Partner says dog is more of a priority than me right now.

[ihatehoney]

Overview- me, struggling with depression and anxiety after coming off of my medicine (which he told me was the best thing to do for myself!). Border lining becoming suicidal, in tears every night which he will ignore if he see's.

Dog, 2 weeks post op from having his bits snipped. Has to be carried and less walking than usual (on vets recommendation as he had a hard 1st weeks recovery. Partner waits on him hand and foot.

For the record- I love the dog, he's mine too and I've looked after him and comforted him during the night when he's been crying or having nightmares since the op.

Spoke to boyfriend tonight- he says he does listen- but couldn't tell me anything that was going on with me atm (that I'd cried about literally this afternoon). His solution was to 'google it, I'm sure there are other people that know how you feel'.

Maybe I just want my boyfriend to give me a hug and be bit nicer towards me atm?! Not google anything. For the record, I'm so supportive with his work and listen as he bangs on about it constantly- I'm always offering ideas or a hug/back massage in the evening to relieve some of his stress.

It's Christmas next week and I'm looking forward to the night alone in our flat when he takes the dog to stay overnight at his parents- dreading having to go to theirs on boxing day as his siblings hate me and none of them- including his parents, talk to me when there's other people in the room. 👍🏻

Good luck honey

I hope the new meds work for you, the side effects aren't too bad and you start feeling better soon.

@FaithFrank Thank you so much x

Best of luck OP.

Pregabalin?

I didn’t know that it could be prescribed for mental health symptoms, although it’s one of those drugs that’s used for a range of things so I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me!

I take it for nerve pain. And it was originally lisensed for epilepsy.

The sleepiness wears off quickly I found, so please don’t worry too much about that!

It’s the dry mouth that bothers me most, so I do drink more water (which is probably not a bad thing!) as I always have a bottle to hand to take little sips from. It’s very noticeable when I go up or take an extra dose, and it does calm down to something I mostly can ignore as long as I have a bottle of warer to hand...

Good luck OP, I hope you feel a bit better soon.

I love him but the age difference concerns his family I think hence the rudeness

I will be honest with you. If you were my 20 yo DD then this age difference would concern me too. Whether or not this would result in me being "rude" would depend on the man and how he treated my DD. But from the things you have said I would feel very cool towards him.

Please don’t take what I say disrespectfully but it comes based on a few more years of experience but this is what I suggest you do. Take two weeks to yourself. Spend it with your mum or friends (especially if you have friends who live somewhere fun) just whileyou deal with inevitable side effects of new meds. See in Christmas and new year with people who are thrilled to have you there. Take the pressure off your relationship a bit. And then at the end of the two weeks reevaluate how you feel about everything.

Were there any other reasons he mentioned for why he wanted you off the pills?

For example, my abusive ex would say in a very calm way, that I had him now, so what did I have to be down about.

It was one of many things he did to try and control me. Also, he did say early on that he probably wouldn't be able to support me with my mental health because he had to support his mother (who he didn't support and was rude to, as she lay dying) and yes, I should have seen the red flag but I was at the end of a serious mental breakdown and didn't see it.

I'd worry it was a control issue purely based on other things you've said about him.

I wish that when I had left him the first time, before I was pregnant with his child, that I had stayed gone. I went back because he begged and begged. I left twice more after that - into a refuge when DC7 was three months old, and then to my parents when she was nearly one.

I needed and still need the medication I was on. Not all medicine is needed by all people indefinitely. And you should be fine on the pregabalin (I used to take it to help with my fms). Avoid mirtazipine if you have issues with things which make you drowsy.

He doesn't sound like the 'one' for you. But it's up to you to evaluate that. For the time being, if you can get yourself some time staying with a friend or family member while you can concentrate on you only, that would be good. It would also give you time to evaluate things and to also see if without prompting, he bothers asking after you or not.

I'd seriously take your normal dose (hope you didn't bin your meds) until you can get emergency appt. If you are anything like me, when I've tried coming off mine very gradually, the usual spiral down is quick & brutal. (Why put yourself thru it if it happens each time is my take). Citalopram can make you gain weight, but Sertraline has proved best for me. Maybe that's the way forward then give it another go after you feel OK. Your partner sounds unsupportive. When you are well please look at educating him on depression & how he can be there for you. A supportive partner would be open to that. If he's not, that tells you all you need to know.

@CSIblonde thanks for the info- if you read my previous posts you'd see I came off them following a plan from the doctor. Didn't do it suddenly.

Also got prescribed a new anxiety medication today. :) meds don't make you gain weight- they make you hungry sometimes, which can lead to weight gain. I just watch what I eat. 👍🏻

@5foot5 my parents really like him, they also don't know about any problems we have as I don't talk to them about him. :) You sound like a lovely, protective mother though! 💐x

@WellThisIsShit Hi! That's great to hear from someone who actually takes it :) Yeah- I actually do have epilepsy anyway but take leviteracetam (sp?) for that. On the NHS site it says it can also be used for generalised anxiety and low mood.

Maybe being thirsty will be good for me! I definitely don't drink enough water😁