What happens to your child(ren) if you die?

[HoneyDoo]

Do you ever have the feeling of dread that if something happened to you resulting in your death, what would happen to your child(ren)?

Those of us that don't have trusted family members or friends that would step in.

Those of us that can't rely on the father(s) of your children to raise them.

Those of us that have no financial stability and so would not be able to leave anything for their upbringing?

Those of us that don't have a Will?

Just any of us for any reason, do you ever think about it?

I figured we could do with a lovely thread about death, what with Christmas around the corner. 😂

I'd also like to add that of course there will be fathers out there that cannot rely on the mother(s) of thier child(ren) to raise them in their absence....
Before I get lynched!

I made a Will specifying that my siblings and a friend who is a probate solicitor will be my DCs guardians in the event of my death. Unfortunately my useless DP has PR so will be primary carer, but I've also set up a life insurance policy so that there'll be a yearly stipend for DCs care, and a lump sum when they reach adulthood.

I live quite far away from my family so it does worry me that I'll kick the bucket and my DC will be left without a reliable parent.

DD will go to her dad, who she loves but it’s kept me awake at night because while he’s not a bad person and does love her, she wouldn’t even come top three in his list of priorities and that makes me so sad and scared!

Eek. If I die first, DP would continue to care for them, after him it would be my mum, after her (hopefully) it would be one of my siblings.

I hope not to though, my youngest is autistic and I don’t think anyone could look after him like I would

DwayneDibbly, I completely understand where you're coming from but at least you've been proactive and put something in place.

It's such a difficult thing to think about.

I think about this a lot and it terrifies me. They do have their dad and lots of family but I still feel like no one could look after them like I do. I realise that could sound really bad but anxiety isn't always rational. At the height of my anxiety/ocd I used to wash school uniform as soon as they took it off incase I suddenly died . I realise my feelings are very extreme but it truly is my biggest fear

I heard of some people getting life insurance to cover private boarding school provision while their children are in full time education,

I think that's it, no one loving your baby like you do or knowing and understanding them like you do.

The fear factor can be almost crippling

22giraffes, I really hope it gets better. You sound like you're trying and that's never a bad thing

We are very fortunate that there are several sets of family members who could and would step in if necessary but we do have a will specifiying our choice of guardians.

It also specifies trustees to manage the children’s finances.

It’s still scary to think of something happening that meant we wouldn’t be there for them. Less so as they get older but still scary.

I’m not sure there’s an excuse for not having a will.

Those of us that have no financial stability and so would not be able to leave anything for their upbringing?

Take out life assurance. As much as you can afford.

Those of us that don't have a Will?

Make one.

These two things at least are absolutely within your control and would be two less things to worry about. Do it now OP if you haven't already.

I have no idea. My oldest is almost 18 so he would likely step up. I have nobody and their dad's are useless and have no contact.

My husbands cousin was in a car crash and himself and his wife died. As there was no will Their children were left with family squabbling over who would have them and their substantial farm. It was all very painful and my husbands side don’t have any contact now. Make a will and give clear instructions. we did this once our children were born to avoid any confusion. It is not only easier for the children but for the rest of the family if you have given thought to this.

Make a will! Talk to people about being guardians and trustees and set something up just in case. I hated doing it, but now I know plans are in place and I don’t need to worry.

If there aren’t friends or family who could step up, is it worth talking to CAB or Social Services to find out what the options are and what control you can have over what would happen?

Make a will and get life insurance! These are within your control and it's a huge part of responsible parenting if you ask me.

We made a will and specified where our children would go, that they must be kept together, must be kept at the same school, all grandparents allowed access & left money for their upbringing.

You hear so many horror stories, you'd be silly not to.

I am the only one with PR of my dc. They would stay with oldest dc at her insistance!!

DD would go and live with a friend of mine. DD's father is dead and she could never have lived with him anyway. My family are abusive so we have no contact with them. I've mostly just had my fingers crossed that I don't die. We only have another 5 years left before she becomes an adult, so that's not too long to hang on for. I'm fit and well, so it will probably be ok.

Life insurance wouldn't be of any benefit to us and I can't afford it. Our house is our insurance if we need to to be sold to pay for anything.

We made a will so that it is clear dd will never go to abusive family members. Financial provisions have also been made.

I've made a will and I'm lucky with my family. However, Mum and Dad are not in the greatest health so I've stipulated my sister in any other event (with her knowledge).

The life insurance comments always annoy me. DP has a genetic illness that may reduce his life expectancy. No one would ever insure him for that. Christ no holiday travel insurers will even include it for a 2 week holiday, it is always excluded.
Life insurance is for fit healthy people., For everyone else it is either unavailable or very expensive.

My main concern is that DS might have to go and live with his dad in a different country to where he now lives, and I'm not sure he'd want to. But, as he's 13 now, his will would probably prevail.
I expect that at least my mother would want him with her, if not my sister as well (smaller home). But I suppose I really should have the talk with the family. Christmas Eve seems a good time.

Those of us that have no financial stability and so would not be able to leave anything for their upbringing?

Get a life insurance policy, it's only a few pounds a month, but makes a big difference.

hibble Bullshit, it is a few pounds a month if you are in good health.

It’s a huge worry for me and something I have been going over in my head for a few months now. The dc’s dad (we are divorced) has been unwell lately, he’s a lot o older than me, also he’s not a great father (sees the kids for a few hours each week, does nothing with them), I am a single parent, not re married, not in a relationship, my mother is also very ill and in a relationship with someone I don’t trust around my dc’s. Both my dc’s have autism. I need to sort out a will but I have no idea what to put in it. My dc’s have older half siblings but I could not put the responsibility on them. My youngest dd would probably end up in residential unit and the eldest possibly with her dad as she is more independent.