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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be pissed off about this unwanted microwave?

112 replies

Mallorie · 21/12/2018 19:02

We have a 20+ year old microwave - it works fine and I keep it clean but the plastic is a little yellowed and most of the markings around the dial have worn off. It doesn't bother me at all, one because I barely use it, and two, because I think it's idiotic and wasteful to replace a perfectly useful appliance for no other reason than appearance (you should see my beloved 25 year old Mercedes but that's another story).

I have a good friend who comments about the microwave every time she's over, saying 'I know you can afford a new one' (true) and 'That thing can't actually work' (not true). I think it's a boring conversation so I just sort of say mm-hmm and move on to something else.

She's only gone and bought me a brand new spaceship of a micro for xmas, which judging by the photos on the box is basically made of chrome and flashing lights and I am just getting angrier at it by the minute. It's still sitting in the nest of paper where I unwrapped it- she was so excited about it and I made the right noises when I opened it but now I just want it out of the house.

I am thinking about giving it away on freecycle or similar to someone who needs a micro, but what will I say next time she's over? I'm thinking of saying that it blew up and blew a fuse the first time I used it and that our old wiring isn't up to this massive futuristic cooking machine, which is plausible, but who knows what else of mine she'll try to replace next.

OP posts:
userschmoozer · 21/12/2018 20:07

Have you ever had your microwave safety tested?

donquixotedelamancha · 21/12/2018 20:08

I’d also be slightly wary of a 20 year old microwave’s seals and safety level.

This^. A microwave that old is very likely giving out more emissions than would pass testing (that is not just a guess). The risks are not huge, but more than I would take.

the main thing that annoys me is being expected to get rid of something just because it's a little banged up.

This would annoy me too, but not in this case. YAB a bit ungrateful.

bridgetreilly · 21/12/2018 20:10

I'd be annoyed too, OP. It's the implicit assertion that your stuff isn't good enough, somehow. And it's really wasteful just to buy new stuff because the old one is old.

However, I do think that you probably need to bite your tongue on this. She's tried to do a kind thing for you. I'd keep the old one out of the way somewhere and wait for the new one to break, which it inevitably will because new appliances aren't built to last. Then you can get your old one out again.

Leeds2 · 21/12/2018 20:13

This would annoy me beyond belief - I hate it when people know my thoughts on something, but think they know best anyway.
I would probably put the new microwave in the garage until it is needed. Any I would explain why to my friend, if she asked. I would like to return it to her and tell her to get a refund on her unwanted gift, but I know I wouldn't be so bold.

ittakes2 · 21/12/2018 20:15

We had an old one not good for you as seals unlikely to be good enough.

Tyke2 · 21/12/2018 20:24

Our microwave is 24 years old. It cost £260 when we had it bought for us by MIL in our first home. It is tatty, but a replacement would be £70 and not half as good. put the new one in the loft until yours breaks!

MrsExpo · 21/12/2018 20:26

Is the new one a combi type appliance which is a microwave and normal convection oven in one? If so, we have one and it’s brilliant and exceptionally useful. You could get off your high horse and give it a try OP. Your friend is trying to be nice.

Upsy1981 · 21/12/2018 20:26

I understand how you feel. I think its a passive aggressive gift personally. She's obviously got a bee in her bonnet about your old microwave and, because you aren't taking her on, she's had to take this step to force you to do what she wants. I think she is investing far too much time thinking about your appliances!

This sounds like something my MIL would do. She has a bee in her bonnet about the age of my car and the fact I haven't replaced it but I feel the same as you. It will die at some point but, while its still going, I'm going to keep on using it.

I would keep the new microwave boxed up in storage until your old one breaks. You know in typical fashion, your old one will break next week if you give her shiny one away and she will be smugity smug pants! Keep it stored and tell her you are grateful for her gift and you have it stored ready for when its needed.

JennyHolzersGhost · 21/12/2018 20:30

I would also be very irritated. I’m not sure what I would do though. Like hell I’d get rid of my perfectly functional microwave but I don’t know whether I would say something or not. Difficult.

gamerchick · 21/12/2018 20:30

OP a 20 year old microwave is past it's best. The protective strip inside of it will have corroded and not be as effective at protecting you. Sling the bugger out, you're being weird about it.

JennyHolzersGhost · 21/12/2018 20:30

This is probably a very English problem.

jessstan2 · 21/12/2018 20:30

Don't be annoyed, she meant well.
Carry on using your beloved microwave until it eventually expires, put the new one away until then.

