To think you shouldn't ask what to buy for a gift then go any buy something completely different?

[Snowydaysaregreat]

So I don't want this to sound u grateful but its been niggling at me.

One of. My ILs always asks what can I buy for Kids.
They give a price range and I generally choose something. Whether toys or pj's, dvd or whatever.
Each and every time they always get something completely different that won't get used or played with or wrong size clothes etc.

Example.. What can I get dd 9m..? I reply. How about some books 'that's not my' ones and said which she already had.. Alternatively Some pj in 1 to 1. 5 yrs for the spring. . Prob best to avoid clothes as she's In between sizes depending on the shop.
They replied does she need a coat.. I replied, no thanks she has 2 already in 9 - 12m and one thinner in 12 - 18m for spring.

I then don't give anyone else that idea so as not to double up on things or have too much.

She's just come Round with an all in one coat thing age 12 to 18m..said she couldn't resist. Which won't fit her till spring or early summer.? It's huge. She said she'll grow into it. I explained that maybe go for Smaller size for now or bigger for next winter.. She said ah just rollUp the legs etc.. No kidding her feet didn't even go down as far as the knees should be.
I mean why ask what to get.. And the coat would of been more pricey than a book or. Pjs.

The coat will never get used due to the seasons...

This was the same when she was born. She knew I received loads already. So said she'd wait until baby born.. She then got a 3-6m outfit that was a winter one... She would be that age in summer. Then we had that blazing heat so never got worn.

. Ds asked for a voucher for a particular store or cash towards some football boots he loves.. She got him an Asda voucher?

I mean why ask?
I always buy what her kids ask for which often can be a bit inconvenient due to location of the shops. But I'm starting to think just do cash in future.

Ugh. I had lots of this when DD was born.
Plenty of summer dresses in 6-9.....which will fit her now...and its winter lol.
Cash from now on sounds way better. Atleast youll get something thatll be used.

Yeah. You do sound ungrateful.

It is frustrating as it feels like they've wasted their money. Sell on e bay?

Well I wasn't meaning too. So I now have a thick winter all in one coat that will fit in spring.. My point was why ask? Then when asked if needed something, I say no for xyz reason.. And they go ahead and get it anyway? Even a bit of common sense with sizing wouldnt of been so bad.

I've never used ebay but may be worth looking into normally goes to charity or my friend works for sure start and takes some. Bits there

I don’t think you sound ungrateful. Ungrateful would be complaining about a pink coat when you wanted a purple one.
The fact is that these are things that your child will be unable to use. It’s a complete waste of your IL’s money.

Ah, the old MN "They didn't listen to you and gave you something completely inappropriate but you have to be grateful anyway" attitude. Gotta love it!

OP YANBU.

This drives me up the wall, why bother asking if you're going to ignore what is said. I find it so rude, and believe people who do it, do so because they think they know better than you.

Haha yes, I know this feeling. I’m always asked by one relative what my kids want for Xmas. So I tell her. Then she gets something completely different. Why bother asking me then?? If I was forcing a gift list on the family and they decided to go off piste, fair enough. But don’t waste my time by asking me and then ignoring it.

It’s disrespectful to you too as it means you waste time and effort thinking of things for them to buy, then completely ignore it. If they want to waste their money then fine, but don’t waste your time in the process.

If it's got the tags on it then go and exchange it. Most shops will allow an exchange without the receipt.

Thank you. Glad I'm not the only one who has this happen.
Definitely will look into an ebay account then put towards something theyll use or need.
Ds one is easy as I'll just swap the Asda voucher for cash for him. Not that I generally shop there, but a teenager won't shop in Asda I doubt lol

'It’s disrespectful to you too as it means you waste time and effort thinking of things for them to buy'
Come off it! Surely there are loads of things that kids want or need.

op can you take it back and get a voucher? Some stores will allow that if you don't have a receipt.

It was from Next.. I thought they refund to how you purchased it. Or am I imagining that?

I haven't shopped in Next for ages so I don't know, but there's no harm in emailing to ask if they will exchange for a gift voucher.

Thank you. Will email them now. I do have to go past next just before new Yr so may pop in there.

Come off it! Surely there are loads of things that kids want or need

At Christmas I get asked by my mum, my dad, my grandma, my auntie, my cousin, my MIL, my SIL, my uncle and multiple other people what they can get for my children. While I am grateful that they care for my children and buy gifts for them (we do obviously buy gifts for them too) I do find it a chore having to think of something from all of them. There aren’t actually that many things my 5 and 3 year olds want or need!

We had issues with this too. It became more of a problem as they got older when they had their hearts set on a particular toy which then didn't turn up (eg they wanted a doll's house and we'd ask for dolls for one child and the house for another. They'd end up with dolls but no house.) So we started saying, no need to get them anything, but if you really want to then cash/Amazon vouchers. Worked a treat.

YANBU, super annoying. Take it back before Christmas and you can get a gift card, I've done it loads of times with gifts from Next. If you wait until the new year you'll only get the sale price.

We've stopped doing presents because of this.

What's frustrating is that she spends more on stuff none of us can use, than what we wanted. Wereas we follow her list.

OP, next will put the refund on a gift card. They can tell that the coat has been legitimately sold. Return it before the sale.

YANBU - this drives me crazy - especially when you give the relative something to buy (because they ask) that the child really wants or needs - and they don’t buy it!

The only think I would say about the suit though is DD2 against all odds (the rest of us are all very tall!) is quite small for her age and wore a JO Jo 12-18 Month snowsuit the winter she was 2 3/4, so it might be useful?!

OK will do thank you.

YANBU my MIL does this with me.

Asks DH advert year what she can get me for Christmas. DH tells her something specific (eg one year I wanted a warmer for my glass teapot. He gave her a link to one that I had my eye on). He then won’t give this idea to anyone else.

Every year, she buys me something totally random. I can’t fathom it. I can tell she’s going to be the same with DS. God know what she’ll get him for his first Christmas.

I think eBay is a good idea for the stuff that you really won’t use, or returning it if you have a receipt.

Can you take the things back to the store for an exchange? You need a receipt or the price still on to get a full refund but can always exchange for sale price values.

Agree it is silly to ask what they should buy and then ignore what you say. Perhaps writing it down, with children's names on top, might help because people do forget and get one person mixed up with another at this hectic time of year.

The all in one coat thing you must try to take back, it's too silly to have something as big as that which will never be worn.

Mind you, lots of people flog really good stuff on ebay after Christmas so that's another idea.

Whatever happens I really hope you enjoy Christmas.

I think sometimes, people ask as a way of dropping hints when they've already bought something. Like your example of the coat, she'd probably already bought it and then asked does she want a coat.