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AIBU?

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Original poster

£85k per year

207 replies

pondfresh · 19/12/2018 21:28

In the course of a conversation with my cousin, she disclosed that she earns £85k per year but said she does not consider herself especially well off. She lives in the south east but not London, has young dc. She said she has no problem paying bills etc and they have a family holiday each year but she does not consider that they are wealthy. He earns less than this as he is a teacher. AIBU to wonder how well off someone is actually is on £85k and what would be classed as wealthy.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 20/12/2018 09:23

To clarify, if you have to work for an employer for your main income, and if you lost your job you would need to get another one quickly, you are not wealthy no matter how much you earn

? That’s not really the point of the OP though is it.

£85k makes you much better off than most other people. You’ve got shed loads of income coming in every month.

Nothisispatrick · 20/12/2018 09:26

I don’t consider earning about average to be wealthy though, it is well off. Wealthy is much more than that.

Nothisispatrick · 20/12/2018 09:26

*above average

NationalShiteDay · 20/12/2018 09:28

That's similar to my income. DH on less but good salary.

We live in the north so have small mortgage, work flexibly to reduce childcare fees, would never consider private school, cleaner is a luxury, one old car. Fabulous (expensive) pensions. Cheap holidays.

We're very comfortable and clearly have a higher income than our peers. We don't worry about money, but we don't talk about it outside of the home as I worry that our friends would think differently about us.

It's a very fortunate position to be in and we know it.

We have London relatives who ARE weathly and they treat us like we're poor Hmm

BadLad · 20/12/2018 09:32

That makes no sense. A millionaire can spend all of their money. They’ll still be wealthy!

It did make sense. What you wrote is wrong.

Wealthy means having a lot of money, assets or resources. If you have a lot and then spend it all, you no longer have it. Therefore you are no longer wealthy.

SleepySofa · 20/12/2018 09:33

We earn about 100k between us and I don’t consider us to be rich. We’re comfortable. But I do get that to many people our income would seem enormous!

StrumpersPlunkett · 20/12/2018 09:36

Wealthy is a feeling.
If you live without health complaints you may not feel healthy
If you live with lots of complex issues you may have days you feel healthy whilst still suffering with health issues.

It is all personal perspective
If she doesn’t feel wealthy comparison to those who have more challenging situations won’t change that.

Missillusioned · 20/12/2018 09:42

@Believeitornot the options asked what would be classed as wealthy and what is well off.
An income above the national average without significant debts is well off, but not wealthy, unless there are other assets.

Believeitornot · 20/12/2018 09:42

Read my follow up posts @BadLad

I can see people are imagining a millionaire to have only one pile of money, never adding to it so of course if they spend it all they’ll no longer be wealthy.

That’s so obvious, it’s not worth pointing out and completely distracts from the main argument.

Believeitornot · 20/12/2018 09:44

An income above the national average without significant debts is well off, but not wealthy, unless there are other assets

Having lots of income does make you wealthy. What you chose to do with that wealth is up to you.

Wallywobbles · 20/12/2018 09:45

Wealthy and spending money can be such different things. I am wealthy but currently feeling the pinch - it's been an expensive year. In part because we have bought assets that will enable us to retire hopefully a couple of years early. Our pensions will not be particularly good (mine will be pants, despite always working and 13 weeks maternity leave each time).

Currently said assets need work/time of which we have almost none spare so one is currently not covering its costs, but still needs paying for.

Wealthy is having these choices I think. Being able to retire. It doesn't necessarily meaning splashing the cash. For me wealthy is not the here and now but plans for the future.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 20/12/2018 09:46

It’s similar to what me and dh earn jointly.

We can pay the bills and mortgage, afford to eat what we want (food from Aldi), we can have a family holiday each year and have a decent car. We both pay into pensions but have little in the way of savings (2dc). We can have the odd luxury but nothing regularly or flash.

