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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So fucked off with DSs teacher & homework

67 replies

Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 17:29

Yr7, not a natural student but works hard and does try.

Hates homework with a passion. I never made them do it in primary school as I personally don’t see the value at that age. This was his first term at secondary school and it’s been hard for him to keep on top of all his homework.

He had one subject where his homework was a term long project. This was made up of 5 tasks taking a few hours each. His first effort was terrible, really rushed and had hardly bothered. I sat down and talked to him about putting more effort in and taking pride in his work etc etc.

In the end he worked really really hard on his project. Over and above what needed to be done. I could see how proud he was when he showed me the finished project. He even bought a new binder for it out of his own money.

Due date was yesterday. When it got to the end of the lesson another girl put her hand up and said about their homework. The teacher, quoting from DS here, said “oh god yes the homework hahaha, um hands up if you have done it”. DS says maybe 6/7 people put their hand up. The teacher then just shrugged and said oh well don’t worry about it now, let’s see if we can do better on the next one” she then dismissed the class without taking the homework from the kids who had done it!

DS was really annoyed when he came home and said what’s the point in even doing it the teacher doesn’t even care. I know its end of term etc but AIBU to be fucked off with her lack of interest? Don’t bother setting homework if you don’t care about it surely?!

OP posts:
VickyEadie · 20/12/2018 17:31

Send it to the head, with a covering letter (polite, mind!) explaining what you've told us and saying you hope s/he might take a bit more interest than the history teacher did.

I'm serious (I used to be a head).

continuallychargingmyphone · 20/12/2018 17:34

I wouldn’t say anything about this. Yes, she should have taken it in I suppose but I bet she’s had other things to sort.

EmeraldShamrock · 20/12/2018 17:34

The others should be told to catch up on the Christmas break. I would be so pissed off if I was DS.

Veterinari · 20/12/2018 17:36

Definitely complain. It’s so discouraging to work hard and have that effort dismissed

RedHelenB · 20/12/2018 17:36

I'm sure she wouldn't have shoved it back into his face if he had actually given it to him. You're being a bit precious imo.

Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 17:36

@continuallychargingmyphone, so don’t set the homework in the first place?

OP posts:
Fuckyousanta · 20/12/2018 17:38

A bit precious? She wasted hours of DSs time for nothing. I wouldn’t call that precious

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 20/12/2018 17:39

I would also complain to the head. Yes she might be busy but some children in the class have given up hours of their time to complete the work she set. The very least she could do is acknowledge the work they have done and mark the homework. If she could be bothered to mark it and she didn't think it a valuable use of her students time then why bother setting it.

Noteverythingisabingthing · 20/12/2018 17:41

That's a bit crap! I would be disappointed if I was your son(and you!) The teacher could have given all the ones who did it a reward of some sort (stamps or whatever they usually use) if they didn't want to punish the ones who hadn't bothered. They should have collected it in and marked it.

tillytrotter1 · 20/12/2018 17:41

The teacher was wrong, a bit of end of term euphoria maybe.

However your son hates homework , you never made him do it becuase you didn't perceive the need. He now has your attitude, can't be bothered and you accept that, good luck in the coming years, you'll be making excuses for him forever.

CuckooCuckooClock · 20/12/2018 17:41

Could you suggest to your son to take his work to the teacher and tell her that he worked really hard on it and would appreciate it if she marked it?

showmeyourgroovymoves · 20/12/2018 17:42

I would be so cross. What an example to set the kids. I would do as the first poster suggested with a covering letter explaining how much more difficult this teacher has made it for completion of homework in the future AngryAngry

sirfredfredgeorge · 20/12/2018 17:42

She wasted hours of DSs time for nothing. I wouldn’t call that precious

I think you misunderstand the point of homework, it's about revising or extending the learning in the class, it's not about handing it in, it's about doing it.

No time has been wasted, simply because it wasn't marked. Unless the homework was wrong or had some significant misunderstandings that needed correcting, the teacher doesn't need to see it for the homework to have value.

I suspect the homework didn't have much value, homework often doesn't, and the teacher was wrong not to take it in, but this characterisation of it does your DS no favours.

CuckooCuckooClock · 20/12/2018 17:43

Please don't complain to the head.

Fattymcfaterson · 20/12/2018 17:43

Everytime someone comes on here with a teacher complaint we are always told that the teacher probably had other things to sort/do.

Apparently teachers can just opt out of doing parts of their actual jobs (taking on and marking homework) because they have other stuff to do Confused

I might try that with my boss.

BobLemon · 20/12/2018 17:44

VickyEadie’s reply is great! Do it :)

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 20/12/2018 17:45

He now has your attitude, can't be bothered and you accept that,

The Op admitted his first attempt was rushed but after a small chat he threw himself at the project and tried hard to do it. I don't think that attitude fits inline with your comment. The attitude of the teacher is more likely to give him the outlook of not being bothered rather than the OP thinking primary school homework is unnecessary.

Mishappening · 20/12/2018 17:46

Homework - bloody homework. A lot of it is set to tick a box rather than to extend a child's knowledge.

A 15 year old lad who is dear to me does not do any homework and gets one detention after another. He just says that doing the detentions is less hassle than doing the homework. Now that is a bright lad who has got things sussed - he will go far!

dootball · 20/12/2018 17:48

@sirfredfredgeorge spot on. If the homework has been done well to a high standard then the student will clearly have already benefited from it already.

CowJumping · 20/12/2018 17:48

She wasted hours of DSs time for nothing

I wouldn’t call what he did “nothing” or a waste. Look at what he learned: how to plan a big project. How to do drafts each of which is an improvement of his work. How to break down a big task into doable chunks. How to plan his time ahead of a deadline. How to present his hard work to its best advantage. How to take pride in the presentation of his work.

So what if the teacher ignores this? You can teach your DS that he’s learnt how to do something he usually finds difficult and that he can reflect on what he’s leant as an independent learner.

You can be part of his education which is far more important than just his schooling.

Villanellesproudmum · 20/12/2018 17:49

I wouldn’t be happy, not sure I’d go to the head, the teacher maybe.

Littleraindrop15 · 20/12/2018 17:49

I agree with you that the teacher should of been more engaging.

However homework wasn't a waste of time regardless of it being marked. Perhaps you could sit down with your son and go through it and see what he has learnt might be a nice bonding experience for both of you...

Bobbybobbins · 20/12/2018 17:49

I would not contact the head but I would suggest either he takes it to the teacher and asks her to mark it for him or speaks to his form teacher/head of year

LongWalkShortPlank · 20/12/2018 17:51

Bit like you wasted the previous teachers time by deciding to let your child opt out of homework. Sounds like you made a rod for your own back with this, homework wouldn't be such an issue now if you had just encouraged it then. And knowing your child wasn't a natural student you should have encouraged it so they could go over the material and so the teacher could see where they were at independently. What stopped your child from just... Handing the project in to the teacher? I actually do think you're being unreasonable to think it's their fault that your child didn't just give it to them.

Avrannakern · 20/12/2018 17:53

Follow the advice of the first reply.

Your son is a student who will need encouragement so ti have actually tried hard for the first time just to be told it doesn't matter.... why would he bother next time.

The schools job is also to install a work ethic into the kids. This teacher is actively discouraging them from trying hard.