AIBU to feel a bit hurt that my Dad never seems to like his presents?

[Alwaysunderwhelming]

This is a bit sad as I'm 29 and this is such a little problem.

Every year I try really hard to pick presents for those I love. I'm known as quite a good gift giver as I put care into my shopping and try to get what they'd want.

Every time I give my Dad a present he is thoroughly underwhelmed, says "that's good", handles it briefly and puts it down and gets back to whatever he's doing on his iPad.

I gave him a present for his birthday this week and he was, as usual, hugely unimpressed and went back to his iPad where I saw him googling the value of a Christmas hamper he's expecting from a client this week.

He works in London and eats at amazing restaurants and goes out to fancy places with clients. I can't compete with that as hard as I try.

I put effort into sorting out the dining table and cake for his birthday and he didn't even go and look, just made pizza as usual and sat on the sofa.

I feel slightly heart broken every time it happens and I don't know why I expect it to be different. I'm dreading Christmas day again. Often he just tells us to our faces that a present isn't what he wanted or he won't use it.

My mum works part time and my brother isn't on a huge salary. I'm back at uni so have little disposable income but we so our best.

I just wish he'd pretend I'd done a good job.

Some people are being waaaay too kind to this man. It's not a 'got too many things already' thing, it's a 'want to make my family feel like shit' thing. He doesn't even eat the bloody cake, use the presents or even pretend to like them. If he doesn't want presents, he should just say so (I do, it can be done). Accepting presents you have no intention of enjoying and making your family squirm is what dickheads do.

Get him a Gift Card and ask him to buy what he wants. My mother is the same way. She's never appreciative of gifts because she's extremely picky. I've learnt to just give her cash or gift cards and let her decide herself.

Definitely get him a charity goat.

#OnAScaleOf1to10ItsA7
"Honestly this man sounds awful and emotionally abusive. He gets a kick out of making you all feel like shit"

Wow.... that was some leap to get to that "super-projection".

I do get his viewpoint ... I'm now of a "more mature" age that i have all the "stuff" i need. There is only so much "stuff" the house will hold or that i can use. I dont want a new jumper that I wouldnt pick/wear, and i feel annoyed for the person wasting their money on something i dont want/need/will never use. I get really annoyed at the blatant commercialism of making people feel they have to get buy everyone lots more "stuff" to show how much they love others.

Perfect gifts would be... a simple card with a personal message why you love/appreciate him, a picture from your childhood with a note on your happy memories, donation to a charity he would support, favourite chocolate bar...etc.

Simple but thoughtful all the way!!

The idea of giving my Dad a sentimental note about my childhood makes my blood run cold, frankly! Talk about exposing myself emotionally only for it to be rejected..

My dad is exactly the same, the disappointment is deafening in his face and voice when he opens presents, no matter what I try. If I get him a big bottle of his favourite drink, there are pointed "oh I wonder what THAT could be" comments when hes given it. Practical presents get a "...that's it, is it?" Vouchers are a "cop out gift", the suggestion of not doing gifts at all or charity gifts was met with a horrified refusal.
He was the same when I was little though, he'd very occasionally get drunk and do the "what do you want, I'll give you anything!" and any answer on my part was met with clear disappointment. An answer of "I don't want anything" was met with "no, come on, what do you want?" Nothing I answered ever materialised, from toys to money to "I want us to go fishing again".

I'm 38 now and I'm still no closer to finding out what the "right answer" to any of it is, so now he gets what he gets.

I have no idea why you are trying to please this man. He has blighted your life by being a toxic manchild.

Buy yourself something lovely instead

He’s being deliberately rude.

Why do we pretend we like presents we secretly dislike? Out of consideration of other people’s feelings.

He’s not thinking about his daughters feelings at all. In fact it seems like he’s actively trying to hurt them.

He sounds very rude, very ‘not into’ the whole exchange of presents and certainly doesn’t seem to care about generosity and gratitude as valuable qualities.

Don’t take it personally, it isn’t about you, or the quality of the presents, it’s him.

I would say “Dad, what would you like for Christmas this year” and get him that. If he says nothing, fine.

You are setting yourself up to fail, because whatever you do, it just isn’t in him to be a gracious receiver of gifts!

I'm with PPs, there's nothing you can do that will please him so don't play his withholding game.

Just get him an Amazon voucher next time, no point upsetting yourself every time. Don't they say stupidity is repeating the same action over and over but expecting a different outcome? Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'd just stop investing any emotion in it.

Your dad sounds even worse than the OPs stormtreader I recommend not going to his for Christmas or birthdays and telling him you won't be doing presents in future.

Yes to the charity gifts OP, if you still want to be seen as buying him something, then at least someone will benefit, your dad will be just as rude and dismissive, and you don't have to waste any more time thinking it. Win-win situation! Personally I wouldn't get him anything at all and spend the money on myself!