I think I’d class us as being ok, but certainly not well off

ElonMask · 20/12/2018 09:49

I think people are confusing "wealthy" with "stinking rich". Someone on 85k is, as a matter of fact, relatively wealthy compared to the majority of the country.

DryIce · 20/12/2018 09:50

Wealth to me implies assets, rather than income. I would consider someone who owned multiple valuable assets wealthy, even if their income was low. I earn more than your friend, but I don't own much so I don't consider myself wealthy. Possibly if I stayed in my job or at my income level for another 20 years I would amass enough to be wealthy.

That doesn't mean I consider myself poor or anything, I am very comfortable and don't have too many financial worries.

BadLad · 20/12/2018 09:55

Read my follow up posts @BadLad**

I have, and they show that you continuously misunderstand the meaning of wealthy.

BadLad · 20/12/2018 09:56

Wealth to me implies assets, rather than income. I would consider someone who owned multiple valuable assets wealthy, even if their income was low. I earn more than your friend, but I don't own much so I don't consider myself wealthy. Possibly if I stayed in my job or at my income level for another 20 years I would amass enough to be wealthy.

You are correct.

Gromance02 · 20/12/2018 09:58

I wouldn't consider that to be well off. After tax it would barely cover school fees for 2 children.

irnbruforlife · 20/12/2018 09:59

Of course its fucking wealthy. All this nonsense about their outgoings is just nonsense. If someone was on £1 million a year, but had £980,000 outgoings, no sane person would say they werent wealthy. The same goes for £85k a year. Its not as much as £1 million a year, but compared to the vast majority of everyone else in the country, its wealthy.

Gromance02 · 20/12/2018 10:01

whoknewbeefstew Same here - DH and I earn about £80k between us and are comfortably off but I wouldn't consider ourselves well off. Well off to me is business class flights, top public schools for children etc. That is totally out of our league.

BadLad · 20/12/2018 10:05

Of course its fucking wealthy. All this nonsense about their outgoings is just nonsense. If someone was on £1 million a year, but had £980,000 outgoings, no sane person would say they werent wealthy

Nope. That person is very highly paid, with very high outgoings. They have the potential to be wealthy, as presumably they could cut a huge chunk of those outgoings if they looked at MoneySavingExpert. But if their net worth is £20k, they are not wealthy, unless over the years they have saved those 20ks up, and invested wisely.

babysharkah · 20/12/2018 10:08

It's not wealthy imo, its comfortable but not wealthy.

I think a lot of this is so relevant to location, many of my social group are on way more than that and none of seem particularly wealthy but it is certainly the norm.

EssentialHummus · 20/12/2018 10:08

I think the lived experience is all relative. On paper we look very well off, but I look at friends who have multiple children in private schools, new cars etc and feel poor. Which is ridiculous. I spend a lot of my time trying to just enjoy and be grateful for what I have.

Kazzyhoward · 20/12/2018 10:16

Wealth to me implies assets, rather than income.

But a high income allows you to buy assets if you don't CHOOSE to spend it all!

Kazzyhoward · 20/12/2018 10:17

Well off to me is business class flights, top public schools for children etc.

Which would be possible if you didn't have a huge mortgage, decent cars, etc. It's all a matter of choice.

BadLad · 20/12/2018 10:20

On paper we look very well off, but I look at friends who have multiple children in private schools, new cars etc and feel poor.

Bear in mind that those things represent money that those friends no longer have.

Many millionaires drive cars which, while not old bangers, are certainly not new. Neither do all wealthy people live in huge mansions, although houses can't be compared to cars, as houses tend to go up in value.

You'd probably be surprised if you found out who the millionaires were in your town. Many of them will have become that way through keeping their outgoings way below their income (and I don't mean cutting 10p-off vouchers out of magazines, I mean choosing their cars carefully and not skimping on getting them serviced, to increase the life of the car). They then save and invest the difference between their income and their outgoings. They keep their eyes peeled for other sources of income.

That's not to say that there aren't people living a lifestyle like the Beckhams. But they have nothing to do with a discussion about an 85k per annum salary.