To want to help this homeless man?

[chicaguapa]

There's a homeless man who's always sitting in the multi-story carpark, though he has to leave at night when they close it. I've spoken to him a couple of times and tried to treat him with respect. He seems to be in touch with his family as he said he used to busk but someone stole his drums, so he's asked his mum to get him some more for Christmas. He said he can't get a job as he doesn't have an address.

What can I do to help him? I'd like to take him something for Christmas but not sure what I could do. I often think about him and it's been so cold lately at night.

@BifsWif

A lot of homeless people I work with can’t live with family. Overcrowding is a major issue, and the issues that some homeless people have mean that there families can’t have them living with them. They’ve usually tried to help them for years but have been unable to. It doesn’t mean they don’t love them or want to buy them gifts for Christmas, what a strange thing to assume

My point was more the op said the man said he couldn't get a job because he didn't have an address. Could he not use drum buying mums address?

@formerbabe what about the facilities to create and print a cv, be able to get clean and groomed and appropriately dressed for an interview? Where will he go home to every night after work if he even did get the job? Where would he live until he gets paid?

It's really hard getting people out of homelessness but never mind just 'get on with your life' if it affects you so little.

So he has a mum who will buy him a drum kit but won't let him have a shower or sleep on her floor...okkaayyy.

I befriended a dog owning homeless man. I remember giving him £20 last Christmas and plenty of food etc after that. One day his dog had an awful skin condition, told people he needed £28 for the treatment. As I knew his name +ddog's I rang the vet. Yes he had an app but it was free. So he left that poor dog suffering to enable him to keep getting more cash.

I'm surprised a vet would just tell a random person the name of someone who had made an appointment. Unless you were pretending to be someone you weren't. Did you phone and say 'I'm checking up to see if so and so has made an appointment and how much it will cost them'?

Oh and I'm not saying homeless people don't have the problems you described..I'm just saying that the story sounds like bollocks to me.

formerbabe
My point was more the op said the man said he couldn't get a job because he didn't have an address. Could he not use drum buying mums address?

Maybe it would affect mum's benefit claims or terms of her housing arrangement.

@formerbabe stop mistaking your ignorance about homelessness for insight.

Not all homeless people are totally without friends or family. Not all homeless people are homeless because they literally have nowhere else to go. Many do have friends and relatives who they are in contact with. That doesn’t mean they’re choosing to be homeless for the fun of it.

Lots of factors can combine to cause homelessness, including but not limited to:

Mental ill health (depression, ptsd, bipolar, schizophrenia etc)
Physical illness
Disability
Learning difficulties
Addiction
Abuse
Financial breakdown

Many homeless people struggle with literacy, and with feelings of shame and inadequacy. Many feel they aren’t ‘worth’ a stable home, even if one becomes available. Many know how to live rough but lack the required skills to have a home (bill-paying, obtaining benefits, working etc).

Homeless people may have family members who love them but can’t house them for their own reasons, such as illness.

It’s not as simple as you’re pretending it is.

I find this notion that people who don’t want to hand over random amounts of cash are somehow uncaring arseholes who would never do anything decent for anyone else ever bizarre. It’s virtue signalling at its best.

I also find this idea that people don’t care if someone buys drugs with their money absolutely horrifying. Honestly you see more outrage on mn if people buy a puppy from gumtree because they’re considered to be funding the puppy farming trade than if someone gives money to someone and thus helps fund the drugs trade.

But don’t smugly hand over a sandwich when you don’t know 1) dietary information 2) allergies 3) preferences 4) whether they’ve eaten that day 5) whether they need money for a hostel rather than food 6) whether they will be eating for free at a soup kitchen that night but need money for tampons or a shower or whatever 7) a million other possible things.

This!

£5 vouchers for Gregg's. C'mon. It's just virtue signalling in the extreme. Why not a DD to a homeless charity that can actually do something to help?

I don't give money to strangers, that doesn't make one a bad person, but nor do I buy random food they might not want and expect them to be grateful.

The problem I'd have with handing them money is that I don't want to be the one who contributed to their last overdose or over-drink to death binge. But it's one's money to do as she/he pleases.

Dont even engage with people like formerbabe, they need things like this to reinforce their tabloid image of 'do-gooders' so they can keep voting in tories with disgusting views of the vulnerable. Its also why violence against the homless is massively rising. You're a huge part of this problem formerbabe.

