Possible discrimination at work - AIBU?

[MrPostman]

I work in a school as a teacher. Posh xmas do involves all staff being put up in hotel over night as well as all the booze, food, fanfare etc I cannot attend do as i have small children.

1. No gift/gift voucher arrives in lieu of my attendance
2. No xmas bonus at all
3. All staff not attending are expected to do chores around the school and stay later than those attending the party (just 2 of us)
4. Jobs included, but not limited to: painting walls, tidying office, sorting every other teachers room out
5. With one working day left from now until when i start in Jan 2019 i must still plan, mark and do various admin work us teachers do.

(This is not a post about pitying teachers it can be applicable across all sectors)

My quarrel is, should me and my non-party-attending colleague have been given something as a thank you for all our hard work as all other employees get a party? And, is the expectation for us to work for longer as a result of our non attendance fair?

Any stories of unfairness like this seen? Please share!!

They certainly shouldn't be giving you odd jobs to do. Either knock off when the rest do or do the work you want/need to do.

This is bonkers - in no way is it discrimination. If you hadn't been invited to the party, however, would have been a different matter.

So since you declined to attend their party you decided to have a pity party on here

There are two separate issues here. No you are not being discriminated against for not going to the party. But having to do odd jobs and stay later in the day of the patry? That’s simply absurd and you would be a real doormat if you do this!

Also, I have to ask - is it normal for teachers to get a Christmas bonus? Did your colleagues get one?

Yes its discrimination against parents and carers, child minders don't work overnight at a moments notice, and the people who can't go shouldn't have to work.

Phone ACAS for clarification.

It is not discrimination that someone can't go to a party.

Wow. I’m similarly not going to our party tonight, and will be working while everyone else leaves early.

I was just feeling grateful that I’ll have quiet time and can bag an early night

No not discrimination. They are not stopping you going to the party.

I’m not usually a fan of a race to the bottom... but.

To label this as even “possible” discrimination is an insult to the many people struggling with genuine discrimination in the work place.

Never mind the masses of people who work year after year without expectation of bonuses, or parties.

It must be a rosy world you live in.

They should not be asking you to do extra jobs around the school. Or is this what happens every year? Has it kind of been agreed in years past?

It definitely not discrimination. And it's ridiculous that you are even suggesting it.

No one is obliged to get a cash equivalent if they can't go to the Christmas party. Or choose not to attend.

You are being ridiculous and hope you never face actual discrimination.

Yes its discrimination against parents and carers

UpstartCrow Incorrect. It is not discrimination as none of the nine protected characteristics are applicable here.

Phone ACAS for clarification

Definitely! They could probably do with a laugh 🙄

LOL that basically no one has shared any stories of unfairness, as requested, because they’re all too at the level of unreasonableness

I’m sure the OP wouldn’t have to stay over if she didn’t want to, and it doesn’t sound like this is at a moments notice either.

I can see why employers often don’t bother to do anything nice for their staff sometimes. They are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Always somebody waiting to moan about any perceived slight.

As I mentioned up thread, we get to finish early for our Christmas party (4pm) - because we are city centre based and traffic is a nightmare to get home and back for the start time. The ones that don’t go, moan. The ones that finish at 5pm usually moan that the ones that finish at 5.30pm get a better deal than them. It really grinds my gears! 🙄

It is not discrimination against parents

company has chosen to arrange a Christmas do she/he cannot attend what like purposefully?!
Having the Shirley task of arranging this year's Christmas party, never again!! Can you imagine trying to arrange something ideal for EVERYONE?! Date/venue/etc.
If it was a genuine discrimination issue absolutely contact someone for advice, this..no!

Shitty not Shirley!

”LOL that basically no one has shared any stories of unfairness, as requested, because they’re all too shock at the level of unreasonableness”

Article’s going to be a bit thin, eh?!

Phone ACAS???

That did actually make me laugh out loud!!!

Oh WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue, Your lack of empathy is darn right frightening to see on what is meant to be a forum for caring mothers!
I don't think she was given much of a choice, poor thing! If I had invited you to this riveting conversation KNOWING you did not have an internet connection, could we really say that you had much of a choice in your decision not to participate?

As for the nine characteristics of discrimination, I thought we were talking about the discrimination from a moral point of view. If I wanted legal conversation I would be conversing on the Judge Judy forum! But to sate your requirement for such legal premise without getting too randy...
MrPostman, could indeed argue an "indirect Sex discrimination" according to citizensadvice.org which goes on to say:
"particularly disadvantages women, as they're more likely than men to care for their children. For indirect discrimination to be made out, you also have to show that you’re personally disadvantaged by your employer’s refusal, for example, because you can’t find affordable childcare".

Not knowing the full background on this awful situation, we could easily argue that poor MrPostman could not find affordable childcare thus satisfying one of those characteristics?
My Hubby may be useless at housework, but he did do a little bit of law study way back when, so I've been picking his brain instead LOL!

Having a Christmas party isn’t indirect discrimination against women, for crying out loud. I think your ‘Hubby’ needs to stick to practising his housework skills Margret.

Margret001 Don’t be so silly. A Christmas party is put on for when the majority can attend and the OP’s bosses probably have absolutely no idea she is unable or unwilling to get childcare for that particular day.

It’s impossible to pick a time when everyone will be able to attend, because when you have a lot of staff, everyone has different commitments. Have you ever tried to organise an event?!

If Jimmy couldn’t attend because he was cat sitting or Olivia was unable to go because she was caring for her mother, would you think they had been left out due to discrimination too? (If your a answer is yes, you’re even more ridiculous than I thought.)

OP chose to have children, and as much as love our children, they do take up a lot of our time and can get in the way of things we want to do. Such is life. She has the option of getting childcare, paid or family, if she wishes. She is choosing not to.

Your 'hubby' is quite simply wrong Margaret.

This this hasn’t provided me with many a laugh today - I sincerely hope somebody called ACAS to check

Margaret - the bit you’ve copied from CAB appears to relate to flexible working requests - not the OP being unable to attend the annual Christmas party (clearly not the same thing).

The paid for party at my workplace has always been on a use it or lose it basis.

You don't make it clear whether you're being asked to work your normal hours, while others finish earlier, or stay later than normal hours - if the latter, that isn't fair.

Being asked to work your normal hours is reasonable. The party is a work event - they won't want to say that the choice is between the party or an early finish, because likely the majority would prefer to slope off early and miss the party - then there'd be no party - which, as others have said, is a quasi-team-bonding event.