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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to avoid unvaccinated child?

99 replies

SundayGirlB · 21/12/2018 18:53

Currently pregnant with first child so may be over anxious, but worried about introducing our new baby to children in the family who are not vaccinated.

I think it's irrational and irresponsible not to vaccinate. WIBU to avoid until mine is vaccinated? It defo won't go down well but oh well.

OP posts:

LilQueenie · 21/12/2018 20:22

you would have to avoid everyone for life then as you don't know who has what in public or even the fact that most adults are not vaccinated for whatever reason. Just avoid those that are sniffly or coming down with something. Even the vaccinated are not immune to being carriers of diseases.

Monestasi · 21/12/2018 20:24

titchy

Yes, sadly the death of these children would be on their parents.

How else are we to tackle this growing epidemic of anti-vaxers?

Given they choose to eschew medical and scientific advice on immunisation, they should then forgo all other facets of this particular community.

It is not pick and mix here. My children are vaccinated. I expect others to do the same. Those that CHOOSE not to, must then give up certain rights. That includes access to the doctors and specialists they so mistrust.

Original poster

SundayGirlB · 21/12/2018 20:25

Not really for life, until vaccinated maybe...I know its not practicable.

OP posts:

Original poster

SundayGirlB · 21/12/2018 20:27

Monestasi its the risk that they expose others to which infuriates me. All for ignorant misinformed views. So selfish. People who do not think this is a risk to society are burying their heads in the sand.

OP posts:

Wanttomakemincepies · 21/12/2018 20:29

These diseases are on the rise due to the anti-vaxxers. It is not always possible to tell if they are contagious as they would be contagious before usual symptoms appear. So YWNBU to stay away.

donquixotedelamancha · 21/12/2018 20:32

The children are very unlikely to catch measles or anything, because most people are vaccinated those diseases are rare.

Sadly, because of the awful 'journalism' of the Mail et al, this is no longer true. It's improving, but childhood diseases had a big rise after the autism hoax.

I know its not practicable.

It's a relative thing. I certainly wouldn't pick up my child and run screaming if you see them- indeed you should think about the feeling of this poor kid in anything you do. That said, I would not be organising playdates or befriending the parents.

madnstressed · 21/12/2018 20:41

I know of 5 people who currently work with children under the age of 2, none of them are vaccinated. Seriously op you can't just question everyone on the off chance.
There's about 6 children in my son's nursery who are unvaccinated. I have 3 children in nursery nobody has ever asked if they are vaccinated, not even the hv. Fortunately they are. But I am also an unvaccinated adult

pigsknickers · 21/12/2018 20:43

I've been thinking about this recently -. I have several friends with unvaccinated children, but I only worked that out gradually for myself, no-one ever actually said "by the way, my children aren't vaccinated so you might not want them around your newborn". Which, with hindsight, makes me really bloody furious and wonder if they are so un-self-aware that they have no idea how their vaccinating friends think of them. I think there's a view amongst anti-vaxxers that those of us who do vaccinate don't actually think about the issues, we just stupidly and unquestioningly do as we're told like sheep, and they're the switched-on critical thinkers. One day I'm going to be cross (or drunk) enough to actually have it out with them. I have to mentally file it away most of the time as they're otherwise lovely friends.

Original poster

SundayGirlB · 21/12/2018 21:30

Not planning on questioning everyone. Its because I know in this case I suppose.

And yes pigsknickers, there is a superiority which gets me.

OP posts:

Pixel · 21/12/2018 22:09

No vaccine is 100% effective and it might not work for some people (that's why they give two doses of some of them as it's easier than trying to find the percentage of people for whom it didn't work the first time) so even if someone has been vaccinated it may still be that they are not immune and you could catch a disease from them.

Therefore I think you will drive yourself mad trying to avoid people who may be infectious because you can never know for sure.

Pixel · 21/12/2018 22:14

These diseases are on the rise due to the anti-vaxxers Ok, maybe there is some element of that but do you not think that thousands of people coming into the country from all over the world might have something to do with it too? You can't have 'herd immunity' if you keep increasing the size of the herd, especially if you don't even know who half of them are, or where they have come from, let alone what their medical background is.