It is certainly true that things manufactured years ago lasted longer than they do now. I remember my first washing machine with affection, I even had it repaired at one time. It lasted years.

Gigglebrain · 21/12/2018 20:30

YANBU about her giving yo the microwave, as it’s your decision whether you want to keep/replace your microwave, however, YABU to keep a microwave that long, as others have said, it’s probably not safe anymore.

pointythings · 21/12/2018 20:31

Our microwave is 20+ years old and it's being replaced soon. At that age it is just not as energy efficient as it should be and energy bills/the planet do matter.

Honeyroar · 21/12/2018 20:32

Rehome it or stick it in the garage as a back up. Tell her it's in the garage until your current one dies. Tell her you really like your current one if she protests.

I'd think a newer microwave, probably built in China, is probably not any safer than older one personally - every electrical item we replace seems to be cheaper and nastier than their predecessors (for all those going on about safety)

WinterfellWench · 21/12/2018 20:34

That would fuck me off massively.

She is basically ignoring your wishes, disrespecting you, and saying you don't know your own mind.

Sorry, friend or not, I would be telling her you don't want - or NEED - a new microwave, and you are actually quite offended by the gift. Ask her if she wants it back, or if she wants you to give it away.

So what if she is pissed off? She sounds like a shit friend anyway sorry.........

Lovemusic33 · 21/12/2018 20:34

I think I would just say “thank you, I will put it away until my old one dies”. She probably thought it was a great gift and thought you would love it as you can’t afford to replace yours. I am with you with keeping things until they break (I have been using my oven for 2 years with a broken door, I lean something against it whilst I’m cooking to keep the door closed), I don’t want to replace it as it’s still usable but if someone went and bought me a new one I would be very grateful.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 21/12/2018 20:34

It is very hard to buy for adults. I think she was trying to be thoughtful. The correct response is thank you. What did you buy her?

EdtheBear · 21/12/2018 20:34

I would be worried about the safety of a 20 year old microwave. I bet its been playing on her mine.
Has the style of them really changed that much?

If you really don't like the new one get the old one tested before you do anything with it

PickAChew · 21/12/2018 20:36

Your old one probably isn't as functional as it seems. We replaced a 14 year old one when it became clear the Faraday cage was no longer viable and the door was sticking, the 2 probably not unrelated.

theonetowalkinthesun · 21/12/2018 20:37

I would also be irritated because she was well aware that if you wanted to replace it, you would have done. I don't agree with PPs that she bought it out of niceness per se, but out of thinking your stuff isn't good enough and ignoring your opinion (I have parents like this - which is why my guest thought was DEFINITELY not "she was being nice!")
So I'd be annoyed too. And wouldn't wanna use it because I wouldn't wanna teach her that what she did was okay - judging my stuff that she knows I don't want replacing and ignoring me anyway.

However the PPs have got a point with saying that a 20 year old microwave might not be as safe, so annoyingly I might actually consider keeping it if I was you. But ugh I would be annoyed about by doing that, it teaching her that what she did was okay! But I would keep it

itsboiledeggsagain · 21/12/2018 20:37

This happened to me! It was my PIL though so I politely accepted it. I still miss my old one with 2 dials, I can only use steamed pudding setting and I have to Google how to unlock it approx once a month.

I tolerate it because they used to complain at how long it took them to heat up their leftover takeaways Grin when babysitting and they are our best babysitters.

UhYeahISureHopeItDoes · 21/12/2018 20:39

Your friend went out of her way to buy you a shiny new microwave which has clear glass, numbers on the buttons and won't blow up, and you're angry at her because you want to keep your 20yo yellowing, faded, manky microwave?

She should have got you coal. You're so ungrateful. I can't believe you want to give away a perfect microwave just because you hate the fact that it actually looks nice. What a lovely person you are Hmm

PaulHollywoodsleftbollockhair · 21/12/2018 20:42

Parsimonious much OP?

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 21/12/2018 20:43

That would fuck me off massively.

She is basically ignoring your wishes, disrespecting you, and saying you don't know your own mind.

Sorry, friend or not, I would be telling her you don't want - or NEED - a new microwave, and you are actually quite offended by the gift. Ask her if she wants it back, or if she wants you to give it away.

So what if she is pissed off? She sounds like a shit friend anyway sorry.........

Or better still, kill the evil bitch, chop her into pieces, cook her in the fucking thing, then feed her to the rats.

It's the very least she deserves.