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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So fucked off with DSs teacher & homework

67 replies

Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 17:29

Yr7, not a natural student but works hard and does try.

Hates homework with a passion. I never made them do it in primary school as I personally don’t see the value at that age. This was his first term at secondary school and it’s been hard for him to keep on top of all his homework.

He had one subject where his homework was a term long project. This was made up of 5 tasks taking a few hours each. His first effort was terrible, really rushed and had hardly bothered. I sat down and talked to him about putting more effort in and taking pride in his work etc etc.

In the end he worked really really hard on his project. Over and above what needed to be done. I could see how proud he was when he showed me the finished project. He even bought a new binder for it out of his own money.

Due date was yesterday. When it got to the end of the lesson another girl put her hand up and said about their homework. The teacher, quoting from DS here, said “oh god yes the homework hahaha, um hands up if you have done it”. DS says maybe 6/7 people put their hand up. The teacher then just shrugged and said oh well don’t worry about it now, let’s see if we can do better on the next one” she then dismissed the class without taking the homework from the kids who had done it!

DS was really annoyed when he came home and said what’s the point in even doing it the teacher doesn’t even care. I know its end of term etc but AIBU to be fucked off with her lack of interest? Don’t bother setting homework if you don’t care about it surely?!

OP posts:
ClaudiaWankleman · 20/12/2018 17:53

Now that is a bright lad who has got things sussed - he will go far!

I disagree. A benefit of doing homework is that you learn to do things on your own without being guided every step of the way by a teacher in the room.

I would imagine he will struggle to revise for GCSEs, A Levels and beyond if he has never learnt those skills.

Fridaydreamer · 20/12/2018 17:53

As adults we can see that the act of ‘doing’ the homework is enough.

However as a child that is a lesson that may take awhile to learn and they instead do the work in exchange for the ‘reward’ ie praise from the teacher.

For his teacher to dismiss his efforts without care will not encourage him as a student to work harder. At this age, praise for working hard is important. The teacher should realise this.

Definitely take it up with the Head politely.

MrsStrowman · 20/12/2018 17:53

She should've taken it in, send him back in with it to give to her.
You might have had less trouble with getting him to do his homework and his attitude towards it, if you'd gotten him into the habit in primary school, rather than having dismissed it as pointless.

As PPs have said the work he did isn't for nothing as I'm sure he learned something by doing it.

Avrannakern · 20/12/2018 17:55

And also.. the benefit of doing homework is primary is that your children learn HOW to do homework. They learn how to focus and concentrate outside of the classroom and they learn to work independently. You were stupid and short sighted to discourage homework in primary. If you have younger children, then please learn a lesson here.

Pieceofpurplesky · 20/12/2018 18:01

I am a teacher and I would never do that. This is why I never set project homeworks or the trendy menu ones that seem to be about where you select a range of tasks.

Homework should support learning. If I had my way I would scrap it all for reading every night.

I would email the teacher or the head of department

Posthistoricmonsters · 20/12/2018 18:03

Whilst the homework is about stretching the learning and growing the brain with challenges, it is sad now to have something you worked hard on acknowledged. This doesn't make your son precious. There might be some clever clogs stress free easy going pupils who could do it in a breeze and not care, but most of us do care. And I think the teacher was wrong. I think handing it in with a kite from yourself explaining very briefly and simply that it was a struggle for him but he completed it on time and was mortified bot to have been credited for what he did, specially when others didn't bother.

AlbusSeverusMalfoy · 20/12/2018 18:04

I'd be pissed off too. What's the point in kids putting time, effort and sometimes money into homework if there is no 'punishment' for the kids that don't bother.

Original poster
Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 18:04

His primary homework was 85% crafts. He does enough of that at home.

Actual homework with value, times tables, sats prep etc he obviously did.

Build a volcano from a cereal box? Who’s got time for that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 18:06

How many of your 11 year olds would walk up to a teacher and insist she takes their homework after she’s told them it doesn’t matter?

