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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To allow my 3 year old to have a "tv day"?

52 replies

Zara85 · 17/12/2018 16:14

We are busy all the time, he goes to nursery 3 full days (7.30am -6pm). Then examples of a typical week for us...
Monday -friends over in the morning/ toddler group afternoon
Tuesday Weds Thurs- nursery
Friday - dance group morning/ meet my mum for lunch and shopping afternoon with the dc
Saturday - out as a family with baby and dh, somewhere like a garden centre or soft play or park, lunch then usually visit friends or family.
Sunday - tv day. Me and dh use this day to clean the house, cook a Sunday dinner, cook meals for in the week. We may take ds for a bike ride for an hour or so or he likes to come food shopping too. But on the whole most of his Sundays he'll just crash on the sofa and watch telly for most of the day! Is this really bad? He's normally whacked by a Sunday but he loves to go out and be busy, so he really enjoys his week days too.
Only on reading mn did I realise that so many don't allow tv at all, or maybe 30 mins a day Blush

OP posts:
TeddyIsaHe · 17/12/2018 16:18

Oh god I wouldn’t even give it a second though. Sometimes lazy tv days are the best. He sounds so busy, a relaxing day will do him the world of good.

I don’t believe for one second the amount of tv people on mn say their kids watch. It’s easy to be a perfect parent online!

UhYeahISureHopeItDoes · 17/12/2018 16:18

Your child your choice. Do what the hell you want if it works for you Grin

BendydickCuminsnatch · 17/12/2018 16:19

Go no, YANBU!

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 17/12/2018 16:22

Tbh, I don't think watching TV all day 8do you mean literally all day? How many hours will it be typically?) should be a regular occurrence for a 3yo. Ours gets probably about 2 hours a day, in two or three chunks (afternoon, evening, sometimes morning), but she needs ridiculously small amounts of sleep and if she was more of a normally-sleeping child I doubt she'd top half an hour a day. There's a lot of being out and about, she's in nursery 4-6 hours a day, she loves books and we read to her for hours on end. I'd feel uncomfortable with her solidly sitting in front of a screen for hours. Couldn't you get him involved a bit in cleaning/cooking? How much TV does he have in the week?

HestiaParthenos · 17/12/2018 16:23

Well, it is not ideal, but it is not the end of the world.

Do you supervise what he watches?

I am not sure if a 3 year old can even understand what's on the TV (I wasn't allowed TV at that age) but I think it would be better to make a conscious decision on what he watches rather than letting him just pick whatever he wants.

Children pick up a lot from the media, it not being exactly educative is the least of your worries.

Is there a reason he can't just sit there and play quietly?

cestlavielife · 17/12/2018 16:25

CBeebies or similar is fine but go out for a walk too

HestiaParthenos · 17/12/2018 16:29

I don’t believe for one second the amount of tv people on mn say their kids watch. It’s easy to be a perfect parent online!

Believe it or not, I can't recall watching any TV at kindergarten age.

If you don't get children in the habit, and if they're quiet, you don't have to stick them in front of the TV so they don't get in the way.

I started to get up early and watch TV before my parents woke up exactly at the age when my parents let me watch half an hour of TV a day and I wanted to watch more.

Beforehand ... well, I just doubt at three years I would even have understood what was going on in most of the cartoons I loved later on.

MaryShelley1818 · 17/12/2018 16:32

YANBU!
My 12mth old has a Peppa Pig addiction (obviously I’m exaggerating!) but he spends 2 half days at nursery, a half day with my mam, a full day and overnight with DH’s family, soft play, farm, music classes, baby gym, swimming, Sensory Room, eating out, meeting friends, shopping etc etc We play and read in the house. He absolutely deserves some downtime and a few cartoons too and a pj day :)

Blacktoffeecat · 17/12/2018 16:33

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a chill out day. DS has one every now and again. He does play with his toys and do a bit of play doh or a run around in the back garden but will have a good chunk of TV as well.

BiscuitDrama · 17/12/2018 16:36

The only thing that I would think is whether he’s getting time to potter about at home? Maybe you’re a bit booked up!

Happilyacceptingcookies · 17/12/2018 16:36

YANBU OP! DD was 3 and watching TV a lot for most of my pregnancy when I couldn't peel myself off the sofa this summer! Toddlers need downtime too.

However I have noticed that when she watches a lot of TV I get more tantrums from her than when we have done something else.

GaryBaldbiscuit · 17/12/2018 16:39

Can't he chill out with his toys?

