Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my daughter shouldn't spend money on Fortnite?

60 replies

greenmummylove · 19/12/2018 22:27

Hello! My DD is 12, and is very into Fortnite. She has her own bank card, which she saves all her money onto, meaning she often has around £300 at a time (saved from birthdays and Christmas!) I get her bank statements, and noticed she had spent over £100 on the game! When I questioned her, she said it was her own money, and that she could spend it on what she wanted. AIBU to take her xbox away? She could've spent that on so much! But instead, she spent it on dances on a game she'll forget about in two months. Thanks in advance!! x

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 19/12/2018 22:29

It is her money. You can’t put in in an account which allows her total control over it and then complain when she spends it on something she enjoys.
Switch the account for something you have some control over?

cowfacemonkey · 19/12/2018 22:30

I wouldn’t remove the Xbox but I would restrict her access to that much money in one go. It’s my boys would blow all their money on fortnight given the choice!

Original poster
greenmummylove · 19/12/2018 22:30

Wolfie It isn't as much her spending the money as what she's spent it on that I'm upset about. I did tell her to ask if she was going to use the card, but obviously that rule has been broken!

OP posts:
cloudtree · 19/12/2018 22:32

Mine are not allowed to spend anything on it. Ds2 is constantly moaning that everyone can see he's a "trash newb" because he doesn't have any skins.

EssentialHummus · 19/12/2018 22:32

Just remind her that when it’s gone, it’s gone.

Kolo · 19/12/2018 22:36

Perhaps it’s a valuable life lesson? That you can’t spend money twice? I’ve definitely made a number of spend regrets in my life and I’m sure I’ll do it again.

Wolfiefan · 19/12/2018 22:38

So remove the card. And next time she wants to splash out remind her how much of the money has already gone. TBH £300 is a hell of a lot to a 12 year old. And spending money they haven’t had to earn that’s on a card doesn’t feel like real money.

greyspottedgoose · 19/12/2018 22:41

I didn't realise at that age their bank cards could be used to spend online, that's scary she could do it so easily

WhyAmISoCold · 19/12/2018 22:43

I have to approve any spending my DS does. Set this up so she can't do it. I have let him spend £15 as it's important to kids and a little bit every now and again won't hurt.

brizzledrizzle · 19/12/2018 22:44

My son says you can earn vbucks through playing the game and use those to buy things, I've set the parental controls so he can't spend money on it unless II log on to my account on the laptop and do it. He's asked to spend £20 in ten months.

Damia · 19/12/2018 22:52

My son spends his pocket money on it a fair bit. He is well aware we think it is a waste but I do think it is his money once given to him. If he spent it on snacks and ate the lot it would be just as gone or Pokemon cards he lost interest in after a month or a million other things he could physically buy and waste. Why not something he enjoys like fortnite

airissweet · 19/12/2018 22:54

I think yuh are being a bit unreasonable. Not about the amount (which is a lot)but your discomfort at what she has spent it on.

It mightn’t be what you would spend the money on or even what you want her to spend the money on but I don’t think it’s fair to assume she will have ‘forgotten’ about it in two months either.

She likes the game and presumably she plays it a lot if you know she is ‘very in to Fortnight’. Is it really any more wasteful than buying a top that mightn’t fit her in a year or a board game she might only pay twice? It’s something she likes and brings her pleasure and if in 6 months she agreed it was a waste - well that’s a valuable lesson learned for a relatively small amount.

Maybe it might be more effective to discuss spending limits with her - £5 a month or £50 a year.

It’s a different world with different entertainment options from my childhood and online virtual world purchases do seem wasteful on initia viewing if they are not part of your life experience but I think to just dismiss is shortsighted.

CloserIAm2Fine · 19/12/2018 22:55

I’ve spent real money on online games. I look at it as it’s something that gives me pleasure (I only do it on games I play consistently over a long period of tine). It’s no different from buying trashy magazines, or your DD spending money on plastic tat.

