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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sons dad is having Santa on Xmas eve

79 replies

Hariboqueen1 · 20/12/2018 09:14

I’m actually hoping someone will say it doesn’t matter and I’m being ridiculous. So basically my son is staying at his dads the day before Xmas eve and he told me yesterday that he is telling my son that Santa is coming early and on Christmas Eve. So on Christmas Eve Eve my son is putting out carrots mince pies etc and on Christmas Eve morning Santa is leaving a stocking and presents under the tree. So basically everything that happens on Christmas Day. I’m really annoyed about it and I think it’s selfish as my son is having a Christmas morning on Christmas Day he doesn’t need two, his dad is only doing it as he wants to experience the whole thing. I think this will confuse my son and just make it so unbelievable he’s only 5. Why would he get two stockings? He’s literally going to have so many presents from santa. Why can’t he just say the presents are from him. I think it takes away the magic of Christmas morning, the excitement that Santa has been as of course he’s been as he came the day before. If he told me this weeks ago I would have tried to persuade my son to stay there Christmas night as I just think it’s werid to have two santa visits. What does everyone else think? Would you be annoyed?

OP posts:
SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 20/12/2018 11:05

I think this will confuse my son and just make it so unbelievable he’s only 5

Because Santa is such an eminently plausible phenomenon under normal circumstances? 😂

Pachyderm1 · 20/12/2018 11:09

I think it’s a lovely idea - your son gets to experience that magic with both his parents.

It won’t mean any less to him on Christmas Day when he does it with you OP Flowers

Menolly · 20/12/2018 11:17

Santa often visits both homes when parents are separated. When we have show and tell after Christmas lots of children have told me Santa came early or late to one house or has left half their presents at each house. Just means DS gets 2 Christmas days, which when you are 5 is exciting!

Screaminginsidemeagain · 20/12/2018 11:38

YABU
Sorry but unless your child is at risk of physical or mental harm you have no day over what happens during contact with NRP.
Your child has a parent who wants to experience Christmas with them. Unless you are willing to play happy family’s and do a joint Christmas you would be petty and mean be anything other than happy for your child to have two Christmases

melj1213 · 20/12/2018 11:40

I don't see why he can't have two christmases - it's one of the few perks of divorced parents.

My DD was born in Spain where Christmas is a smaller celebration with a few small presents and the big celebration in January 6th when the three kings bring the big presents.

Since her dad and I broke up we have split it so one of us gets December 25th and the other gets January 6th and we alternate each year. That way DD gets two christmases and neither of us misses out on the whole Christmas morning excitement.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 20/12/2018 11:43

He'll feel extra special having Santa twice

bakingcupcakes · 20/12/2018 11:45

My son's cousin thinks my son is deprived because Santa only visits once on Christmas day. He visits her Dad's Christmas day and her Mum's Boxing day. It's been like that since she was 2 so she thinks that we're really unlucky to only get one visit. I don't think it'll spoil the magic at all. They only believe for a few years anyway so it's nice for both parents to enjoy it.

poppoppop100 · 20/12/2018 11:49

just make it so unbelievable

^ this made me laugh

You sound a bit spiteful not wanting your ex to have the fun with your ds.

Tartsamazeballs · 20/12/2018 11:53

Wind your neck in, it's literally the only benefit of having your parents split up. Wait til they're in school and can tell their friends that Santa came twice, my friend used to make me well jell lol 😂

Augusta2012 · 20/12/2018 11:57

You could make a story up to cover it? Say Santa has taken on some new reindeer so he needs to bring them on a practice dry run the day before the big day, and that he’s a very lucky boy because Santa has chosen him for the dry run which means he’ll get two Cristmasses this year.

Qasd · 20/12/2018 12:04

Aww i think it’s lovely and your definitely over thinking any issues! No child is going to be upset by extra visits from Santa he will have a great time having two Christmases I am sure

Greggers2017 · 20/12/2018 12:07

My kids always have two Christmas days. He's coming to my house on Saturday this year. They go to their dads on 23/12.

Alwaysgreener · 20/12/2018 12:21

I really think it's a positive thing. Embrace it. My father left us as young children and never made any effort so I think it's great your ex cares enough to want to do this. I mean its all a bit of a farce anyway isn't it?! Enjoy it all, in whichever way works best for all of you. Sure your DS will have a ball and probably sleep all day on Boxing Day!

PlaymobilPirate · 20/12/2018 12:29

This is what happens when families split. Next year if your ds is at his dad's for Xmas day I'm sure you'll want to do the same

Quickerthanavicar · 20/12/2018 12:32

I think it's rather nice.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 20/12/2018 12:40

The only person who sounds selfish is you. This is what happens when parents aren't together, kids get Christmas x 2. It's sadly quite normal.

I think you're really just annoyed that he's "ruining" the perfect Christmas you had planned for your son and you want to be the only one giving him that experience. Trying to dress it up as something else, i.e. "it ruins the magic and makes it less believable doing it twice" is a thinly veiled excuse for what is just selfishness.

thingersandfumbs · 20/12/2018 13:00

My boys were very small when I split with their dad. They've always had two Christmas days and they love it. Embrace the magic!

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 20/12/2018 14:56

I don't see the issue? He's missing out on those things when it is Christmas so why can't he do them during his time also?

You sound like someone just looking for a reason to be angry at your ex

puzzledlady · 20/12/2018 15:00

Of course yabu. And being very mean. Swap days with your ex then - perhaps you’ll find something to do with your son on eve.

UnleashTheBulsara · 20/12/2018 15:05

To be fair to OP, she has admitted she was BU (kind of) worrying over nothing and been quite gracious about it

eightoclock · 20/12/2018 15:06

I think it's good to spread it out a bit otherwise there can be so much expectation and then anti climax that it can be difficult for young children to deal with. We used to have extra christmasses due to visiting grandparents and I was very disappointed when that stopped when we got older!

SilverLining10 · 20/12/2018 15:06

Fgs dont be ridiculous and spoil something great that his dad wants to do for him just so that you come out trumps. You seem to have lost sight of what's really important- his dad trying to make it special for his ds.
Dont be so selfish, just keep quiet and don't ruin it for them.

Original poster
Hariboqueen1 · 20/12/2018 15:49

Thank you for all your responses you’ve made me feel loads better! No to be honest I didn’t mind his dad having him Christmas morning he didn’t ask for it as he has party to go to so couldn’t have him. Next year when he stays at his dads Christmas I’ll happily hand over all his presents to his dad so he can have a magical Christmas morning at his dads. I don’t worry about him having more there then here that wasn’t the problem I just wanted him to have the perfect original Christmas. My son used to really dislike going to his dads and we’re finally at the stage where he likes going and that in itself was my dream come true. I love the fact he has two families and more people to love him. But anyway sounds like it works for a lot of people so 🤞

OP posts:
Original poster
Hariboqueen1 · 20/12/2018 15:51

And I’m not being selfish if his dad wanted to have him this year he could have. I wouldn’t have done a second Christmas though I would just have given his dad his presents.

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 20/12/2018 16:07

It really sounds like you are just jealous that he is taking the shine away from your Christmas morning.

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