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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sons dad is having Santa on Xmas eve

79 replies

Hariboqueen1 · 20/12/2018 09:14

I’m actually hoping someone will say it doesn’t matter and I’m being ridiculous. So basically my son is staying at his dads the day before Xmas eve and he told me yesterday that he is telling my son that Santa is coming early and on Christmas Eve. So on Christmas Eve Eve my son is putting out carrots mince pies etc and on Christmas Eve morning Santa is leaving a stocking and presents under the tree. So basically everything that happens on Christmas Day. I’m really annoyed about it and I think it’s selfish as my son is having a Christmas morning on Christmas Day he doesn’t need two, his dad is only doing it as he wants to experience the whole thing. I think this will confuse my son and just make it so unbelievable he’s only 5. Why would he get two stockings? He’s literally going to have so many presents from santa. Why can’t he just say the presents are from him. I think it takes away the magic of Christmas morning, the excitement that Santa has been as of course he’s been as he came the day before. If he told me this weeks ago I would have tried to persuade my son to stay there Christmas night as I just think it’s werid to have two santa visits. What does everyone else think? Would you be annoyed?

OP posts:
nevisbump · 20/12/2018 09:28

We do this for my dsd, it was her mum who started it. And now we have ds and dd, Santa will bring them a small present too to open on Christmas Eve morning so they aren't left out. It's nice we all get to have the magic of Christmas

Kolo · 20/12/2018 09:29

There’s so many different ‘rules’ about Santa, everyone does it differently, so I don’t think it will spoil anything. My kids have 2 Santa’s visit them because my Husband is from a country where they celebrate on 24th. So we have the foreign Santa visit on 24th daytime and U.K. Santa on 25th. They’ve never questioned it and they believe they’re very lucky and special in getting visits from 2 Santas.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/12/2018 09:30

Simple answer, tell DS that as Santa came a day early for him at Dad's he doesn't need to put anything out Xmas Eve. He's already done it once, you agree he doesn't need to experience it twice so that solves the problem.

MrWolfknowsthetime · 20/12/2018 09:30

Let DS stay with his dad on Christmas Eve then Santa will arrive on the right morning. Nonproblem solved.

Calvinsmam · 20/12/2018 09:31

This is totally fine.

We have two christmases too.

Generalist · 20/12/2018 09:32

We did this with DSD. She's too old for Santa now, while DC2 & 3 are in the full throes of believing. But we still do double Santa for when she comes to us - it's the nicer thing to do, more in the spirit of things. I think she eventually worked it out from friends at school, not because he came twice.

MrsJayy · 20/12/2018 09:32

I just came back to say what Kolo said you can tell 5 year olds anything you like about Santa make your own rules to fit.

Surfskatefamily · 20/12/2018 09:37

Its a lovely idea. Dad shouldnt have to miss out on this experience. Your son will love it

starryeyedsnowgirl · 20/12/2018 09:41

My parents divorced when I was very young and I saw two birthdays and two Christmas' as a perk! There weren't many things in divorced family life that were "better" than my other friends so it was nice to have this.

gamerwidow · 20/12/2018 09:41

No child is ever going to be sad about 2 santa visits and loads of presents. Your day will still be special and I guarantee he will be just as excited.

agnurse · 20/12/2018 09:46

I don't see a problem here either.

Your son is getting a Christmas experience with his dad and another with you. This is likely something that's common in families where the parents are not together.

You also can't dictate what your ex does and does not do on his own time, as long as he is not abusing your son. Having Santa come a day early is hardly abuse. I think your son's father is to be applauded for making an effort.

theWarOnPeace · 20/12/2018 09:47

As requested - you’re being ridiculous! Santa is wholly unbelievable anyway, and yet children still have that lovely innocence to believe and get drawn into the magic. X2 Santa visits aren’t going to mess with a 5yo’s belief in him. I’d just say he comes out twice for all the lovely children that are lucky enough to have x2 families. So not only does he then still believe, but feels extra special with it.

Jamiefraserskilt · 20/12/2018 09:51

Kids love multiple christmasses. Nothing to worry about there.

RangeRider · 20/12/2018 09:54

Surely if you don't want 2 Santa visits you can cancel yours? Say that because he came early he doesn't come again. And all the presents that he would have had from Santa at yours are now from him, exactly as you're expecting him to do.

agirlhasnonameX · 20/12/2018 09:57

I understand why you feel like that, but same as your ex, you just want to enjoy the excitement and magic of Santa too. It will be double fun for your son, not taking away anything. He is a lucky boy I think and will be even more exciting having Christmas X2.
If it was me I'd probably tell him Santa came to him early because he'd been so good, but maybe he will leave a little extra thing on Xmas morning too, then he will still have the surprise of having all his gifts.

BellsAreRinging1 · 20/12/2018 09:57

I just think this will ramp up the excitement even more! You can also comment on how good he is at doing all the preparations because he has done them the night before, he is an expert! I think it's lovely that ex is stepping up to have a special day with him so take comfort in that, he loves your son. As my ex and DH got on really well, at that age my ex used to sleepover on Xmas eve then leave at lunchtime to go for lunch with his parents, siblings, girlfriends etc.

wishingyouluck · 20/12/2018 10:45

We have done this for years. Trust me they still get excited for all of it! Grin

NoLeslie · 20/12/2018 10:48

I think it's lovely. Plus FC can leave a letter saying how great it is to see him again!!

Ellisandra · 20/12/2018 10:49

Santa does a double drop here - presents in both houses, my kids start with presents at my house, then at 12:00 they go to dad’s and get to see what was left there. Sometimes duplicates - buy hey, Santa knows some things are cool to have in both houses!

It’s really not confusing at all, just tell him.

And I don’t think your ex is unreasonable if his only reason is so that he gets to experience it. Why not?!!

Munchkingoat · 20/12/2018 10:52

My kids are 13 and 17 and santa has been visiting two houses for 12 years since my exh left! 🤣

LEELULUMPKIN · 20/12/2018 10:54

Just imagining what I would have thought of this as a kid? Absolutely fantastic that's what! As PP's have said, it is nice that his Dad cares enough to do it. I wish my ex BIL would put a fraction of that effort in with my DNephew's. Merry Christmas :)

Cath2907 · 20/12/2018 10:58

YABU - I wish my STBXH was doing as well for our DD. I actually had to buy most of the things he is giving to her to make sure she gets a lovely fun pile of stuff.

Gravel1 · 20/12/2018 10:58

Its simple split christmas you have him this year dad next.Or as I do Xmas eve with mum and xmas morning xmas lunch at mine and boxing day. We could swop the sequence but it works so we leave it. Two homes means two santas thats obvious. Why wouldn't santa visit day unless he's been a bad boy !

Gravel1 · 20/12/2018 10:59

day - dad

jessstan2 · 20/12/2018 11:01

I don't think it matters, it's all fantasy anyway.