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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Expensive work trip - WWYD?

49 replies

ConkerGame · 20/12/2018 10:08

I’m starting a new job soon and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve met the team and they’re all lovely. I’ve just found out that they get on so well with one another that they plan an annual trip together, which happens to be a couple of weeks after I join.

It’s a long weekend and is not obligatory but about 85% of the team go (and pretty much all of the juniors, like me). The company doesn’t make any contribution towards funding it but they let everyone have the same day of annual leave so that they can all go together (normally has to be staggered).

They’ve kindly invited me along to this year’s trip even though they’ve only met me once before. I was so excited to be invited as I love going on holiday and I thought it would be a brilliant way to meet everyone.

But here’s the problem - they’ve just sent over a breakdown in cost and it’s £1.2k !! For just a three day trip! It cost all of them about half of that as they booked it a while ago and now flight prices have gone up a lot, plus they’re all sharing rooms in groups while I’d have to have a room to myself as there’s nobody left to share with.

I don’t have that amount of cash spare, although I could cover the cost by dipping into savings, putting some on my credit card and borrowing some from my parents. I’ve also got some cash flow issues over the next couple of months due to a house move and odd payday dates so while I’ll be ok again by March, I’m going to be having to do a fair amount of borrowing/using credit etc over jan and Feb already.

I’m so gutted - it seemed like the perfect start to the new job and an easy way to get to know everyone, plus they’ll all come back afterwards with so many stories of what they got up to together so I’ll feel left out being pretty much the only one not there. I also don’t want to look unkeen or antisocial. But at the same time I’m not sure I can justify spending this amount of money?? There’s a couple of other trips I’d like to go on this year too, so it wouldn’t be my only holiday.

I don’t have kids so nobody else would really be affected by my decision, if that helps. My parents would be happy to lend me the money as they know they’d get it back in March.

So...if you had the same situation as me, WWYD??

OP posts:

daisypond · 20/12/2018 10:49

Don't go! Wait till next year.
It's not a work trip at all, so work shouldn't be paying for it, though.

InfiniteCurve · 20/12/2018 10:50

Who has an annual holiday with their work colleagues? Who? That's so weird...
I have worked with some lovely people but no one I've ever felt the urge to go on holiday with!

SushiMonster · 20/12/2018 10:50

"Thanks for the invite guys, £1.2k is a bit much to find at this notice but put me down for next year!"

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 20/12/2018 10:53

Who has an annual holiday with their work colleagues? Who? That's so weird...
I have worked with some lovely people but no one I've ever felt the urge to go on holiday with!

I didn't want to say it because the Op seemed excited at the prospect but I thought it was bloody weird too. I understand if you are friends but surely they don't all like each other, it's statistically impossible so why are they going away together every year?? Don't they have families and friends of their own?

Isleepinahedgefund · 20/12/2018 10:53

Sounds like hell to me - I'd thank your lucky stars the cost is prohibitive!

Alwayscheerful · 20/12/2018 10:55

Put me down for next year and on the reserve list for this year should anyone drop out.

Seniorcitizen1 · 20/12/2018 10:55

At that price I wouldn’t go on the trip ever

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/12/2018 10:56

Well if there are lots of young people without DCs at the company and it's all quite social, an annual weekend away isn't weird at all and you don't need to like everyone to enjoy doing it, just have a few friends at work, which seems quite normal.

SpiritedLondon · 20/12/2018 10:59

I started a new job in my unit a year ago and felt awkward at the Christmas drinks - I definitely wouldn’t want to be away with people I didn’t know. You would also need to be on your best behaviour since their impression of you is going to formed your conduct over that time. I would take the opportunity to get to know your boss / other staff a bit better or learn something about the role / processes that will help you perform your role better.

olympicsrock · 20/12/2018 11:02

Too expensive. Give it a miss and go next year. Perfectly understandable not to go.

TokyoSushi · 20/12/2018 11:02

I really don't think you can go.

I'd give a really positive decline 'I'd absolutely love to come but it's just too expensive at short notice. I'm looking forward to next year already!' or something like that. Sounds like a fun place to work!

Puggles123 · 20/12/2018 11:04

I would wait until next year so it’s cheaper, you can see if you actually want to spend time with your workmates, and can join in with planning and the build up. As to whether it’s weird, depends on the team; some I have worked in I can imagine it being great fun, others...not so much.

Chamomileteaplease · 20/12/2018 11:07

I can understand you being sad about it but realistically you are not going to know these people, you will be in a room by yourself and it just not going to be the great friend making event you imagine.

Allow yourself to feel disappointed but really, use the year to settle into your job and get to know these people gradually. By next year you will be fully up for it and able to afford it.

Imagine coming back from three days which were kind of ok but a bit awkward and you were £1.2k in debt. Horrific.

amicissimma · 20/12/2018 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieMarlow · 20/12/2018 11:10

Wait til next year. It would be crazy to spend that kind of money.

jessstan2 · 20/12/2018 11:10

Surely not everyone can afford to do that every year, it's a huge amount of money. Give it a miss this year and save up for next, no-one will think any the worse of you for that.

Neverunderfed · 20/12/2018 11:10

They really don't expect you to go. I'm sure they wouldn't mind, but they don't know you.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 20/12/2018 11:13

Don't go! It's perfectly reasonable to say you can't afford that much at short notice near Christmas but you'll look forward to next year's and if they're nice they won't be offended in the slightest

If they're a social team there will be plenty of outings and drinks etc throughout the year for you to get to know them then you'll have a much better time on the trip next year when you're all friends

Ariela · 20/12/2018 11:33

I'd say you'll have to give it a miss as the cost is now so great you can't afford it, but say you'd love to meet them all before you start, and would they be up for a post Christmas evening out ?

Branleuse · 20/12/2018 11:37

just say it sounds awesome, but you wont be able to make it this year, but hopefully by next year youll have had more time to save

melj1213 · 20/12/2018 11:52

"Sounds like a fun trip and thanks for the invite but at such short notice it's just not in my budget, especially at this time of year. Let me know when you start planning next year's trip though!"

I would definitely swerve the trip this year - a couple of weeks into the job is when you need to be getting to grips with everything, and getting a handle on the role.

By avoiding the trip you are getting extra time in the office without everyone around so you can settle into the job and get used to where everything is. It also means you can get to know the people who are still in the office when theres a smaller group of people.

Original poster

ConkerGame · 20/12/2018 11:53

Thanks everyone. I was worried it would come across badly not to join in with something social so soon after joining, especially as I feel it’s been really nice of them to invite me when they don’t know me. But you’ve all given me a bit more confidence to turn it down based on cost.

A few people have also made the very good point that I’d have to be on my best behaviour so wouldn’t really be able to relax during it anyway.

I think my fear of missing out took over and I’d been really excited so it was very disappointing to see the cost. If they’d told me that first then I would’ve known straight away that it was out of the question - it’s just I’d already built it up in my head as an amazing weekend becoming best of friends with everyone!

I’ll make sure to let them know I am very keen normally and it’s just the cost at short notice that is stopping me. I’ve now got a year to save half the price in time for the next trip!

OP posts:

DopeyDazy · 20/12/2018 12:44

you'll know them better too and some you might want to avoid socially

calamitycake · 20/12/2018 16:31

That would be my worst nightmare. Personally I'm of the view that it's not a good idea to socialise with colleagues to that extent anyway. I certainly wouldn't pay that amount of money as I couldn't justify it when it could be spent on things that the whole family would benefit from!

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