However, £100 is a LOT of money, and I wouldn’t be happy with it. Just like I wouldn’t spend £100 on throw away stuff like magazines. Can you limit her card or her App Store so she can’t spend more than a preagreed amount per month (I’d say £10-£20 max)?

NotANotMan · 19/12/2018 22:56

Don't take away the Xbox Confused
My DS spends his pocket money on fortnite. It's not as much as your DD had but he saves until he has £8 then buys 1000 v bucks. It makes him happy for some reason. I think you should agree with her how much she can spend going forward and not let her spend more of her savings but why would you ban it?

airissweet · 19/12/2018 22:56

Please excuse the spelling mistakes I am typing poorly on my phone. Smile

Mintychoc1 · 19/12/2018 22:58

DS1 is 13 so he gets given money for birthday and Christmas a fair bit. I only allow him to spend a proportion of it on Fortnite/FIFA. Most of the money he gets has come from me, and I’m not having my hard earned cash spent on something so transient and non-tangible.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 19/12/2018 23:02

Dd spends his pocket money on fortnite it's his money and that's what he chooses to do with it.
He used to buy football cards.
Whatever he's spent it on it's still gone.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 19/12/2018 23:11

Why can't she spend it on something she enjoys? Hmm

What else would she buy? If its her money, why can't she do what she likes with it?

Starbitcrazy · 20/12/2018 00:16

Didn't your parents tell you what you wanted was a waste of money when you were her age? I remember my mum always telling me something was tat or whatever but its what made me happy at the time.

Don't take her Xbox away, perhaps set a limit for the game and have a conversation about the value of money. £300 is a lot of money for a 12yo to be responsible for. For example, I had a friend whose parents gave her a contract mobile phone when we were about 14 (this was in the 90s when calls were never free and charged at least about 60p a min) and she let all and sundry use the phone to call whoever they liked, whenever they liked. Her dad went mad, obvs, but the point is, it wouldn't have happened if she wasn't given so much freedom. A PAYG with regular top ups would have done. I don't think a 12yo should be solely responsible for so much.

AutumnColours9 · 20/12/2018 06:24

Yabu. My kids have spent in game money. I don't have a problem with that whatsoever. No harm at all.

Howhot · 20/12/2018 06:27

I think it's fine but I would be monitoring it and setting a limit with her.

usernamenamename · 20/12/2018 06:27

My DS's grandparent has spent hundreds on that game for him 🤦🏻‍♀️ must be over £300 it's crazy cuz it's such a waste of money.

Shoxfordian · 20/12/2018 06:30

I've spent money on online games too
I don't see the harm in it if she enjoys it

CommanderDaisy · 20/12/2018 06:40

I don't think a 12 year old should have access to that kind of money or a bank card.
So since you have given her such leeway with her money, I think you should take back that control Fortnite aside.My 15 year old only got his own bank account and card this year, for a sum of pocket money each month. He keeps larger sums given to him in a separate account with no card access so he can save. He's blown the lot off the card swiftly at first a couple of times - treating friends and buying Steam credit and not been able to do anything for the rest of the month a couple of times . Lesson learned, he doesn't do it any more.
My 12 year old has no access to his bank account because he's 12 and would spend the lot on Fortnite and junk food. I wouldn't expect him to have any kind of a clue at this stage. He gets pocket money and has to save that for Battle passes if he wants them and then gives me the cash for me to put it through on my credit card.

And is your daughters card a debit /credit one? Coz I can't see how she's buying stuff on Fortnite with a standard cash card? Unless she has linked her bank account to it which is dodgy as fuck in the first place, and should be change asap. Epic games is notorious for upgrading accounts, fees and charges without direct permission. It's like direct debit to Fortnite - how did. she set that up?

Why would you take her x-box away? I think this was your mistake not hers.

shiveringtimber · 20/12/2018 06:47

Just mentioned Fortnite to DC (18 & 15). The consensus is negative; "waste of time, overrated, overhyped, a fad that's on its way out."Confused

Swipe left for the next trending thread