Renewing wedding vows

[lyinginthesundrinkingbubbles]

Whenever I hear this I think (silently to myself I might add):

"Someone has strayed and they've needed to recommit and forgive"

I just don't really understand it otherwise. Admittedly I know at least two couples who have done this for reasons of infidelity.
Anyone else think this as I know I'm being really mean and there must be some genuinely lovely reasons why some couples choose to renew vows.

I think affair too.

I think if you really want to publicly re-declare your love (I don't get the need at all personally) then have a big anniversary party with soppy speeches!

My spouse and I did so for our 10th anniversary in part because we had eloped and also because he really wanted to bring the family together after his brother was diagnosed with cancer. It is quite hard to get them together unless it's a big important occasion and my spouse worried we would run out of time otherwise unless we did something. It was still casual - did it all in our favourite pub restaurant, the only wedding industry thing I can remember was some invites I'd designed and ordered online. It was mostly a nice day.

I can see why, as it is unusual, for people to question why, I imagine there are lots of reasons though.

@missyB1 hope you and DH have some good fortune with your situation

We did it as part of our 25th wedding anniversary. Just a part of an ordinary mass, no great dressing up but in front of family and the parish.

I think affair, too. Seems really silly. We eloped. Just have a party.

Cynical here, I always think affair. We're having a big party for our silver anniversary (hope we make it!) but our vows have already been made for ever.

No it does not mean someone has had an affair fgs. Some people get to a point in their lives where they feel they as if they want to re-affirm what they have - maybe around a milestone birthday or to celebrate getting to a certain point in life whatever. Why not?

Thanks JoyceDivision we tend to just make the most of life now and live every day to the full

I think there is often the cheating thought, but also I’ve known people that got married quite young and may have a different circle of friends / more money etc do it. I love a good wedding so I’m all for it! For me I’d prob just do a big anniversary party to celebrate.

We are planning on doing it on our 10th wedding anniversary, purely becuase the first time round we didn't do it how we wanted, had no money, etc. We want to look back and think "we really loved our wedding" which at the moment, we don't.

I have never been to a renewal but know of a couple. Both were relatives of friends, both wanted a bit of a do as they hadn't had the money or circumstances for the first one. They'd both had registry office weddings one because they couldn't afford the alternative and they other because they needed a quick wedding because the Grandmother had months to live.

Until here it had never occurred to me to think that anybody had cheated. I assumed it was for people who wanted a bit more of extravagance/say than the first one.

And some people (me included) bloody love weddings.

Unless it’s on a milestone anniversary, I would probably think the same.

I used to think one of them has cheated. Now it also makes me think of that couple in America who had all their kids captive in the house and renewed their vows in Vegas every year

I don't think it's necessarily because of infidelity. My husband isn't from the UK (where we got married), so we considered having the equivalent of a vow renewal ceremony in his home country for the benefit of his family who weren't able to make it. In the end we didn't, but I know of three couples in similar situations who had multiple ceremonies/blessings across different countries of origin.

I also know a couple who decided to renew their vows a year or so short of their 50th anniversary, as he has a degenerative illness and it wasn't certain that he'd be well enough for a party at a later date. It was a low key affair in their back garden, with just close family who didn't even know it was happening until the celebrant turned up.

Having said that, I also know a person who is already planning a huge vow renewal for her (always 'her', never 'their') 5th anniversary, complete with wedding dress. They've only been married 3 years, and it's very much about her wanting to be the bride again.

Some relatives of mine did it after one of them was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They'd had a long marriage with plenty of ups and downs but were still a strong partnership and wanted to celebrate that in a happy occasion with friends and family.

I think it's not really all that different from an anniversary party and if people want to celebrate their marriage that's a nice, happy thing. People who don't want to celebrate don't have to attend, it is as they say an invitation not a summons.

We would like to do it because we didn’t get to say the traditional vows (to have and to hold etc etc) on our wedding day. The minister picked some random vows for us (something about deepening commitment) because he said we were already living together so the traditional vows were inappropriate. I would really like to do the traditional vows, not in front of loads of people but just because that was what I always pictured when I thought of my wedding.

Ellicam you should have picked a different minister! That is awful. So sorry you didn’t get to say the words you wanted.

We did it. Said our own words/vows. It was wonderful to do it in front of our children who were not born when we first got married. Never cheated. Been together over 20 years. Did it purely because we love each other as much if not more now than the first time.

I hope to renew my vows with DH. However, it will be in Vegas, complete with Elvis and just our kids there. Part of a family holiday we have planned. I fully and freely admit that my primary reason for wanting to do it is because it would be funny and we'd capture some great photos.

Thank you Bringback. I wish we had known earlier about the vows, he only told us the day before the wedding so we were totally taken aback. Then he went on about the Beatles during the ceremony

The only couple I know who have renewed their vows were married in the 60s secret and under a massive cloud of disapproval from both families because she had got pregnant out of wedlock. They weren’t given much choice. They had two witnesses, wore their ordinary clothes and there was no celebration.

Over 40 years and several children later when she was dying of cancer, they finally had a renewal of vows and a little party to celebrate their marriage. It was very emotional and moving.

We will renew our vows at some point.
I have a chronic illness and was really unwell on my wedding day (not visible to anyone else though). I am now receiving new treatment that has only just come out. This could cure my condition. If it does I would love to say my vows again with the luxury of being in no pain. That would be really special to me. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
I wouldn't invite anyone else though. Just DH and I.

My best friend renewed her wedding vows after her wanker of a husband had an affair. He did it again 5 years later. She had the sense to boot him out that time.

We plan to renew our vows in four years for our 20th anniversary. I think it's lovely to refresh and revisit your commitment. And I love any excuse to throw a big party every couple of years.

No infidelity here.