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/dec/15/people-are-dragged-out-of-tents-attacks-on-homeless-soar-up-to-30-percent

I think a big problem now is connected to social media. Everybody wanting to be seen in public acting saintly, self congratulatory posts about buying someone food complete with selfies. As somebody said further up, ideas like giving these people jobs and houses are so misguided and purely meant to help themselves feel good, then when it blows up in their face its the homeless who get blamed and the daily mail article.

Donate, help quietly and expect nothing in return, not even a thanks. Life isnt a christmas film.

As somebody said further up, ideas like giving these people jobs and houses are so misguided and purely meant to help themselves feel good, then when it blows up in their face its the homeless who get blamed and the daily mail article.

Exactly!

The best thing you can do is report him and let him get help from professionals. Maybe buy him a blanket or sleeping bag.
Whilst it's nice to chat and listen unfortunately you can't guarantee an individual is truthful.
My dd was most upset to see the homeless man she knew and liked so much mugging dying victims during The Arena attack.

Pachyderm1 I agree with you ... I work in a city and there are many homeless .. people buy them food without even asking what they want ... take out old curled up work buffets and expect them to be super grateful !! ... I don't think their problems are going to be solved with a left over sausage roll .. it's way more complex and without mental health support or rehab ( which has a big failure rate even if it was available) . I'd rather bung them a non judgemental couple of quid now and again . ... worst of all are the people who take them a sandwich and boast about it on Facebook

Dont even engage with people like formerbabe, they need things like this to reinforce their tabloid image of 'do-gooders' so they can keep voting in tories with disgusting views of the vulnerable. Its also why violence against the homless is massively rising. You're a huge part of this problem formerbabe.

@Patroclus

Are you implying I approve of violence?

I most certainly do not.

How dare you

I believe in minding my own business and not involving myself in other people's complex lives.

formerbabe, when they were clearing Windsor for the Wedding, a local paper went out to see how many were genuine.

One Women, who was, was partly financially helped, by her Mother, in Supported accommodation and another relative in a strict house share.

With benefit/tenancy rules what they are, you can't just take in a relative, even if you have space.

There's a genuine homeless Man who sits outside my local Aldi. He has an egg allergy, so buying food is pointless. I pick him bits up, but I also give him money. It means he can get hit fiid before he sleeps on the top stairwell of local flats.

The Aldi and surrounding shops let him use the toilet. They give him warm drinks and water/lemonade over Summer. Instead of Secret Santa, they bought him a good waterproof winter coat.

Someone handed him a big rucksack with Christmas wrapped base layers in, the other day. One Woman offered him a bottle of Whiskey, but he genuinely doesn't drink. How he doesn't, I don't know because I can't camp without a drink inside me.

He's fell through the gaps and has no Family. He can't prove enough connection to our City to be given more help beyond a bed in our drug/MH filled, dreadful Hostel. If anyone knows Liverpool it's the one by the old bus station. The Women from the hostel work that area as prostitutes. The Men rob who they can. He describes them as "hunting in packs".

Just ask yourself if you would want to live on pasties or sandwiches.

Out of everyone I see buying alcohol, the homeless are the ones who can justify a drink.

But that's if you know someone is genuine.

And yes, I do consider a random member of the public walking past homeless people and thinking they can change their life with a sandwich and the suggestion of applying for a job to be the epitome of being a do gooder.

Slightly off topic but I saw this on social media a while ago, I thought it was a good idea

There used to be a guy that lived under a bridge near us (anyone in the area will probably remember him). It was totally his choice, he was happy and set up a proper camp. For 15+ years various people used to take him Christmas dinner (other days too, he was quite well known). If anyone got a new bed they used to drop the old mattress down to him.

It's another thing for someone to carry around, champagne. More patronising guff. I don't like carrying a handbag, why would I assume a homeless person does? What if she doesn't have a period anymore or has LARC in place that stops it?

Those who are saying “who am I to judge if they do drugs” - that advice isn’t out of some catsbum snobbishness about drugs - it’s because, especially at this time of year, drink and drugs won’t necessarily ‘get them through the night’ - if they pass out before getting somewhere warm they could die of exposure.

How do homeless people get somewhere warm?

Wrapping up in coats, sleeping bags; finding somewhere more sheltered out of the rain/wind (underpass, stairwells etc).

The police in our local town confiscate sleeping bags. They’re moved on from doorways and underpasses. Coats are usually soaking wet because there’s nowhere to dry out and they only have one, if at all. Their belongings get stolen, pissed on and worse.

I’m not trying to be argumentative but I see this day in, day out in my job. Not one person says they don’t want homeless people to take drugs because they may die of exposure. It is pearl clutching, and it is judgemental. Homeless people are dying of exposure year after year, very few people give a shit.