Midwife did a sweep last night without asking

[Katnisnevergreen]

Hi all, I’m just after some advice. I went to the maternity unit last night with bad contractions (am 39 weeks) which had been building over the past few days to every 3.5 mins.
When the midwife was checking to see how dilated I was, it was really painful, like trying to get away painful, and I could really feel her moving around.
When she finished she said ‘I’ve done you a sweep too...’
is this out of order as I didn’t ask or want one?

Giving birth without internal examinations is completely possible.

Also I think birth plans can be very helpful. Having a birth plan during my second birth made it a much better experience than the the first time. The birth wasn’t completely textbook or straightforward either, but having carefully researched and written a plan meant that making certain decisions was much easier and it felt like proper, informed consent.

I think one of the reasons birth plans are sneered at so badly is because they do help women to make choices and be more involved in birth decisions.

I just think there’s such a horrible attitude towards childbirth anytime a woman says she wants to feel in control/be treated with respect/have a degree of dignity. Always lots of comments of ‘Oh you won’t care when you’ve got a team of 10 people staring at your vagina’ ‘there’s no dignity in labour you lose count of the amount of people who shove their fingers up you’ ‘birth plans are pointless they just go straight out the window’

The bmj recently published an article about improving the language healthcare staff use in maternity care. It basically encouraged asking rather than telling pregnant women about procedures being performed, not talking about women as ‘she/her’ when said woman is in the room with them and avoiding patronising terms like ‘good girl’ for adult women. Very sensible and logical, yet the majority of comments on FB and news websites were of absolute disdain, people calling it ‘political correctness gone mad’ and all the usual stuff about birth being fundamentally undignified and pregnant women should be grateful for a healthy baby.

I just think there’s such a horrible attitude towards childbirth anytime a woman says she wants to feel in control/be treated with respect/have a degree of dignity. Always lots of comments of ‘Oh you won’t care when you’ve got a team of 10 people staring at your vagina’ ‘there’s no dignity in labour you lose count of the amount of people who shove their fingers up you’ ‘birth plans are pointless they just go straight out the window’

Absolutely this. It's really unhelpful and also just not true. There's such a weird strand of misogyny running through the language. A weird glee at the stupid "girls" who think they can be in control/ treated like a person. The birth plan sneering is particularly odd as the NHS ask you for one. Mine wasn't ignored it was followed and I had a really positive experience.

Yes to the birth plan sneering. Often goes along with assuming that any preferences women express in them will be for silly/trivial things like music or scented candles, or that anything else included in them must be silly and trivial by definition.

Absolutely! I cared deeply how I looked when I was in labour. I cared who saw me, I cared about what happened, and I was very, very dignified. Dignity has nothing to do with birth processes.

Can you imagine the same rhetoric being spouted about another natural process? Dying, for example? “Oh you have no dignity at all in the last stages, you don’t care who sees you like that because it hurts so much and everyone will be watching you shit and piss yourself, there’s no dignity in it at all, and you won’t care”

It’s just as bloody disrespectful to say it to women about birth.

Another one here who has just realised this happened to me. 22 years ago. It was agony, I didn’t know what she was doing until I read this thread. I was 12 hours post induction at 2 weeks overdue 🙁🙁

@siliconheaven apparently checking dilation can be bloody painful too, so it could also have been that. I'm not sure if this happened to me or not. She had me huff on the gas and air while she did it. I presume she was just checking dilation like she said.

So agree with above comments. When the midwife was doing the sweep on me, without consent, and I told her how much she was hurting me, she laughed and said “sometimes it is hard to be a woman” in a jocular way to DH. I was crying with pain and he had to make her stop. I was left in total shock, it hurt so much afterwards, only stopping when i had the epidural for the c-section.

