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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fallen for a man from Bulgaria, What to do?

55 replies

Daisydoooooo · 18/12/2018 17:03

Both worked together abroad a few years ago. Now back in touch, we holiday together and he visits me here in the UK. I've fallen for him but how would this work long term? Not sure if he could live here due to us leaving the EU and I have no idea what Bulgaria is like to live. Is it really poor? Or a hard place to live?

OP posts:
Crimbobimbo · 18/12/2018 18:39

Can you speak the language? What would you do there?
I've holidayed there once and I'm in no rush to go back.

DavidPuddy · 18/12/2018 18:40

No one knows the chances because no one knows what will happen. My suggestion would be to move to a third country together. Life is good in Germany.

Loftyswops988 · 18/12/2018 18:40

I'm a bit confused. Are you in a relationship with him? The way your post is worded is confusing

holidayhope · 18/12/2018 18:48

😔 I just wanted this to be about wombles

You're asking hypothetically if you continue having feelings for him it could work out?

oofadoofa · 18/12/2018 19:11

Well it depends very heavily on whatever deal the Government manages to actually make with Europe. If they go ahead with the transition period as currently planned, then it looks like he/you could have until December 2020, actually. Or that could even be extended. If it’s no deal, then it should be March, as mentioned before. But then again, they all might throw everything out the window and who knows, maybe all ex-pats will be returning back to the UK. And supposing it all goes to ‘plan’, if one wants to imagine there has been something like one, and we leave on good terms the transition period in 2020/2021, then beyond that point we’ll be applying for work and living visas as a third country, so imagine it costing a small fortune and/or maybe having to have a job/marriage/sponsor in place before being considered for anything more than a travel or studying visa.. (kind of guessing but may look something like that..)

DisplayPurposesOnly · 18/12/2018 19:16

Is this a reverse? Is that you Roy?

Grin
maddiemookins16mum · 18/12/2018 19:22

Bulgaria is one of the cheaper holiday destinations, the reason being it’s a bit of a dump. The infrastructure is poor, it’s got a lot of mafia type stuff and I won’t tell you the story about the porn film being made in a hotel lobby some of my guests were staying in (ex travel rep here).
I was quite shocked at how basic it was when I went, even the 4/5 star hotels were more like a basic 2/3 star in Spain. Grim.

EssentialHummus · 18/12/2018 19:24

You really need to speak to him and figure out what each of you want, without getting flustered about Brexit and Bulgarian infrastructure.

Tattletale · 18/12/2018 19:26

holidayhope 😂

BigPinkOrchid · 18/12/2018 19:39

Daisy, I lived in Bulgaria for a year around 2002. I lived in Sofia, the capital, and was perfectly happy there. Back then it was a lot less developed than the UK, for a big city everything was on a much smaller scale, felt a lot more provincial than UK cities at the time, but I imagine it's changed a lot since then. Bulgarian colleagues and my students were, on the whole, lovely. A few of my British colleagues had local partners and were settled there long term.

It's a beautiful country, lots of historical old towns, cobbled streets, etc. Mountains (skiing in winter, walking in the summer), beaches. Lovely warm summers and cold, snowy winters. English wasn't massively widely spoken when I was there, Russian was the second language, again that might have changed. Bulgarian language is Cyrillic script, looks impenetrable at first, but actually once you've learnt the Cyrillic alphabet, it's not too difficult at all.

It's poorer than the UK, some people have very little, but it's a developed country so it's poor in relation to the UK, but not, say, some South Asian countries. Not too different to the UK in terms of culture, how people socialise, what people spend their money and free time on.

Anyway, that's just my view, and a very old and possibly outdated one at that! It's also joined the EU since I was there, so I'm not sure what impact that might have had on the country. But I really enjoyed my year there and wouldn't be horrified at all if I had to go live there again.

Daisydoooooo · 18/12/2018 19:41

Thank you for replies Smile
Nope definitely not reverse and I have no idea who roy is unfortunately

OP posts:
Daisydoooooo · 18/12/2018 19:43

@Loftyswops988
It started as just fun meet up here and there both not looking for something serious now it's getting serious as in we are both wanting more but not sure how it's going to work with us both being from different countries.

OP posts:
StarCutterCookie · 18/12/2018 19:45

It reads like the start of a Take A Break story..

Daisydoooooo · 18/12/2018 19:48

it reads like the start of a Take A Break story

Minus the blood shedGrin

OP posts:
Daisydoooooo · 18/12/2018 19:49

I hope it doesn't end like a take a break story Shock

OP posts:
Notquiteagandt · 18/12/2018 19:49

Property is so cheap there. I know people who have bought property there and agricultural land.

Guess if it was so bad they wouldnt have bothered.

I have never been though. But should you move there youd probally be able to get a really nice house.

Daisydoooooo · 18/12/2018 21:04

The language would be a problem as I can't speak it and it seems a hard language to learn. I assume it's cheap there but what do you get for the wage over there?

OP posts:
BigPinkOrchid · 18/12/2018 21:13

The language isn't too difficult, honest! Looks tricky because of the Cyrillic alphabet, but really it's just a case of learning the 33(?) letters, and then it's no more difficult than any other European language to learn. I picked up a decent amount without trying too hard whilst there.

FirmlyRooted · 18/12/2018 21:14

I'm married to a Bulgarian man, we have been together a long time and have kids here in the UK. Are you in or around London? There is a thriving Bulgarian community here with shops, nurseries, schools and so on. Is your man willing to move to the UK?

Bulgaria is a beautiful country, excluding Sofia and Sunny Beach. It is of course poorer than the UK and work opportunities are limited for foreigners. Healthcare and education is excellent, the food is great and the wine is incredible.

bluefolder · 18/12/2018 21:15

is this a reverse? Is that you Roy?

GrinGrin

(op it's a reference to a storyline in the archers)

user1473878824 · 18/12/2018 21:21

@InvisibleLlama GrinGrinGrin

SushiMonster · 18/12/2018 21:23

it reads like the start of a Take A Break story

Nah. No ones granny has slept with their boyfriend and married their child yet.

LEDadjacent · 18/12/2018 21:33

@FirmlyRooted where are the Bulgarian shops? I need that white sheep cheese you use in a Shopska salad!

Onestep2 · 18/12/2018 21:38

Take a break stories always include the guy (Who is always at least 10 years younger) coming into some sort of financial hardship and manipulated the woman into handing over their life savings.

Sooooooo as long as he's not your toyboy and said he needs money to pay for his village well to be fixed to save the villagers.......

Genevieva · 18/12/2018 21:43

I think this is a hypothetical situation designed to get people talking about Brexit.