?? You get a wedding. You don’t get to summon people across the country (or other countries) ever year.
I wouldn’t go.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/12/2018 19:19

Oh, they’re one of those tedious couples who buy into the idea that their wedding is some sort of spectacular treat for all their friends and family and then can’t cope when the attentions stops after the wedding so keep creating reasons to have people celebrate it. Yawn. I know a few like this. They’re being ridiocuous. Who on earth has a family celebration for a wedding anniversary? That’s a couple event. Just the one couple, the couple who got married. No-one else needs to be involved.

BubonicBudgie · 21/12/2018 19:19

I agree with Santa shouldn't it just be the two of them

Crunchymum · 21/12/2018 19:21

Who the fuck expects people to go to this amount of trouble for their first wedding anniversary????

Sorry but you are all at fault for agreeing to this bullshit to begin with.

Are they expecting gifts???? Shock

WilburforceRaven · 21/12/2018 19:22

WTAF? Is this for real? She's getting stroppy over her 1st anniversary dinner that she's expecting you all the pay for as well? She's a self-centred, immature, spoilt wee brat. Why on Earth don't people just stand up to this silly bint and tell her NO. Why are you subjecting your baby daughter to this shit? Buck up and tell her NO and if she strops too bloody bad.

Nquartz · 21/12/2018 19:25

I'm another one who can't believe anyone agreed to this in the first place! Just say no

HulaHoop2012 · 21/12/2018 19:29

Thanks all, I’m so sleep deprived that for one moment I actually thought I was in the wrong.
Happy Crimbo all

OP posts:
Didntwanttochangemyname · 21/12/2018 19:29

I'd have laughed them out the room and said no at the point of invitation, do they really think everyone cares that much about their wedding date? Anniversaries are for the people involved in the couple, no one else!

Awrite · 21/12/2018 19:33

No, no and thrice no.

Stand up for your parents too. This Gatwick malarkey will have stressed and tired them out. Let them rest when they get to your house.

Blimey. People like this should not be indulged.

trojanpony · 21/12/2018 19:59

A thousand times no, also your poor parents being dragged pillar to post!

ourkidmolly · 21/12/2018 20:04

I've never heard of that? Family joining a couple for a 1st anniversary meal. Aunts and uncles no less! Overnight in a posh hotel! Insane! For golden anniversaries yes at a push silver...

Youcancallmeval · 21/12/2018 20:08

Anniversaries are for the couple. If she wants to be attention seeking, let her crack on , but you do not have to enable the ridiculous behaviour.

Smellyrose · 21/12/2018 20:10

Why would you celebrate someone else’s anniversary? Very odd.

AllKinds · 21/12/2018 20:14

What?! For our 1st anniversary we went for a great hike and had a meal in our fave restaurant. By ourselves!

All that effort so close to Xmas is ridiculous.

timeisnotaline · 21/12/2018 20:16

No no no and no. Say I’m sorry it worked out this way but we will definitely do it again for your 50th wedding anniversary.

EyUpOurKid · 21/12/2018 22:02

Not even if you paid me. Yanbu.

SassitudeandSparkle · 21/12/2018 22:07

It would be a no from me, and you are seeing them all anyway in a couple of days when they come to your house?

UserMe18 · 21/12/2018 22:09

Anniversary dinner for family?! That's the most self obsessed dross I've ever heard 🙈

HildaZelda · 21/12/2018 22:11

Absolutely ridiculous. I have never in my life heard of someone having a dinner with others to celebrate their anniversary.
Surely an anniversary is something special between the couple? Why would anyone else even care?

In short OP, YANBU.

adreamofspring · 21/12/2018 22:18

Anniversary dinners are supposed to be romantic! How odd

Just say “ i love you cousin. I’m very happy for you but it isn’t going to work for us. Parents are tired out from the gateick stress and I already explained why I can’t make it. Happy anniversary, enjoy your celebration!”

KC225 · 21/12/2018 22:19

I think my family (and his) would hard pressed to remember the date we got married. I got a card from.my bridesmaid as in a 'remember this time late year' after that nothing. We are on out own as it should be until its a biggie!

Agree, don't sweat it. And especially with.thempsoter who said stand up for your parents. The Gatwick chaos would have been so stressful for them - get in their quickish then go to bed.

Swipe left for the next trending thread