OP posts:
EmUntitled · 20/12/2018 18:10

I would send an email to the head of department, saying you are concerned because DS spent a lot of time on the project but the teacher seems to have forgotten to take in the project, does HOD know when the teacher is planning to mark the HW.

As a secondary teacher.

Popfan · 20/12/2018 18:11

That's crap. I'd be really cross and would definitely take this further.

MumW · 20/12/2018 18:12

I would start by emailing the teacher concerned and calmly and politely explain what you've said here and say how he is now demoralised and you're going to struggle to get him to do the next set of homework. The students who have bothered should have been praised and those that didn't, a stern talking to.

I agree that it wasn't wasted effort, it will have helped broaden knowledge around the subject/reinforced themes etc.

Original poster
Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 18:15

Not to drip feed but the school is in special measure atm and one of the main concerns was lack of discipline, no control over students and poor results.

This was only 6 mths ago. The school set out a new discipline system which was going to be followed to the letter apparently. Homework and not completing it is part of it!

OP posts:
EmUntitled · 20/12/2018 18:17

Sorry didn't finish. As a secondary teacher I think this is rubbish. How are students supposed to learn the value of putting in hard work if the teacher doesnt even notice.

Also I do think its a bit short sighted to have a big project handed in on the last day of term when everyone if half asleep. Did the teacher not check each part of the homework as it was done, rather than leave it until the end when its too late if they havent done it.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2018 18:26

So, potentially, when your ds didn't bother to do the volcano homework, he was putting his peers in exactly the situation he now finds himself in?

Avrannakern · 20/12/2018 18:31

It was your job to make time. End of.

Original poster
Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 18:31

@arethereanyleftatall what on earth are you talking about? He doesn’t need his peers approval 🙄

OP posts:
Avrannakern · 20/12/2018 18:33

@Fuckyousanta

He didn't do the homework. If a lot of them didn't do the homework then the kids who did do it would have potentially had the same experience he has just had. Being told it didn't matter anyway and to forget about it.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2018 18:36

Not quite my point.
With the hw you're talking about, other students didn't bother, so teacher decided to not bother.
Previously, your son has not bothered, thus putting those who did bother, at the same risk.
So, it's fine when you do it, but not when the shoe is on the other foot?

HJWT · 20/12/2018 18:37

Defo take it to the head, setting your son up to fail.

saveforthat · 20/12/2018 18:37

Reminds me of when my son was younger. I saw a young English teacher at parents evening. She said she doesn't give out homework because nagging those that don't do it would ruin her relationship with them. I told her I wanted her to educate my son not have a relationship with him.

Original poster
Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 18:38

Would have potentially had the same experience....only if the teacher decided to ignore the ones who had done it?

OP posts:
Avrannakern · 20/12/2018 18:42

Well, the teacher has a choice.

Either say it's ok, it doesn't matter, you didn't need to do it... which then makes the ones who actually tried feel like crap, or the teacher could tell off the ones who didn't do it and demand they have it done for the following week etc... But that doesn't work when the parents are not supporting the child. If the parent won't bother, the teacher can force the homework to be done. So the primary teacher would have to let your son away with it... and that's a slap in the face to the kids who tried.

You reap what you sow. Now you're going to have to push your son to do his homework to the absolutely best of his ability, whether you think the homework is worthwhile or not. He needs to do it.

VickyEadie · 20/12/2018 18:49

If I were the Head I'd want to know. Part of the head's job is to ensure that teachers do their jobs properly - and setting homework but not even looking at it is not 'doing your job properly.

It's not about disciplining the teacher for me - it's about ensuring the teacher's practice is the best it ought to be.

PixieN · 20/12/2018 19:00

I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t do this. As a pp said it’s discouraging and demotivating for the student who has gone to so much effort. I wouldn’t advise going straight to the head though - so many people say that when it would be better to just speak to the teacher concerned directly.