I was days before my due date, with a first baby, who i strongly feel would not have been born naturally for a week or so. Because i had developed pre -eclampsia they decided to induce me. I was rold she would just be inserting a pessary, then there was this horrible circular, forceful rumaging. I had no idea what she was doing, just this shocking pain. There was no point to doing a sweep then, my cervix was completely closed, i wasn’t at all ready physically to go into labour.

That baby was 14 this week, and i am still angry, and feel myself getting stressed if i think about it.

I had a suppository given after birth without consent, the mw was stitching me (also without explaining or asking consent) and she asked if I was allergic to diclofenac, I said no and that I had had it before and then no more was said. It was only when I was being discharged I asked if I had been prescribed it and they said no you already had it rectally

In all the things that happened during that labour and birth that is the least shocking, I hate thinking about it and I am so angry that this kind of thing is still going on

Hope you're ok OP?

Mysa74 yes thank you, I finally gave birth on Tuesday and am now home. The whole birth experience got more and more traumatic and I am definitely quite shaken by the whole experience. I don’t know if the sweep coloured my experience but I just felt tense and on edge throughout and flinched with the ever increasing exams for problems that arose.
Baby is here though and amazing, but every time I think about my birth experience I cry and get overwhelmed.
I’m hoping to talk to my nct person as she is a doula and impartial to the whole experience and talk it through with hee

I am so sorry to hear that so many other women have had experiences far worse than mine, and my heart aches for you all.

Also, I’ve just noticed that this has been referenced on MNTROLLS reddit as a fetish, fucking marvellous that’s what I need right now.
Clearly it’s all my cunning plan and not a distressed labouring woman who was confused and scared and in pain

I came round from a seizure to find a doctor doing a sweep on me. (I am epileptic )
Actually felt like I had been assaulted.

We complained but as it was my word against him and the nurse who was with him. They said I was confused.

Congratulations on your baby’s birth Katniss. I’m sorry that the whole experience has been so traumatic and hope that you can get some closure by talking with your NCT teacher. Friends of mine who had traumatic births found it very helpful getting debriefs from the hospital, but I can quite understand if you have no interest whatsoever in going near/talking to anyone from the hospital at this point.

53rdWay I wouldn’t say that asking for candles/certain music in your birth plan is trivial or silly. Anything that helps a labouring woman feel more comfortable and relaxed is a positive thing.

Congratulations on your newborn Katniss 😀

Just wanted to add, DP had a sweep at 16, whilst having a seizure, and wound up having an emcs under general anaesthesia as a result. Her sweep was unconsented and deeply traumatic. She's unable to discuss it without invoking a seizure decades later.

Congrats Katniss, chase it up still and don’t be put off as it has clearly had an effect on you! In the meantime enjoy your baby’s 1st Christmas!

I had a sweep at 41 weeks, which worked, but I knew what was happening and went into hospital specifically for the sweep. It would have been terrifying to suddenly feel all that pain and not know what someone was doing. Even with full consent, it still feels like you've been violated.

Congratulations, Katniss!

Ignore the idiots on Reddit, OP. They seem desperate to identify virtually every thread as a troll thread, which makes the entire board utterly pointless.

Katniss

Congratulations and lots of love to you and your lovely new baby

I'm sorry you've had a shit experience, I felt exactly the same after my first birth and know loads of women who did. I found talking about it and annoying all of my friends by constantly repeating myself was the thing that helped the most. It gradually got less upsetting to think about but I still feel a bit outraged sometimes. The birth trauma association are really good if you feel like you need a bit more help.

Congratulations and love and big hugs to you

Congratulations @Katnisnevergreen

I had a consultant attempt to do this on me. She was putting on a glove and had an implement in a kidney bowl. I thought she was checking the heart beat only as I was high risk. I asked what she was doing. She told me in a strong tone, ‘you are here for a sweep’. I said I hadn’t realised and wasn’t told! She said are you refusing. Absolutely I said. It was mortifying but I did not want this to happen and it did not!! What an awful experience for you. I am seething on your behalf xx