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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU that there should be more checks that meant ex couldn’t do this !

30 replies

Furiousatlife25 · 20/12/2018 19:31

So I’m not being unreasonable when it comes to daughters dad who is an utter knob in every way but today has been one step too far !

Daughter dad has never lived with us he left when she was in nicu at 2 weeks old and we moved in to this flat in 2015 when she was 18 months old !
He has never even stayed a night or has any connection to this house.
Now I’m a single mum who is on benefits and carers as daughter has a life limited disease.
This morning I got post now I’m the only person in this house ( adult wise )
So automatically picked up post and opened it.
The letter was Barclays Bank, with a new card saying welcome etc
Explaining there is A 800 pound credit limit including 200 pound cash blah blah
Now I was confused as I never applied for anything so looked at name and it was on my daughters dad name !!!!!!
Then I realised there was 2 more letters from different companies in his name ( didn’t open these )
I rang Barclays straight away and they said unfortunately because that’s the details he used they can not stop the letters coming to my address.
Then he took my name but not number and said I will investigate. That’s it ??

My worry is that the DWP/ HMRC are pretty hot right now and any sign of an adult living here I would be put under investigation and our money could be stopped ?

Isn’t this fraud ?
How did he get the credit agreed with no previous link to my address?

OP posts:

redexpat · 20/12/2018 19:39

Sounds v dodgy and Im surprised they were so blase about it.

I would take a screenshot of your call to barclays. Did you get the name of who you spoke to? Keep the letters. Cut up the card.

I dont know if theres anything else you can do but Im sure better informed posters will be along soon.

Beaverhausen · 20/12/2018 19:42

It is fraud and you need to go to the police.

posthistoricmonsters · 20/12/2018 19:42

Ring 101 and ask the non emergency police if you need to log this. I only day this because I was the victim of fraud where someone forged my driving license and had it sent to my second to last address. When she started cashing cheques under my name I had undercover police arrive on my doorstep. I'm unsure who else you can go to but at 101 they may have some numbers for you.

Original poster

Furiousatlife25 · 20/12/2018 19:44

I’m so furious and worried I don’t understand why he would do this to us !
I’m in hospital with our daughter at the moment !

OP posts:

Lineofbeauty · 20/12/2018 19:44

What a stupid thing for him to do. What use is a credit card mailed your address anyway. I think you need to call the bank again and make it clear that your address has been used fraudulently. And then contact credit reference agencies to get the link between him and the address removed.

missymayhemsmum · 20/12/2018 19:52

Call Action Fraud.
Also contact Experian/ Equifax/Callcredit and the Council (electoral registration) as he may have created a whole fake identity at your address.
Arsehole. Is he doing it to get money/ credit do you think, or to mess with your life?

Original poster

Furiousatlife25 · 20/12/2018 19:58

I have no bloody idea his not responding to my messsges !
There is a letter from Yorkshire bank to which is weird as neither him or me live near any of those 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

woolduvet · 20/12/2018 20:07

I'd accidentally open all the post as it must be for you.
I'd definitely ring 101 and the action fraud. Take this seriously.

eurochick · 20/12/2018 20:11

You don't have to live near Yorkshire to bank with Yorkshire bank.

Medicaltextbook · 20/12/2018 20:14

Maybe contact welfare rights or CAB to ask if you should tell DWP what your ex has done, not wait till an investigation. I can see a risk though that they suspend benefits while they investigate.

UhUhUhDennis · 20/12/2018 20:17

You definitely need to open all the letters so you know what you're dealing with

redcaryellowcar · 20/12/2018 20:34

Do you think he might be able to access your property? I'm wondering if he's been able to get in to collect his post, would it be worth changing the locks?

Original poster

Furiousatlife25 · 20/12/2018 20:46

No he doesn’t even live anywhere near by ! This is what I’m finding sooo confusing.

OP posts:

ScurrilousSquirrel · 20/12/2018 21:31

Could it the the case that if he gets some bank-related post sent to yours, he can then download statements that will still have your address on them? Then he has "proof" of address to draw down finance or loans? Does he know a lot of detail about you, like your date of birth and mother's maiden name?
Definitely time to contact the police.

onalongsabbatical · 20/12/2018 21:34

Just pointing out that it could actually be someone else using his name and your address to commit fraud. Not necessarily him.

WhoPooped · 20/12/2018 21:35

You need to stop this immediately because he will not only get you into trouble with HMRC but also he could potentially ruin your credit rating by having debt registered to your address.
I would open everything for a week or so, then start contacting the companies saying they cannot send to this address as no one by that name lives there.
If the companies persist then go to your local post office and have it known that he doesn’t live there and all post to your address with his name on must be returned to sender.

AcrossthePond55 · 20/12/2018 21:49

Remember that opening another person's mail, even if it's got your address on it, is a crime. If he's an asshole, why open that can of worms?

I'd probably take a picture of the envelopes so you know who sent them, but then mark them "Return to sender, person does not live at this address" and post them back. Or if don't mind the postage, write a note saying that he is using your address without your permission and provide his correct address (if you know it) and enclose it with the letter and mail it all back to the sender. Chances are when they get to the source address they'll take some action to clarify his address and/or possibly suspend the account until it's cleared up.

I'd speak with the police AND the Post Office to see if there is anything else you can do or if they can advise you on any other actions you can take.

Shitonthebloodything · 20/12/2018 21:55

As above, Im no expert but if HMRC/DWP can see evidence of you reporting it as fraudulent activity it would hopefully to a stop to any potential action by them.
I hope your daughter is ok.

Jamiefraserskilt · 20/12/2018 22:10

As others have said, report to police, take pictures of front and back of envelope, circle senders address (Back of the envelope) and write RTS not known at this address. Pop in the letterbox.

Original poster

Furiousatlife25 · 20/12/2018 23:17

So I haven’t opened the rest of the mail !
I opened one as I’m the only adult that lives here so when it came through the door I auto opened it not even looking I looked at the others and never touched them.

It’s defo him there is no one with any connection that would know his real full name and my address there is no link to us what so ever.
He uses an English version of his Portuguese name this even includes his middle initial
We do not know the same people.
It’s defo him.

OP posts:

poppoppop100 · 20/12/2018 23:37

just send any envelopes back 'return to sender not at this address' on

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/12/2018 01:10

Remember that opening another person's mail, even if it's got your address on it, is a crime

NO IT ISNT!

Every single time someone trots this out......

It is not illegal if you can show that you had a reasonable excuse. Opening mail for someone you suspect to be using your address for fraudulent reasons would be considered a reasonable excuse. So the OP is not breaking the law.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/12/2018 01:12

he could potentially ruin your credit rating by having debt registered to your address.

No he couldnt. The debt is registered to the person not the address.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/12/2018 01:12

Cut any cards up too

m0therofdragons · 21/12/2018 01:14

Just write "not known at this address" and scribble out your address and then post it. They'll return to sender. Done.

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