To be suspicious of this?

[Molliecoddles]

Been with my current partner for a few months now (living separately) and they’ve recently told me their ex is coming to stay with them for a few days over Christmas to see the kids.
I know a few people would be a bit at that, but their ex lives hundreds of miles away and I have no reason to not trust them...until they said they couldn’t do “adult stuff” with me over the phone (sorry for the tmi but this is something we do ) as their ex would be in the next room and could overhear.
AIBU to suddenly feel very suspicious?
Also as not to drip feed, if the roles were reversed and I was the ex, I’d just put my headphones in or something...or is that just me?
Am I being taken for a mug? Is it possible they still have feelings for their ex? My head feels so messed up, I haven’t even gone to bed yet

I think YABU. It doesn't matter who the guest is, I wouldn't be doing "adult stuff" over the phone if literally anyone else could hear! Find it bizarre that you'd expect him to?

YABU and immature.

To clarify-I didn’t say I expect them to, they brought it up and told me it’s not going to happen without me even mentioning it.
Also-we did it when they had a friend staying, sorry to drip feed, I just feel suspicious with it being their ex they have the problem being intimate with me around.

YABU

So he can't do 'adult stuff' as his ex is in the next room but it's fine when the kids are...

YABU, because I'm sure it's going to be awkward for your partner to have phone sex in front of the ex. YABU for using they instead of the proper pronoun. YABU because you've apparently never heard of sexting.

When did I say we were having phone sex in front of the ex? they’ll be in a completely different room and will only overhear if they wake up and go past the bedroom my partner will be in. I’m not expecting phone sex during Christmas dinner
I never asked if I was being unreasonable for my choice of pronoun.
Oh we’ve definitely heard of sexting, but much prefer to...erm...hear each other

What if his kids wake up, go past the bedroom and hear. That’s ok?? Strange set up but hey ho.

Understandable not to want to do that with ex in the next room; would be far too weird.
I wouldn’t be too keen on the ex staying though to be fair

What happens in houses where kids live and the parents have sex? I guess any siblings are immaculate conceptions

Some of you seem to be thinking we’re going to be doing all 50 shades with a megaphone I can’t believe I’m saying this but it would be heavy breathing at most...and also to clarify, the kids are too young to even know what sex is.

What Steff13 said.

I wouldn't want to have phone sex with my ex in the next room. As they're an adult I'm assuming it's much more likely they'll be awake than the children.

Unfortunately if the ex didn’t stay over it would be a matter of having to leave as soon as they arrived, and not getting to spend time with their kids.

You're missing the point op, people are mentioning the kids to show how daft his reason is. As in "he wouldn't mind small children hearing him bang one out but for some reason his ex hearing it is a no-no"

It is weird, he's probably shagging her, sorry.

Your girl/boyfriend is having his/her ex to stay for the sake of the kids. It’s a lovely gesture and would be lovely if more parents were able to do this.

I am sure it will be awkward for both parties, and exhausting. Phone sex is probably the last thing he/she will be in the mood for.

Give them a break, and stop being suspicious. While I know it’s an unusual situation and not ideally what you would want, you need to stop being suspicious. If you don’t trust them that’s a whole other issue and you should rethink the relationship.

I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that with a guest in the house. Yabu.

YABU. Grow up and go a few days without phone sex. Who even does that anymore....

No one has to do anything sexual if they feel uncomfortable doing it.
If they weird doing phone sex with their ex in the house then that’s the end of it.

I'd probably be more worried about the ex staying over?

i've never heard of anything so stupid in my life. so you can't put your unique sex life on hold for 72 hours or what ever it takes while company visits?
why doesn't he come stay at yours if your sex life is do desperately needy and allow his ex to have the whole of his place?

This is bizarre!

You sound like a teenager

Can you just not have phone sex for a few days?

Is anyone reading my replies?? I wouldn’t have brought up phone sex while the ex was there, they brought it up to say it wasn’t going to happen. We’ve gone days without it before and that doesn’t bother me in the slightest, what bothers me is that they said it won’t happen around their ex without me giving them a reason to mention it on top of the fact they’ll happily do it with other guests in the house (which did just happen, it’s never planned).
To make it easier for people to understand, the conversation went as follows:
Them: I doubt I’ll sleep much tonight after sleeping most of the afternoon.
Me: You can always call me if you can’t sleep, I don’t mind keeping you company.
Then: That’s something, we can’t do anything sexual over the phone when is here in case we’re overheard.
Also, to the person who asked who even has phone sex these days...erm, people who are miles away from their partner, rarely get to see them and enjoy doing it.

Well that was a lot longer than I thought it was