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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Expensive work trip - WWYD?

49 replies

ConkerGame · 20/12/2018 10:08

I’m starting a new job soon and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve met the team and they’re all lovely. I’ve just found out that they get on so well with one another that they plan an annual trip together, which happens to be a couple of weeks after I join.

It’s a long weekend and is not obligatory but about 85% of the team go (and pretty much all of the juniors, like me). The company doesn’t make any contribution towards funding it but they let everyone have the same day of annual leave so that they can all go together (normally has to be staggered).

They’ve kindly invited me along to this year’s trip even though they’ve only met me once before. I was so excited to be invited as I love going on holiday and I thought it would be a brilliant way to meet everyone.

But here’s the problem - they’ve just sent over a breakdown in cost and it’s £1.2k !! For just a three day trip! It cost all of them about half of that as they booked it a while ago and now flight prices have gone up a lot, plus they’re all sharing rooms in groups while I’d have to have a room to myself as there’s nobody left to share with.

I don’t have that amount of cash spare, although I could cover the cost by dipping into savings, putting some on my credit card and borrowing some from my parents. I’ve also got some cash flow issues over the next couple of months due to a house move and odd payday dates so while I’ll be ok again by March, I’m going to be having to do a fair amount of borrowing/using credit etc over jan and Feb already.

I’m so gutted - it seemed like the perfect start to the new job and an easy way to get to know everyone, plus they’ll all come back afterwards with so many stories of what they got up to together so I’ll feel left out being pretty much the only one not there. I also don’t want to look unkeen or antisocial. But at the same time I’m not sure I can justify spending this amount of money?? There’s a couple of other trips I’d like to go on this year too, so it wouldn’t be my only holiday.

I don’t have kids so nobody else would really be affected by my decision, if that helps. My parents would be happy to lend me the money as they know they’d get it back in March.

So...if you had the same situation as me, WWYD??

OP posts:
Munchyseeds · 20/12/2018 10:11

Thats a silly amount of money!!
I would give it a miss this year....you will enjoy it more next year when you know them all better anyway

Patchworksack · 20/12/2018 10:12

Presumably lots of them wouldn't have forked out £1.2k to go if that was the price at the time it was booked? Sounds like you have a perfect excuse to say "Sorry, that's way too expensive - put my name down for next year" I wouldn't put myself into debt to go on a work jolly.

proseccoaficionado · 20/12/2018 10:13

In short; hell no. You don't even know these people, what if you don't even like the job/them?

Next year is a whole different story.

missfliss · 20/12/2018 10:13

Give it a miss this year. Wait till you are settled in your role before making any large financial investments in your new job

Merryoldgoat · 20/12/2018 10:13

Not go. There is no way I’d spend that much on a 3 day trip with people I barely knew, new colleagues or otherwise.

Timeforabiscuit · 20/12/2018 10:15

Perfectly fine for you not to go this year,

Holidayshopping · 20/12/2018 10:16

That’s a ridiculous amount of money for a weekend away which I (on a part time teacher salary) would not be able to afford.

If you are starting a new job which is going to pay a really good wage and you’re not in debt, go for it, otherwise I think it’s very expensive and wouldn’t go. Surely the others-who paid half what you would pay-would understand why.

ExplodedPeach · 20/12/2018 10:17

No I wouldn't go. £1200 is a crazy amount of money for a 3 day trip! I doubt I'd pay that for a trip with my best friends, let alone work colleagues I barely knew.

But even cost aside - I personally wouldn't want to go on a trip with a group of people who all knew each other really well, but who I barely knew. Especially two weeks in where I would still be very conscious of trying to impress. I'd just look forward to hearing their stories and going next year when you know them better.

You won't look unkeen or antisocial - at short notice and that price I suspect they would be more surprised if you came than if you didn't.

Racecardriver · 20/12/2018 10:17

It depends on how much you want to socialise with you coworkers. If you have moved to a new city for this job/are looking for someone to marry and not having luck in your current social circle/lookingfor new friends for some other reason or you are in a position where you need to play politics e.g. chambers then I would consider it worth the investment. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother.