SoyDora · 17/12/2018 16:42

Of course a 3 year old can understand what’s on the TV, my 3 year old doesn’t watch a massive amount but she has favourite programmes/favourite characters etc. She loves Blue Peter.
I don’t think a TV would do a huge amount of harm, although a whole day does sound a lot! Mine get restless after half an hour though so I probably just can’t imahine it Grin

Yabbers · 17/12/2018 16:42

The only caution I'd give is, maybe it would be better for at least some of the day, to encourage him to find something to entertain himself rather than rely on TV.

I speak from experience - DD (9) really struggles to work out what to do with herself when telly is not an option. I wish we'd encouraged her to do that more when she was 3.

LimitIsUp · 17/12/2018 16:48

This is completely fine - particularly given his heavy schedule.

pantyclaws · 17/12/2018 16:49

The only thing that I would think is whether he’s getting time to potter about at home? Maybe you’re a bit booked up!

This.

Your week is packed out.

It's really good for him to be bored but I can't imagine he has much opportunity.

I personally don't have a problem with my DC watching some TV even though I know it's not good for them, I'm pretty pragmatic, but a whole day at age 3 every week seems excessive. I don't know anyone who does this IRL.

We tag team to do our cleaning and cooking while the other does something with the DC or do it in the evenings so you don't really need that day.

Missingstreetlife · 17/12/2018 16:52

A whole day every week is a lot, smaller bits spread out is better. You are basically switching his brain off for hours at a time.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 17/12/2018 16:57

We often watch a whole movie on one day of the weekend, either all together or we chat get jobs done while they watch. But a whole day is a lot - especially he is only home 4 days a week, and it looks like a lot of that time is spent out at organised groups and/or with other people. Does he ever play quietly with some duplo or his toys, either by himself or with you? Why can't he help you cook? Most parents i know will tag team a bit to make sure that the child can get some interaction.

I'd stop the habit now, once he starts school it might be a hard one to break.

TeddyIsaHe · 17/12/2018 17:00

Hestia how rude. I don’t use tv as a way to get my child out of the way, ridiculous you assume that. We adore watching Hey Duggee together, and often have film evenings. It’s a lovely way for us to both relax after long days at work and nursery.

SoyDora · 17/12/2018 17:03

well, I just doubt at three years I would even have understood what was going on in most of the cartoons I loved later on

All the three year olds I know can understand what’s happening in TV programmes, just as they understand what’s happening in books, in real life, in make believe games with their friends/siblings...

Original poster
Zara85 · 17/12/2018 17:08

He helps me cook every night, he loves it. He is like my shadow he follows me around all the time and the tv is rarely on
On a Sunday, typically we will have breakfast and then he may pop out food shopping with me till 11.30 ish. Then tv for an hour or so, lunch and a nap and then he will wake at 2 ish and just chill infront of the tv for the rest of the afternoon. He likes CBeebies, team umizumi, Peppa, pj masks. Arthur Christmas. Never plays with any technology like phones or tablets. He's never partucularly enjoyed playing with toys. Even as a baby. He loves to chat and read and dance but apart from playdoh he isn't interested, and trust me he has a lot we have tried everything. His brother is totally different (10mo) and will sit and play for hours but ds1 has never been like that.
We do have a busy schedule and sometimes i wonder if it's too much but the first words out of ds mouth are "where we going today mummy?". He tends to get bored and wind baby up if we are home for long, but by a Sunday he's ready for a rest.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zara85 · 17/12/2018 17:10

@soydora I agree, ds knows everything that's going on on tv! He really enjoys things and I find umizumi is really quite informative too

OP posts:
SoyDora · 17/12/2018 17:14

My three year old has learned loads of maths from umizumi!

Cherries101 · 17/12/2018 17:16

A 2 yo watching TV all day when their mum organises their time is okay, but this tends to turn into an obese young person being a couch potato all day every day far too easily. I suggest you go, as a family, for a walk at least for part of the afternoon. TV should be limited not a way to pass the ‘rest of the day’.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2018 17:17

#teamUnizuumi here too, it's educational so it's fine haha

I think if he is allowed to get play doh, books, other toys out if he wants and it isn't just "sit in there alone and be quiet" then actually it's meeting his needs in terms of rest.

It's easy to preach you only put the telly on to show advanced maths for 27 minutes a day but in reality there's lots of good kids TV, that's educational and fun, and that 3 year okds can get a lot from.

Chill.