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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think my daughter shouldn't spend money on Fortnite?

60 replies

greenmummylove · 19/12/2018 22:27

Hello! My DD is 12, and is very into Fortnite. She has her own bank card, which she saves all her money onto, meaning she often has around £300 at a time (saved from birthdays and Christmas!) I get her bank statements, and noticed she had spent over £100 on the game! When I questioned her, she said it was her own money, and that she could spend it on what she wanted. AIBU to take her xbox away? She could've spent that on so much! But instead, she spent it on dances on a game she'll forget about in two months. Thanks in advance!! x

OP posts:
EdtheBear · 20/12/2018 07:12

Op I'd be peeved too.

My oldest hasn't got into gaming yet. But I'm stunned at the in-game purchasing. Games aren't cheap £50 then add in more money to keep playing WTF!

£300 is a lot for a kid. I'd maybe only allow her half her birthday/ Christmas money and put the rest in a savings account.

TheBigBangRocks · 20/12/2018 07:40

The money was given to her to enjoy instead of a gift so let her enjoy it. It wasn't given with conditions.

Adults waste money all the time on things they enjoy but don't last long, no different.

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 20/12/2018 07:49

What I don't ever get on these threads is why parents get so annoyed about kids spending their money on computer games. It's no different to chucking it at plastic tat, toys, dolls, make up etc etc. All which has the potential t get used up / forgotten about etc etc just as quickly.

Look at it this way £100 wouldn't even buy you 2 brand new XBox one games if she is a gamer. So spending that on something she enjoys and is, presumably, good at isn't that surprising.

I don't 'get' the amount folk spend on the beauty industry with nails, make up, Botox, surgery etc. Not my wheelhouse. To me I would see it as a waste. To others, it makes them happy. They'd think I'm daft spending a fortune on my latest game.

I get she's only 12. But if you've trusted her with her own money then surely it's up to her?

CrimpBrunette · 20/12/2018 07:51

Alot of kids her age are spending their money on booze and fags, it could be worse! I let my DD spend a few quid a month on fortnite. It's a free game so I don't mind too much (plus I play occasionally Grin). Also if she buys the battle pass once she can earn v bucks and dances by playing instead of spending.

OhFlipMama · 20/12/2018 07:54

I let my daughter spend pocket money on it, but we're talking maybe £10 every 4-5 weeks. Unfortunately it seems children are picked on sometimes for having the skin that they begin the game with, the free starter one. That's not why I let her, I've only just learnt about that after hearing children hassle another over it in town. AngryIt's her money and although I like to monitor, it's her choice. Like I say, she doesn't spend loads on it though. £100 I'd be very annoyed I'm afraid but she's had the choice to spend it on what she wanted to.

Hohocabbage · 20/12/2018 08:00

My children have to save half of all money gifts and can choose what to spend the rest on. But they have to ask for each purchase. There is a massive live for Fortnite at the moment among that age group.

Butteredghost · 20/12/2018 08:00

If it's her money I don't see the problem. Yes it seems silly to you. But really, would it be better if she bought snacks, toys, magazines or clothes? At least fortnite purchases won't rot her teeth, have too many calories, or end up in landfill or as micro plastics in the belly of an ocean bird.

The bottom line is, she's spending the money on an enjoyable experience. Isn't that what we all talk about doing now? Moving away from "stuff" and towards "experiences".

If she plays the game to much or constantly annoys you for more money that's a different issue.

ElBandito · 20/12/2018 08:06

You’ve given a 12 year old easy access to £300 and you’ve not locked down the Xbox to prevent her spending. I’m not sure she’s the one at fault here.

chillpizza · 20/12/2018 08:08

Well firstly it’s her money so it’s upto her what she spends it on really.

Secondly it’s your fault she could even spend it anyway you’ve got a 12year old on a Xbox sex up somewhere where she can put in card details etc unnoticed with clearly no parental controls on it.

Bad parenting rather than bad child punish yourself not her.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2018 08:16

Have two accounts. One for saving and one for spending. Then it's up to her what she buys.

masterandmargarita · 20/12/2018 08:22

Fortnite purchases may not 'have too many calories' but she won't be burning many either

sunshineandshowers21 · 20/12/2018 08:28

my 11 year old often spends his money on game cards so that he can buy things on a game. i allow him to do this as it is his money but he knows not to ask for more money for stuff that he could have bought in the real world.