Thespace · 20/12/2018 10:18

Yes just decline this year.

SarahSissions · 20/12/2018 10:19

I'd double check the costs- see if you can get a cheaper flight out a few hours before or something.
If you can't go I'd make your new colleagues aware that you really wanted to go so they know your the kind of person who likes to get involved.

RandomObject · 20/12/2018 10:23

Don't go (I doubt they would if it cost that much either) saying it's not doable last minute as you're already booked, and instead invite them out for drinks, ask them for all their stories, laugh along and tell them how much you look forward to going next year.

Returnofthesmileybar · 20/12/2018 10:26

You would be insane! I know you don't want to look anti social or unkeen but to be honest nobody is expecting you to go and they won't care if you do or not. That's not meant in a bad way, they are clearly nice but nobody will care whether a person they met once attends anything, even a night out not to mind a holiday!!

Just message back "Sounds like a fantastic trip! It would have been great to go but I'll give this one a skip and get in earlier next when the flights are a good price. Hope you all have a great time and thank you for thinking if me"

Don't over think it, don't get into debt for it and it's probably best anyway to wait till the next one when you can fit right in with established friendships and roomshare with others

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 20/12/2018 10:28

I would also give it a miss this year, its not like they will think poorly of you and everyone else manages to get to know people in new jobs without a £1k holiday.

On a separate note where on earth do you work that can allow 85% of staff 4 days off together? What would happen if everyone wanted to go would the business close down for 4 days so they could have a holiday, it doesn't make much business sense.

gladheart · 20/12/2018 10:28

If they are that sociable I'm sure there will plenty of other opportunities to bond with them.

WhatsUpHun · 20/12/2018 10:29

i wouldnt go for this one, and then plan to go on the next one

you wont be able to relax as you dont really know them

babysharkah · 20/12/2018 10:30

No way! That's insane.

Neverunderfed · 20/12/2018 10:30

Nope. They've invited you to be polite, but they don't really expect you to go.

DorisDances · 20/12/2018 10:32

Don't go. Leave it until next year when you will have saved up the money and will know the in jokes that are bound to come up. If you go, you will end up in debt and could find you felt a bit out of things. Congratulations on the new job.

AornisHades · 20/12/2018 10:35

Tell them you'd love to go but can't really afford the cost of booking late with a house move etc. Also say that if anyone has to drop out at the last minute and you can take over a £600 space then you could borrow that much and would be interested.

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/12/2018 10:36

Is it this stupidly expensive because the flights and hotel are being booked at short notice and you're not sharing a room?

Surely it's nowhere near that much when booked months in advance?

I take it it's a social event rather than something that is part of the job?

It's disappointing to miss out on key events like this, but also unrealistic to expect you to spend so much, especially when it hits your cashflow.

Unless you really really want to go and can make the finances work (possibly see if an indirect flight or using other airports makes the flight cheaper) I'd leave it for this year but plan to go next year.

Anticlockwatcher · 20/12/2018 10:40

The whole thing sounds ridiculous. What's this 'allow people to use the same days for annual leave' shit to start with? If it's a work trip, there's no fucking annual leave to be taken. It's work, even if it is a jolly.

Second, even if it was £600 rather than a ludicrous £1.2k out of your NET salary, unless you are on over £250k per year they can fuck right off, because at least then the cost is a smallish amount of your net pay for the amount of time the trip is. Otherwise it's literally costing you more than you're paid by a massive margin.

What a fucking cheek. If the bosses want these sort of events they pay for it.

Allthewaves · 20/12/2018 10:44

There's always next year. Nice they invited you but that's a stupid amount of money.

pinkdelight · 20/12/2018 10:46

I didn't read it as being a work trip that the bosses want at all. I thought it was just that the work colleagues all get on a have an annual holiday together, in which case the boss rage doesn't apply.

But otherwise I agree with everyone who said to skip it this year. Worrying that they'll have lots of shared stories is irrelevant really as they've already done lots without you so you're starting from scratch anyway. Wait until you know if you actually like them and the job and then go with them next year.

recently · 20/12/2018 10:47

I would definitely thank, decline and explain the cost has gone up and you will go next year.

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