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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to avoid unvaccinated child?

99 replies

SundayGirlB · 21/12/2018 18:53

Currently pregnant with first child so may be over anxious, but worried about introducing our new baby to children in the family who are not vaccinated.

I think it's irrational and irresponsible not to vaccinate. WIBU to avoid until mine is vaccinated? It defo won't go down well but oh well.

OP posts:
Craft1905 · 21/12/2018 23:21

I think it is an unnecessarily dramatic and pointed thing to do to people who are only trying to do their best for their kids, however uninformed.

Would you say that about parents who allow FGM?

donquixotedelamancha · 22/12/2018 00:32

if I had my way, I would ban them any right to medical access.

This is an awful view. We don't blame other victims of abuse. We don't deny anyone life saving treatment on the NHS, least of all innocent kids who didn't ask to have fuckwit parents.

As a society, I'd like it if we were less socially tolerant of all selfish, harmful behaviour: anti vaxxers, homeopaths, dads who abandon their children etc; but it's also important that people are free to make dumb choices. You can't hand the state power over life and death to fix every problem.

A child cannot be excluded from an organised group, whether it be a business, voluntary or charitable because they are not vaccinated.

Of course they can. They usually aren't, and probably shouldn't for all the reasons discussed- but they can be.

Bluebonnieblue · 22/12/2018 00:53

I wouldn't take my baby to meet unvaccinated family even if it cause WW3. Which it would.

Iwant2befree · 22/12/2018 01:14

I don't think you ABU in the slightest.

Yes we can't control who our children connect with via image groups etc but I wouldn't knowingly expose my child to some other poor child whose parents refuse to vaccinate them.

I was only talking to a midwife on this topic the other day. I also feel strongly about this and really think children that are in vaccinated shouldn't be allowed in to schools. Parents that say "it's my choice not to vaccinate and it's my child" yes that's correct but "your choice" is putting other children at risk. Absolute Madness.

SD1978 · 22/12/2018 01:17

If avoid until the whooping cough vaccine, after that, probably not. Whooping cough is horrible and have seen the adverse affect of it in newborns. Everything else has a much lower risk.

nocoolnamesleft · 22/12/2018 01:50

YANBU. You can only protect your baby against known risks, but this is one. And these are some bloody nasty diseases.

Coyoacan · 22/12/2018 07:18

I'm in my sixties and was only vaccinated against polio and smallpox. I've had most of what were then the normal childhood diseases but I've never had whooping cough. I'm sure there are lots of us unvaccinated adults around. Why do you believe that children are so much more dangerous?

MissWimpyDimple · 22/12/2018 07:41

YANBU and I think I would make it clear that the unvaccinated child will not be welcome to touch/breath over/be near my baby.

It's pure selfishness to assume that herd immunity will protect their child. You have the right to protect yours.

Stay away. I look forward to the day that unvaccinated children are not allowed in schools/nurseries etc. (Unless of course for legitimate medical reasons - which is what herd immunity was for in the first place!)

Nodnol · 22/12/2018 08:41

At least two states here have no vaccination no enrollment policies. Children that are not immunized or have a medical exemption cannot enrol in child care or pre school. It’s brilliant. Government payments are also reduced if you don’t vaccinate.

I would keep my baby away for the considerable future if you know the children aren’t immunized.

And adults, please get the whooping cough booster!

RoseAndRose · 22/12/2018 19:58

Coyoacan

Whooping cough jab was introduced under NHS in the 1959s.

Your post demonstrates just how long the effect of your parents' decision not to vaccinate can rumble on.

Ironically those older - over 70 for DPT and over 50 for measles are (probably) lifetime immune as nearly everyone had the wild disease. Those younger may well not be, as uptake of jabs was quite low, and the diseases circulated less.

extrastrongnosugar · 22/12/2018 20:23

YANBU. We forgot this but people die from illnesses. In our country we currently have a measles epidemic which can be deadly for babies (of which i have one) and its completely changed my maternity leave. I just dont take him to closed spaces with lots of people. Its not worth it. And guess how that epidemic started....
Take the best care of you and your child, consult with a sharp doctor, and leave being nice to others.

extrastrongnosugar · 22/12/2018 20:25

Note: because of this epidemic also legislation is being considered to deny unvaccinated children entry to state sponsored kindergardens. Good.

