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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Midwife did a sweep last night without asking

352 replies

Katnisnevergreen · 17/12/2018 09:10

Hi all, I’m just after some advice. I went to the maternity unit last night with bad contractions (am 39 weeks) which had been building over the past few days to every 3.5 mins.
When the midwife was checking to see how dilated I was, it was really painful, like trying to get away painful, and I could really feel her moving around.
When she finished she said ‘I’ve done you a sweep too...’
is this out of order as I didn’t ask or want one?

OP posts:
Eledamorena · 18/12/2018 00:00

I had a similar experience with my first, OP, and wish I had complained. I had specifically refused sweeps even when I went overdue, and had ended up being induced. I am very 'funny' about internal exams, and it is my right to refuse them. I too felt violated, and it hurt enough that I was physically backing away as she did it and my husband actually jumped out his seat to intervene.

I really wish I had said something. With my second I remember being overly anxious about anyone checking how dilated I was in case they also went for a sweep. I mentioned it to a midwife in a very self-deprecating way - 'I know I'm being silly, I just hate the thought of them and I find even a routine internal painful and use gas and air for them...' The midwife told me I wasn't being silly and it obviously was a big deal if it was still on my mind 3 years later!

BollockingBaubles · 18/12/2018 00:35

I had horrible experience after my first baby, I can't even write it down without getting very upset but basically I had a retained placenta and was sent to theatre to have it manually removed, I wasn't told anything about what was happening and only know what happened because the midwife in my second pregnancy helped me, anyway I was given way too much pain relief (without consent) and then an epidural after giving birth and wheeled to theatre to have placenta manually removed, ten men were stood in the room waiting, nine of which were students and after doctor said a few a words they all took turns to fish around inside me, I tried asking them to stop, I was a sobbing mess and couldn't move but they carried on, I passed out at the seventh students turn.

I developed an infection, was very poorly and had to stay in hospital for a week.

Woke up throbbing inside me, felt humiliated and ashamed and it's had a lasting impact on me. This was 20 years ago now and I'm sad to see so many women and their right to consent is being ignored by not only medical staff but also other women.

What happened to me still impacts on me now, smears are terrifying to me to the point I'm that anxious I'm either puking in the waiting room or in the room itself. I'd avoided getting something looked at because I was that scared about being knocked out. Majority of nhs staff are brilliant and under appreciated, but this thread shows that even now, a woman's bodily autonomy isn't respected my not only some medical staff but other women too.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and your baby is with you soon, what happened to you was wrong and I'm sorry. Thanks

Pernickity1 · 18/12/2018 05:17

BollockingBaubles Flowers

So sorry that happened to you Sad

MeridianB · 18/12/2018 06:56

Oh Baubles, reading your post has made me really tearful. I am so sorry you had that appalling experience. It sounds like very understandable PTSD. I hope you get some support. Flowers

Thehop · 18/12/2018 07:06

It’s medical assault. Write a letter highlighting the issue so that change happens.

footballmum · 18/12/2018 07:06

What is horrifying about this thread is the lack of autonomy women still have over their bodies and the number of women who actually think it’s acceptable!

Nightwatch999 · 18/12/2018 07:16

Wtf? Don't go to the hospital for help OP if you do not want the midwife to do their job!

SoyDora · 18/12/2018 07:24

The midwifes job is to carry out procedures with consent. If she doesn’t know this, she needs additional training.

OnceInABlueMoon9 · 18/12/2018 07:41

Nightwatch are you joking?! Her job is to care for her patients and carry out checks and procedures WITH CONSENT. There are lots of reasons not to have a sweep if you bother to look and not just go along with everything you’re told. It’s up to every woman to make their own choice. My dad recently decided not to have a certain treatment for cancer. Do you think that when he next visits the hospital the doctor should just shove him on the bed and carry out the procedure as they are doing their job?

