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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About Birthday presents

56 replies

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 06:12

I had a birthday recently, a significant one. I don't usually make a big deal on my birthday, I'm usually quite happy to just have a night off from cooking. My OH usually takes the children out to by me a few gifts. This year however, he proudly announces he had done all the giftbuying. I unwrapped a bottle of his favourite wine, a selection of fruit and nut chocolates ( I hate fruity chocolate with a passion) and, to top it off, a large, framed photo of him. Taken using the beauty filter on his phone. My birthday dinner consisted of a scoop of chips from the chippy, and he kindly poured me a glass of "my" birthday wine, before drinking the rest. I declined the chocolate and he's accused me of being fussy and not appreciating him.

I'm completely baffled that the OH would think this acceptable. He does have form for being a wee bit useless at this sort of thing, but I think he's taking the piss, and he thinks I'm behaving like a spoilt princess. Who is out of order here?

OP posts:
woolduvet · 19/12/2018 08:39

Oh I'd buy yourself stuff, but give it him for Xmas. Win win

Gatehouse77 · 19/12/2018 08:56

My DH is absolutely useless on the gift front so we rarely exchange between us but even he wouldn't have been that crap!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/12/2018 09:03

A framed photo of himself. Its not like you don't know what he looks like, is it. Yes we all agree with the statement 'Its the thought that counts but. No "thought" has gone into it. What's the point of buying someone something you know they don't like.
Sorry op, but I have to admit I am laughing trying to imagine your face when you open the present to see a photo of him staring out at youGrin

FortniteIsTheNewCrack · 19/12/2018 09:18

Christ on a bike. A fucking framed photo of himself?! Did he autograph it too Hmm

I'm usually the first to say if people are a bit shit at gift giving but are generally otherwise good eggs, let it go. But this though. I hate to say it but I don't think I could shrug this one off in your shoes - he sounds very self centred and he doesn't respect you as your own person very much, does he?

Let's not even get started on the fucking beauty filter...

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 09:24

That's just it though, a lot of thought went in to it. He spent time, posing, adding filters, enlarging it, getting it framed. I just don't think it was me he was thinking of! And he says I'M the one being unreasonable! And yes, I did honestly think it was a joke, like a proper wind up. I'd be laughing to if I was watching a comedy and this scenario happened!

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 19/12/2018 09:27

Is the photo a joke type one? Is it a humorous gift?

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 09:27

Fortnitels, tbh I think it's the beauty filter thats pushed me over the edge. I could sort of forgive the wine and chocolates (Its not like they're a once a year treat), but the flipping beauty filter?!? This just has me examing the last decade of our relationship and questioning the future!

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7yo7yo · 19/12/2018 09:34

I’d give him all my favourite things for Christmas including clothes in my size.
He’s showing you he thinks he’s worth more than you. That he’s more important and your waaaaaayyy down his list of priorities. What a horrible man.
Today seems to be the Day of the Dickheads on MN.

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 09:35

Martha, I thought it must be, but he looked like a kicked puppy when I asked and has been in a sulk about it ever since, so no, I think he genuinley thought it was an amazing gift for me.

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MarthasGinYard · 19/12/2018 09:38

Blimey can you scribble out the features and post it I need to see it.

I can't actually imagine what I'd do if DP presented me with a framed pic of himself.

Yanbu Op

Do you think he's having some kind of ....issues

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 09:45

Do I think he has some kind of issue? I suspect his "issue", is that he's forgotten that I actually exist as a person other than "wife" or "mother " and he's now deeply disconcerted to realise I'm not going to play nice and put up with things like this!

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PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 09:48

It's not even a small photo, its an enlarged close up of his face! Framed!! WITH A BEAUTY FILTER!!!!

Sorry for shouting. I'm still struggling to comprehend why he thought that was the perfect gift. Also struggling to understand why he then hung it in the hallway so it's the first thing I see when I walk in the door.

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sparklepops123 · 19/12/2018 09:53

Draw comedy glasses and moustache on it

TeaPot496 · 19/12/2018 09:54

Is he always so self-centred?

Those whose husbands are shite at the whole birthday thing, how do you cope with /manage expectations at gift giving times?

Telling him explicitly what you want, perhaps? Or arrange childcare for a meal out together?

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 09:55

Sparklepops, I LOVE that idea! So very tempting

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Junkmail · 19/12/2018 09:59

I think some men are just useless at gift buying. This is why I tell my OH exactly what I want and he doesn’t deviate. I don’t leave it to chance.

Sarahjconnor · 19/12/2018 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShalomJackie · 19/12/2018 10:01

Surely it is a wind up and there is a surprise partythis weekend with your proper present?

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 10:04

No chance, he's away working this weekend, he won't be back till Christmas eve. Just in time to put his feet up and enjoy all the effort I've put in to giving the kids a good Christmas!

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MumW · 19/12/2018 10:05

Hope you'll be sharing your cake with the DCs and not him.

Don't forget to post lots of photos of your cake on FB saying how wonderfully thoughtful and clever your DC are.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 19/12/2018 10:10

It's not even a small photo, its an enlarged close up of his face! Framed!! WITH A BEAUTY FILTER!!!!

This is just bizarre. I literally don't know any men who would do this. Surely if your DH's mates come round and see that picture hanging on the wall they'll relentlessly take the piss out of him!

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 10:14

I think his mate's would do exactly as I did, and assume it's a joke. I've moved it to the spare room for now

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ShalomJackie · 19/12/2018 10:16

I assume you have got him a framed photo of yourself for his Christmas present especially as he thinks its such a fab pressie!

PrincessDoormat18 · 19/12/2018 19:30

He's getting socks!

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