BrazenFoxed · 22/12/2018 20:54

It's pure selfishness to assume that herd immunity will protect their child.

This isn't what most antivaxxers assume. Most don't believe vaccine induced herd immunity works. In fact the term herd immunity "was first used in 1923. It was recognized as a naturally occurring phenomenon in the 1930s when it was observed that after a significant number of children had become immune to measles, the number of new infections temporarily decreased, including among susceptible children." (Ref Wiki)

Sugarformyhoney · 22/12/2018 21:00

Dd isn’t vaccinated. I don’t make a big deal of it..but if people chose to avoid her because they felt it necessary then so be it. I wouldn’t care or be offended.
We all make health decisions with the best of intentions for our kids, just do you.

Sugarformyhoney · 22/12/2018 21:05

Also you might have to avoid Tesco, playgroups, GP surgeries etc etc. Several people aren’t vaccinated, adults included. Many people aren’t immune after vaccination as it can wear off or fail to work in the first place. It’s going to be difficult for you tbh.

Tink2007 · 22/12/2018 21:08

Even vaccinated children can catch the things they have had vaccinations for . A friend of mine gave her daughter the MMR but she still came down with measles around 6 months later.

I don’t think it is reasonable to think you can avoid illnesses tbh.

Craft1905 · 22/12/2018 21:13

@sugarformyhoney- Dd isn’t vaccinated. I don’t make a big deal of it..but if people chose to avoid her because they felt it necessary then so be it. I wouldn’t care or be offended.We all make health decisions with the best of intentions for our kids, just do you.

Yes, I make those decisions based on actual scientific evidence and having taken on board what medical professionals say. What criteria do you use?

CocoDeMoll · 22/12/2018 21:15

Lots of children you’ll come in contact with won’t be vaxxed but because of all the animosity towards it the parents won’t say anything. You can’t blame them and I say that as someone who has chosen to have a good few of the vaccines available out there for my children.

Sugarformyhoney · 22/12/2018 21:19

Don’t feel the need to discuss my choices here really- they are long, complex and irrelevant to the op. I’m not into the vaccination debate.
Was simply answering her post that she is not unreasonable.

Craft1905 · 22/12/2018 21:21

Lots of children you’ll come in contact with won’t be vaxxed but because of all the animosity towards it the parents won’t say anything. You can’t blame them

I can blame them! I blame them for making poor decisions and ignoring actual evidence, and I blame them for not wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm a complete idiot, please avoid."

Cathmidston · 22/12/2018 21:23

Well said Sugarformyhoney x

Original poster
SundayGirlB · 22/12/2018 22:07

Thanks for all your answers and sorry I've gone quiet, our Christmas started today. I understand that I will be unable to stop close contact with numerous unvaccinated people, I'm not an unrealistic person (or dim). My point was close, regular contact of a newborn with someone (who just happens to be a child) whom I know to be unvaccinated worries me and would others feel the need to avoid. Seems many do and many do not. Either way, we all make our choices for our children. But I do remain angry that by not vaccinating children through anything other than medical necessity others are at risk may have their choice to a disease free life (or at least free from the contagious ones these vaccinations guard against) taken away from them.

OP posts:
Sugarformyhoney · 22/12/2018 22:13

Op you are the parent, yanbu making a decision for your child. I would hope your non vaccinating relative would respect that choice, in the same way they have made a decision for their child. If you were my relative I would completely understand.
I think my biggest worry would be measles and the worrying thing is when my (vaccinated) dd got it, I was positively encouraged to take her to the GP surgery despite my protests- two drs failed to diagnose it too. As a new mum, I’d be more wary of medical establishments or child care facilities than an unvaccinated, otherwise well child

meow1989 · 22/12/2018 22:32

I think there are some unfair replies to op here, and there's a difference between knowingly exposing your newborn to children who haven't been vaccinated and potentially unknowingly coming into contact with a unvaccinated member of the public.

Newborn babies are so immunologically compromised and a carrier of an illness may not know they have it and are contagious prior to symptoms starting, again it's the difference of knowingly being around potential carriers of illness.

OP, I don't think YABU. Whatever way that you see fit to protect your newborn is acceptable. It's not a vax/antivax debate, it's you doing what you feel is best as a parent.

Amimissingsomethinghere · 22/12/2018 22:44

YANBU. They are selfish idiots. Even if you are seen as overprotective, who cares? It’s your baby, the most precious thing to you.