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AIBU?

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Original poster

£85k per year

207 replies

pondfresh · 19/12/2018 21:28

In the course of a conversation with my cousin, she disclosed that she earns £85k per year but said she does not consider herself especially well off. She lives in the south east but not London, has young dc. She said she has no problem paying bills etc and they have a family holiday each year but she does not consider that they are wealthy. He earns less than this as he is a teacher. AIBU to wonder how well off someone is actually is on £85k and what would be classed as wealthy.

OP posts:
Didsomeonesaybunny · 19/12/2018 22:12

It’s all relative I think. I earn a fair bit more than that and it went a long way when I was living in Wales but now live in London, Zone 2 and the cost of living is so much more that I certainly don’t feel wealthy.

It’s all about personal circumstance and as others have said the other person could have debt, high mortgage etc and at the end of the day who cares?

RebeccaCloud9 · 19/12/2018 22:12

@hobbies22 did you post here by accident or are you new to the site? To start a new topic, find the board you want and add a new thread there - this will get you specific advice on your question.

Youmadorwhat · 19/12/2018 22:13

@Believeitornot I completely forgot it was split like that in U.K. 🤣🤣 silly me well then yes her take home pay would be a lot more!!

3WildOnes · 19/12/2018 22:13

WanderingTrolley but do you feel well off?

starzig · 19/12/2018 22:14

Does she live in a more expensive area? Does she keep company with professionals on similar? Many people compare to those around them. So if you live in an area with lots of benefits it would seem loads. If you live in millionaires row then not so much.

Hobbies22 · 19/12/2018 22:14

Sorry brand new and posted by accident ! Have reposted on correct thread

SparklyLeprechaun · 19/12/2018 22:14

@Cherries101 - but being wealthy is not about managing and saving a bit, is it? That's being well off. To me, wealthy is having a full time housekeeper and a nanny, flying first class by default, staying in 5* hotels. And it's nothing to do with how much better off than others you are either.

Believeitornot · 19/12/2018 22:15

People should read unjust rewards by polly Toynbee. It’s an eye opener in terms of how deluded people are about what wealthy means. Rich people tend to mix with people of similar incomes so don’t see themselves as wealthy.

Don’t people believe stats about median incomes etc 🤔🙄

Ta1kinpeace · 19/12/2018 22:16

If those in the top 10% of incomes are arrogant enough to think that hiring a cleaner makes them not wealthy
they deserve the shit storm that Brexit will bring on their heads

Believeitornot · 19/12/2018 22:18

And it's nothing to do with how much better off than others you are either

It’s a lot to do with that.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 19/12/2018 22:18

Certainly comfortable but not wealthy. She'll be paying a lot of tax and possibly childcare fees.

anniehm · 19/12/2018 22:19

You live to your means, on paper they are high earners but if they have a large mortgage nursery/private school fees, a cleaner due to long work hours, buy expensive quick to cook food like meal kits and run decent cars etc it can easily get swallowed up. We have a good salary but never have spare due to music lessons etc you say yes to your kids because you have more money basically

SparklyLeprechaun · 19/12/2018 22:20

I wouldn't worry about the top 10% in the context of Brexit, it's the lower income families that will be hit the hardest.

Pardalis · 19/12/2018 22:21

I don't earn 85 but I do earn around 68 with bonus.
I work in London. I live in the suburbs. Sole earner, rent is high. Maintenance is paid to ex wife of my DP out of my wage. Commuting costs and general day to day living means that we do not have anything over at the end of each month.
I suppose we could if we are very cheaply and enjoyed no treats. But what is life without those small things?
House is big enough so step children are welcome any time they want. Close to a good school and green spaces. Plus the very many free things London has to offer.
Why spend your best years saving and missing out on the small treats that make every day life lovely.
I feel blessed and don't feel bitter about my lack of overseas holidays. 52 weeks better than 2 !!
I am hoping to earn more and be able to add a holiday one day. One that isn't camping! However, I do love a camping holiday

SparklyLeprechaun · 19/12/2018 22:24

And it's nothing to do with how much better off than others you are either

It’s a lot to do with that.*

No, it's really not. That's just relative wealth. It's only to do with what your income buys you.

WingingWonder · 19/12/2018 22:28

85k really doesn’t go far if mortgage is say 1400, childcare costs could easily be same,
So whilstvits a great salary, it wouldn’t leave a lot to actually live on.

TheWiseWomansFear · 19/12/2018 22:29

They're well off, but not wealthy. They shouldn't be struggling in any way but I doubt she buys designer clothes iyswim.

Wealthy to me is £150k a year and very low or no mortgage

SushiMonster · 19/12/2018 22:29

What’s rich?

To drive a super car, be dripping with diamonds and be obscene in your spending?

Or do you mean be able to pay the mortgage on a 3 bed semi, pay for child care, feed and clothe yourself and family in high street stuff, pay into a pension and have some savings, heat your house and have a holiday or two a year.

I’m sure she’s very comfortable. I wouldn’t say she’s rich.

TheWiseWomansFear · 19/12/2018 22:30

Oh and at least 1m in the bank

BackforGood · 19/12/2018 22:30

Thing is you become used to a certain amount of income, the more it goes up the more you adjust your lifestyle. Not saying she isn’t doing well, nor is she mega wealthy. Yes she’s a hell of a lot better off than most people but it’s all relevant isn’t it?

This ^

However, statistically, compared with the population as a whole, (rather than the population of MN Wink) of course she is wealthy.

lboogy · 19/12/2018 22:32

Chiming in to say £85k isn't weather. It's semi comfortable. Wealthy to me is £200k pa and up

lboogy · 19/12/2018 22:34

Wealthy*

unexpectedgifts · 19/12/2018 22:36

I would say it's comfortable. We have similar and with 4 children we still struggle to afford holidays and savings.

Nothisispatrick · 19/12/2018 22:38

That is mine and DPs joint income and we are not wealthy. We’re fine but not wealthy.

We’re buying our own house next year but that’s with help from my parents who are selling their London home. DP is paying back about 1.5k worth of old loans each month plus paying off a credit card, then £1400 rent per month and I am on maternity leave so the monthly pay is dropping each month.

We’re renting and I’m in desperate need of a new car. We have no worries about bill paying and will have a uk holiday next year, but we’re by no means wealthy.

Gimmeesugar · 19/12/2018 22:43

My husband earns a little more than £85k and I earn around £60k. We live in London. We’re definitely comfortable but wouldn’t consider ourselves rolling in it. We have a small house and a 10 year old car for example. However we don’t worry about money day to day and have lovely holidays