TenForward82 · 18/12/2018 07:41

Way to miss the point, @Nightwatch999

OnceInABlueMoon9 · 18/12/2018 07:44

Bollockingbaubles im so sorry that happened to you. I also experienced some awful treatment with both of my dd’s and they didn’t ask for consent. Not as bad as what you went through, it’s shocking that things like that can happen but thy can and do frequently I think. 💐

Racecardriver · 18/12/2018 08:03

No one but the patient (provided that they are conscious and have capacity) has the right to decide whether a medical procedure should take place or not. Bodily autonomy is a fundamental right. If you feel up to it o would make a complaint. No woman should subjected to medical procedures without first being informed and consenting to them whilst in labour. Try not to worry about it. I am sure the rest of the staff you see during your labour will be great Flowers

user1457017537 · 18/12/2018 08:10

I don’t think infection control is taken seriously in NHS hospitals. I had MRSA after my second cesearean and it was life-threatening and would have left my DH with a 5 year old and a newborn. Midwifes and Drs are examining women intimately and cross infection must happen. After a recent major op my DH was given a pack from a private hospital to have his stitches removed. Everthing it contained was sterile. Our GP nurse took it and tossed it in the bin and removed the sutures without gloves, etc. We were too shocked to complain and if you do you are blacklisted as troublemakers. If you have a blood test at our local hospital you see phlebotomists wearing the same disposable gloves for many patients in between wheeling filthy wheelchairs around.

FestiveNut · 18/12/2018 09:19

@duggeehugs is it too late to complain? At the very least the midwife in question would know she'd be complained about and think twice next time. If it was only a few years ago, she's likely still working.

@bollockingbaubles

That's awful. I'm livid on your behalf. Flowers

@nightwatch999 so anyone in the medical profession has the right to operate on you whenever they jolly well feel like it, then, as long as you're in a medical setting? Honestly, sort yourself out. No means no, in any and all scenarios.

Ohyesiam · 18/12/2018 09:24

I am sure she thought she was helping
That’s not the point, you need to give informed consent for anything that happens to your body or it can be classed as assault.
As a HCP she should be well aware of this, and blindly doing something to be helpful is no excuse.

Bozlem80 · 18/12/2018 17:29

That’s not right, my DD went to see her midwife at 39+6 & was refused a sweep so had to go back at 40+1 still didn’t have her DD till 15 days past her due date!

ToftyAC · 18/12/2018 17:34

Not sure on this one. I’ve had a few but was never asked. Didn’t realise you could say no cause they are rather uncomfortable.

whitechocolatespaceegg · 18/12/2018 17:35

It's assault. And if this happened to me I would complain.

Flappypants · 18/12/2018 17:37

I can't believe ANYONE thinks this was in any way ok!!!

SoyDora · 18/12/2018 17:38

Not sure on this one. I’ve had a few but was never asked

You should have been. And you always have the right to say no to any procedure being carried out on your body.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/12/2018 17:41

Tofty you can say no to any medical intervention, for whatever reason assuming you are a competent adult. The onus is on the HCP to explain what they want to do and obtain your informed consent before proceeding.

Sheffmum1 · 18/12/2018 17:41

I totally disagree!.. I had a sweep ( with my permission to the midwife) and it's nearly as flippin bad as giving birth ( apologies to any pregnant mum's out there).. she should have definitely got your permission and explained everything before she did something so invasive! mention it to the GP next time you go in.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 18/12/2018 17:41

Jesus Christ Baubles. I am lost for words. That is one of the worst things I have read on MN. I am so sorry.

I would like someone who thinks OP's MW was in the right to also explain if they think what happened to Baubles was okay. Or maybe women should not seek medical help as if you do, you are clearly giving permission for 9 men to put their hands into your vagina whilst you scream at them to stop.

Fucking hell. This whole thing makes me SO angry.

kk66 · 18/12/2018 17:50

This is anything but ok. Without your express permission it is assault. Your vagina is as sacrosanct during pregnancy as at any other time. A sweep is an intervention and a medical procedure. Guidance from the GMC states that a medical professional must set out all the options including risks, benefits and side effects and gain express permission and that 'The patient decides whether to accept any of the options and, if so, which one. They also have the right to accept or refuse an option for a reason that may seem irrational to the doctor, or for no reason at all.'

AnoukSpirit · 18/12/2018 17:52

The law says conducting any medical examination or procedure without legally valid consent is assault.

It's not a midwife's job to assault people.

It's not a doctor's job to assault people.

It's not any healthcare professional's job to assault people.

HTH.