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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it wrong to correct someone who uses the wrong there, their or they’re

117 replies

Faerie87 · 18/12/2018 21:35

Or Your and you’re?

I know of a few friends who use the wrong ones and I’ve always had the urge to correct them, but never do because I feel it would make me look like I am being mean.

What do other people do?

OP posts:
MammaSchwifty · 18/12/2018 22:04

Obvious spelling and punctuation mistake’s annoy me intensely, but I ususally manage to bite my tongue and mutter to myself in despair about standards of education in basic literacy.

I'm screwing my up face at the glaring error in this sentence.

PositivelyPERF · 18/12/2018 22:05

Incredibly X 2 ffs

Flipflop789 · 18/12/2018 22:05

Unless i was asked i wouldnt dare.... how awful to possibly embarass someone who could be dyslexic. Not cool and very rude

MammaSchwifty · 18/12/2018 22:05

I'm screwing my up face at the glaring error in this sentence.

And now I'm screwing up my face at my own glaring error Grin

LoveAScaryTaleMe · 18/12/2018 22:06

As a TA I will correct my students and often point out that the teacher has got it wrong

HotSauceCommittee · 18/12/2018 22:07

I’m old school concerning grammar, but maybe someone else, who is brighter than me didn’t have the same education. If I like you and understand what you mean, it matters little to me.

yossell · 18/12/2018 22:07

Why do people think correcting grammar is, in and of itself, rude?

Of course, if you do it rudely, or to embarrass someone in front of his or her (phew) friends, then that's bad. But why, when it comes to grammar, is simply correcting incorrect use rude?

After all, we don't think it's rude to correct other kinds of mistakes that people make (again, provided it's done kindly). Why is grammar different?

LL83 · 18/12/2018 22:07

It bugs me. My sister does it a lot, she is very intelligent and has a great career but spelling is difficult for her. She knows the correct way, but forgets so there is no point in telling her.

I have corrected child who asked me 'why does it matter?' And I couldn't really give a good reason other the people will think you're stupid if you do it wrong. (ObviouslyI did not say that) Anyway, it does not mean you are stupid so although it still bugs me, I am more irrated that I notice/care almost as much as the actual error.

Short answer is I would never correct anyone. It's pointless and rude.

HotSauceCommittee · 18/12/2018 22:09

MammaSchwifty I can’t see your error. What is it please? I’m disappointed in myself for not seeing whatever it is.

Lettermethis · 18/12/2018 22:10

@MammaSchwifty

LOL I had to read it three times to spot it.

Ohyesiam · 18/12/2018 22:11

@jsmith
Obvious spelling and punctuation mistake’s annoy me intensely

You have a very well developed sense of ironyWink

HotSauceCommittee · 18/12/2018 22:12

Ahh, “my up”. Doh!

Original poster
Faerie87 · 18/12/2018 22:13

Although Trumps twitter page is full of the wrong usage of these words.

There are also many people who comment and kindly tell him the correct usage! 🤣

OP posts:
Flowerpot2005 · 18/12/2018 22:14

TBH, I notice but don't mention it.

RebelWitchFace · 18/12/2018 22:14

I do it with a specific group of friends because it's a running joke between us.
I also do it at work.
I only do it on here when someone is being a smart arse.

MrsTommyBanks · 18/12/2018 22:14

I would only correct my children. I think correcting anyone else is patronising and rude.

Somerford · 18/12/2018 22:15

Depends. If somebody asks you to proof read a letter or something, of course you need to point it out. If you read a post on this forum from someone who is going through a hard time and you only reply to point out an error, you're an arsehole.

Ohyesiam · 18/12/2018 22:15

@yossell which kind of mistakes do you think it’s ok to correct?

I suppose it’s seen as rude because unless someone is our boss or teacher we like to think of ourselves as equals. Someone taking it on themselves to educate or correct us changes the power balance and says “ I’m superior, but don’t worry I’ll help you improve”. I can’t see it ever being popular!

MothershipG · 18/12/2018 22:17

How about this scenario...one of the estate agents that were selling my house kept using the wrong your/you're in emails to me. So a professional context where I was the client. Would it be ok to correct someone in that situation?

And reading thing back should it be were or was? Estate agents is plural but it was one person. 😂😂

MothershipG · 18/12/2018 22:19

That! Not thing 😂

BackforGood · 18/12/2018 22:19

It depends on the context.

Another poster, offloading a problem on a MN thread? - no, don't correct
Something that is going on the wall in a school or on the whiteboard etc - yes, it should be right
Something that is going out in a letter or report representing your work ? - Yes
Something that is going to be printed or published ? - Yes
Your dc's writing ? - depends on the context / what they are doing.

RebelWitchFace · 18/12/2018 22:21

So is it rude and patronising when someone does a maths mistake?

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 18/12/2018 22:22

I’m severely dyslexic and would rather be told tbh. Saves my embarrassment of having people think I’m stupid.

AnotherPidgey · 18/12/2018 22:25

I often have to proof-read documents for DH. "Minor" errors can often confuse the meaning for example he has a tendency to mix singulars and plurals so it's not clear if he's referring to singular or multiple items of equipment.

I would very rarely correct someone in an informal setting. I don't correct on mumsnet. If a post is far too error stricken to read, I move on. I hope that not too many of my own errors slip through Wink

RebelWitchFace · 18/12/2018 22:28

Saves my embarrassment of having people think I’m stupid.

I think that's the main issue with it. A lot of people would see it as a personal attack on their intelligence.

I have no issues with that. I know I'm not stupid, but English is my second language so I have to ask sometimes what things mean, how they are pronounced or check a spelling. In all fairness that's also why I don't mix their/they're/there up. I've learned them separately with their meaning and spelling.