Aibu for going mad at friend who never paid me back?

[Coldshoulders]

So basically I borrowed a friend some money quite a few weeks ago now. We live in different towns so I transferred the money to her bank account which she received and thanked me for. We had an arrangement for her to pay me back the following week. The time comes where I txt her and ask if there's any chance she can transfer the money back to me and she replied sorry I have my weeks mixed up I don't get paid til next week, fair enough it is what it is. So I wait and get no response or money. Recently she's been messaging me hinting she needs money for various things and i didn't give her anymore money, I left her to rant away. Now it's been weeks since still no money so yesterday out the blue she messaged me so I decided to just ask her if she's got this money and she blanked my text. I seriously lost my shit and sent her a nasty msg saying if u cudnt pay me back u shud of just said but it is Xmas and i cud of done with u paying me back and basically told her to stick it up her arse. Today I feel alot calmer but now I feel guilty about it. Like was I being unreasonable or shud I apologise. I don't actually think she's had any intention of paying me back and it was just the principal tbh. Yesterday wasn't the best of days and i don't know if I just took it out on her either way never got paid won't get paid and now I feel guilty x

Whoops!! Sorry wrong thread

Whattodoabout, who do you think you are exactly to correct somebody's terminology? They haven't asked you to do that and you just look like an inadequate.

I find it hard to understand how a person who calls herself a friend can borrow money and make no attempt to pay it back. Its bad enough realizing after accepting a loan that paying it back in one go is going to be difficult. In that circumstance the least the borrower could do was admit it and pay it back in say £10 chunks. Not great but better than nothing.

At least you are out of it without getting sucked in to being used again op.

@jessstan2 and all the other grammar bullies on this thread -

You should be ashamed of yourself for your thoughtless snobbish bullying. Have you ever considered that not everyone has English as a first language or has the benefit of a good education or that they might have difficulties which make reading and writing difficult? Do you feel better about yourself and your social standing because your grammar and spelling are better than someone else's? Do we need to play "who is the most intelligent" on every thread?

jesstan How utterly pathetic of you.

One down, one to go...

YANBU She's not a friend, she's a cheeky fucker.

Ignore the grammar twats OP. They have sad little lives and belittling others for minor mistakes in their writing is how they get their rocks off.

Hi all

It's really not in the spirit to pick on spelling/grammar/word choice in this way - can we keep it about the issue in the OP, please?

Where I live, the local way to say ‘lend’ is ‘borrow’ so although not grammatically correct, it is an established colloquial alternative

Wow how many comments have been removed while i was having a takeaway 😂 I'm guessing they are all the nasty comments. I usually just write things in txt form as I'm using my phone and in this day and age alot of other people do the same. There's always something going down on mumsnet lol sorry for my spelling and grammar mistakes honestly didn't mean to upset anyone xx

You don't ever need to apologise to anybody for spelling and grammar, Coldshoulders. Your post was clear and you didn't deserve the pointed corrections. Some of them were pretty lacking themselves actually.

£50 down but you've got rid of this pseudo-friend without it costing you even more so that's a good result. Don't feel guilty about what you said. I would block her now so that she can't contact you again.

My earlier post was removed, which I think is a bit unfair since I was only pointing out that the person picking holes on the OP was in fact not correct themselves. Humph!

SPAG errors aside, I think you've had an expensive lesson OP. Never lend money unless you are happy to consider it a gift. It could have been worse, she might have repaid the first loan and then gone on to borrow much larger sums. She clearly isn't concerned about your friendship, so I'd block her and move on.

Thank you LyinWitchInTheWardrobe I have blocked her now it's over with guilt gone lol OohIsThatAFlake where I live we do say borrow/lend as the same thing even though I do get what other people meant lol borrow or lend who cares I know what I meant haah and can just get on with things thanks everyone xxx

I understood you, Coldshoulfers

You were well within your rights to have a go at her. £50 is a fair whack - a week's food or a couple of weeks of energy bills for many. Given that she kept blowing you off when you asked her for the money back and then felt the need to ask for more suggests she is in it deeper than she'll admit. Tell her there is no way you can give her any more money (because, face it, the lending vs borrowing pedantry becomes irrelevant when you're never going to see it again) and point her in the direction of a debt advice charity such as step change.

YANBU. She's not a good friend if she's not bothered about giving you your money back. 50 is a fairly significant amount IMO

Wow homeishere, does it make you feel better about yourself, making that comment?

Great, MNHQ are really on the ball, I just reported that one but it was already gone. Thanks MNHQ.

£50 is not a lot to know how reliable a friend is. Either forget it, keep the friend, and maybe the money will come back, or make a big deal and maybe lose the friend.

op i know how you feel.ex dp was dp when he owed me £80

long story short we have split early this year but were still in contact (txt phone)i started after 6 months of owing me and it got to nine months and not a penny paid and like you lost it with him

still had money for drink/weed/cigarettes which weekly would be £££ and i told him so

next day felt calmer but realised he had no intention of paying me back and hoped he would think i needed it especially with kids for Christmas

nothing,that just shows how little he thought of me,havent spoken for 2 months and will never contact him again

Infuriating when people ask for money and then not pay.
You did a very nice thing and she didn't appreciate it enough to pay you back.
Don't feel guilty about anything. £50 pounds is a lot when you work hard to earn it.
No good deed goes unpunished. Guilt is a useless emotion. She should be the one feeling guilty not you.

Thanks everyone I think I have prob lost a 'friend' anyway as I haven't felt the same about her since she didn't pay me back. I'm a reasonable person and if she would of just said she cudnt pay me til such a date or offered to pay it 10 here n there I would of been more then happy to accept but she didn't offer nothing, she had no intention of paying me back or she would of at least tried. Single mum to my son Xmas next week that money would of came in handy but oh well it's the risk u take when u lend someone money. 50 isn't alot to show u who ur friends are and today I don't feel guilty and I'm actually happy now as she can't ask me again. We wasn't even close friends I just did her a favour lol oh well thanks everyone and at least i learned that if u say borrow instead of lend or if u have spelling mistakes u will get crucified on here so I will try not to make the same mistakes again lol thanks again everyone x