To ask if you are a teacher, do you judge children by their siblings?

[Starchristmas]

Just that really, honestly?

I've got a child starting school in 2019. Older sibling went through our local school and has now left. Doing fine in KS3.

Dc1 had a few problems at the school, nothing too serious, low level stuff like getting easily distracted, chatting in class. All pretty much ironed out by the time they left, never got in serious trouble or anything like that.

On the whole dc1 has a happy time at the school, but at times lots of things could have gone better. Things dc could have done better, things I could have done better and things that the school could have done better.

I'm looking at sending dc2 to the school however I don't want them to be prejudged based on their older sibling. I want them to have every chance in their own right as an individual.

They're very different children so I'd hope they'd be treated as such.

No, as others have said I would only really be cautious if I had had a previous run in with the parents. Most of the time I don’t notice siblings (unless they look exactly like each other) until parents evening. Secondary teachers teach hundreds of students a year, chances are they won’t really remember your first child. If it’s a big school it’s unlikley they will even encounter the same teachers.

In secondary, if there is a notorious extended family with an unusual name, where every DC has been Trouble (capital T intentional) there would be a degree of bracing themselves amongst the teachers when a new child with that surname arrived. But as term started the child would be treated exactly as their own behaviour merited.

You also need to consider that secondary teachers not only like teenagers, but are not fazed by rude/surly/naughty behaviour and a lot of them are very fond of the naughty kids. So it is sometimes a case of "oh another Gobbychops! Hope he's a character like his brother" rather than a groan.

DC1 is very much loved at school, certificates, awards etc. DC2 will start soon & I think the teachers will be suprised at the difference, I’m still learning!

Lining up after primary Class assembly, Teacher called DS3 by DS2's name (3.5 yr difference in age). Their names are as similar as Iago & Thomas. Without missing a beat half the class corrected the teacher in unison (class were obviously used to chorusing this correction). I felt good natured about it, but it was clear they are seen as clones, while DS3 is also tainted among other parents cuz DS2 was widely seen as an ill-disciplined brat (one teacher declared this was cause of his bad behaviour, to my face).* The association is getting much weaker as DS3 gets older, more & more teachers at school never met his siblings.

Secondary school parent evening comment from many teachers: "Oh yes, of course! You're X's little brother!" (X is my ultra high achiever & school leader, little brother not same at all, but he still gets credit, see below).

*I get last laugh, cuz DS2's secondary school reports are full of comments about how mature & polite he is. I changed nothing as a parent. He just grew up a bit.

As someone who had a notorious sibling, it was always fairly obvious that I was put into the "watchful eye" category during the first class! And swiftly moved out again as I'm the polar opposite.

Your DS1 sounds perfectly normal and it only takes a few classes to form your own original impressions of somebody don't worry!

No.I do management cover and PPA across the school year 1 to year 5 and I am constantly surprised when I discover two or more children are siblings. Children are individuals.

Ooh this is really interesting. DD1 was a model student, polite, neat, hardworking, sweet natured, never in any trouble.

DD2 completely different in every way and I feel is often judged quite harshly because of how “perfectly her older sister was.

Just to be clear (Primary), I've definitely called younger siblings their older siblings names before now, as you sort of 'associate' them but that still doesn't mean you expect them to be the same.

I also agree with BalloonSlayer - that a child who is quite challenging is rarely disliked by staff. When I look back over 30 years of career, the dc I remember are almost always the ones we had to go 'above and beyond' for.

Oh, and I hate the fact I've sometimes called a dc2, or 4 or 4 an older sibling's name, as I am a 3rd child myself and hated being called any of my siblings' names . If it is any comfort though, I call my own dc by the wrong names sometimes

Lining up after primary Class assembly, Teacher called DS3 by DS2's name (3.5 yr difference in age). Their names are as similar as Iago & Thomas. Without missing a beat half the class corrected the teacher in unison (class were obviously used to chorusing this correction). I felt good natured about it, but it was clear they are seen as clones,

I have called children by a sibling’s name before. I have called my own children their siblings name before (my DM sometimes goes through a whole collection of family names before feting to me!) but it doesn’t mean I see them as clones. It just means I made a mistake.

I was ignored by my music teacher because she didn’t like my sister. The music teacher was very...... emotional. My (still) musically gifted sister did not fawn to her temperamental whims, or opt to take Music A’level, and as a result I was more or less ignored when my turn came to be taught by her.

Others assumed I would be more academic just because she was/is and I got a few ‘oh you aren’t applying to oxbridge, how disappointing’ comments, as though I had opted to become a juvenile delinquent.