AnOtherNomdePlume · 21/12/2018 22:24

I did see my unvaccinated family children when babies were newborn. Tbh They didn't have much contact and the babies are supposed to have the mother's immunity initially, I believe.

However I did then subsequently avoid those particular children until my kids had at least their first MMR. It is different to music group or playgroup imo: older cousins staying over for a weekend will be far more " in the face of" a baby than other babies at groups.

scaevola · 21/12/2018 22:27

MMR isn't given until age 13 months, booster pre-school (so 3+)

That is a long time to keep your child isolated.

Because you really are not going to know the vaccination status of children at groups. And you need to decide if you are keeping your DC away from the unvaccinated (which would, logically, include all unvaxxed, including those with medical reasons to omit some/all and the every single one of the under-1s as none of them wouid have had MMR because they are too young).

You might find yourself very isolated too, which is unlikely to help your anxiety. Because unless you isolate your DC consistently, and for the whole risk period, there isn't much point in doing it at all.

titchy · 21/12/2018 22:37

do you not think that thousands of people coming into the country from all over the world might have something to do with it too?

Yay blame it on immigration.

Smidge001 · 21/12/2018 22:40

You know there are adults out there that haven't been vaccinated too, right? Everyone talks about keeping their children away from other kids who haven't been vaccinated, but what about adults who haven't been?

StarUtopia · 21/12/2018 22:44

So you're going to stay in the house for years then?

How ridiculous!!! There are literally millions of unvaccinated adults wandering around. Highly likely a few very close to you, as vaccines wear off (unlike those who have had the disease who have immunity for life)

Seriously. Get a grip!

Charmatt · 21/12/2018 22:46

A child cannot be excluded from an organised group, whether it be a business, voluntary or charitable because they are not vaccinated. Therefore you could be at a toddler group, swimming class, baby massage group, nursery, brownies, school or wherever and regularly come into contact with unvaccinated children.

Auntiepatricia · 21/12/2018 22:53

I think it is an unnecessarily dramatic and pointed thing to do to people who are only trying to do their best for their kids, however uninformed.

Lazypuppy · 21/12/2018 22:53

I wouldn't avoid other kids incase they weren't vaccinated but i would if i knew for definite. Why would you risk it? So selfish of them

AnOtherNomdePlume · 21/12/2018 22:54

I took my child out in an area with very high vaccination rates.

I avoided (very close living) contact with selfish family who just didn't think MMR was right for their school age kids. It was easy in our case as they lived at a distance. But equally that meant if we saw them it was very full on for a few days and nights.

Pixel · 21/12/2018 22:54

So Titchy, you think that has no bearing whatsoever? That a person coming in on a lorry from a third world country has no effect at all to vaccination levels? Talk about head in the sand.

Lazypuppy · 21/12/2018 22:54

And odd replies. Normally threads about vaccinations are full of posters 100% behind vaccinating,this one seems to be the opposite

titchy · 21/12/2018 22:57

That a person coming in on a lorry from a third world country has no effect at all to vaccination levels?

How many people per thousand of population need to be vaccinated to provide herd immunity?

How many immigrants from non-vaxx countries are added to local 'herd' populations?

Oh you don't know. What a surprise...

deeplybaffled · 21/12/2018 23:05

Is your concern about the principle or the possibility of illness?
If the former, I can see where you are coming from, and if it is a wish to minimise the risks of avoidable illness, the latter makes sense too.
But if it is a general fear of your child becoming unwell, then that is more difficult, as, for example, there is no routine vaccination against chicken pox, which seems to do the rounds at nurseries/ groups on a regular basis and is impossible to avoid. Ditto HFM and various other bugs.
So if your concern is more of that nature, then you might want to take steps into helping you to manage your anxiety, rather than focusing on specific risks.
Oh, and I am very pro-vaccinations!

Craft1905 · 21/12/2018 23:19

I would certainly be avoiding the parents of an unvaccinated child. Because they are twats.

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