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 20/12/2018 08:28

@masterandmargarita you don't burn many sitting on your arse reading a book either. But I bet people would be happy with kids spending money on those

araiwa · 20/12/2018 08:31

I wonder how many are browsing mn on £500 phones on £50 pcm contracts?

Now thats a waste of money

DogMamma · 20/12/2018 08:33

I HATE THIS GAME!! Dss plays it every fucking day he is asking gor 20 quid v bucks! Because the best skin ever had come out. Once in a while we will give him it if he been particularly good (it's rare) I feel.like a stuck record no because it's a waste, it's x days until Xmas, you did this in school you behaved this way at home , didn't do this chore, haven't tidied room the list goes on and on... when he does his chores (never) he is given pocket money if he choses to save it up and spend that then fair enough, but it be monitors anni wouldn't allow him access to funds through his bank giving him Free reign at 12

chillpizza · 20/12/2018 08:39

I don’t actually understand who’s spending money on it tbh. You buy a battle pass once witch leaves you with left over bucks, you can earn the best skin by being a good player, you also earn enough Vbucks to buy the next seasons pass. Basically those spending a fortune are bad players who can’t earn the skins and dances or the bucks to have a pass again.

Really it’s a pay once and never have to pay again game providing to you can teir up well.

My son has over 4,000 bucks sat on it and we have only ever paid once he gets to teir 100 each season which earns him more than enough vbucks for the next pass and whatever elite skin is that season.

brizzledrizzle · 20/12/2018 08:47

You buy a battle pass once witch leaves you with left over bucks, you can earn the best skin by being a good player, you also earn enough Vbucks to buy the next seasons pass.

That's what my son does.

Notso · 20/12/2018 10:05

YABVU it's not fair to punish your daughter for your own mistake.
If you want to impose restrictions on her spending in the future then consider a different banking method.

BogstandardBelle · 20/12/2018 10:27

YABU giving her complete freedom to spend it - then complaining when she does.

Instead of free access to the whole pot, you could give her pocket money instead ? That way she’ll have to save / manage it, and won’t be able to blow it all at once.

Butteredghost · 20/12/2018 10:56

Fortnite purchases may not 'have too many calories' but she won't be burning many either

Right, but overplaying the game is a separate issue. She could be overplaying the game and not spending a cent on it.

Original poster
greenmummylove · 20/12/2018 10:56

I’m a bit upset at the people saying it’s bad parenting. I didn’t set up her Xbox, her older brother did. I spoke to him and he said he hadn’t realised she could just put her details in and spend the money either. I know she’s spending it on something she enjoys, but I also know my daughter and I know for a fact that this obsession with fortnite won’t last. I trusted her to have her card, since she makes small purchases at a time (a game, new headphones, things like that). In fact, she already came to me regretting spending the money. She plays this game all the time, and won’t spend any time with the family or with her friends, so of course after this I’m now peed off and considering either taking her Xbox away or blocking the internet on it, as I feel this was the final straw. If she’s so obsessed with a game she’ll spend that much real life money on it, I feel like that’s not how my daughter normally acts.

OP posts:
HeathRobinson · 20/12/2018 11:06

Yes, it's £100 of her own saved up money. Would you rather she wastes it on magazines, make up, coffee?

If she can't spend her own money on what she thinks is important, what's the point in her saving?

CookPassBabtridge · 20/12/2018 11:18

I don't understand the issue. It's her money and she's spent it on something she enjoys.

Notso · 20/12/2018 11:25

I’m a bit upset at the people saying it’s bad parenting. I didn’t set up her Xbox, her older brother did.

You are blaming her for your ignorance. You are the parent not her brother. You need to get involved and educate yourself in how her technology works, understand how to limit it etc.
It's naive of you to just assume she will know what to do and do what you consider to be the right thing. She needs you to set clear boundaries in order for her to stick to them. I
She has overspent and that is her lesson and consequence, but you also need to learn from this too.

FuckingYuleLog · 20/12/2018 11:27

She has spent it on what she wanted. Adults treat themselves to things others would consider a waste all the time - alcohol, expensive meals out, taxis when you could walk or get public transport etc.
If she regrets how she spent it when it’s gone then that will be a good life lesson for her to think more carefully about her spending in future. If you restrict it she’ll just be waiting for the day she finally has the freedom to spend on that sort of thing.