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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Midwife did a sweep last night without asking

352 replies

Katnisnevergreen · 17/12/2018 09:10

Hi all, I’m just after some advice. I went to the maternity unit last night with bad contractions (am 39 weeks) which had been building over the past few days to every 3.5 mins.
When the midwife was checking to see how dilated I was, it was really painful, like trying to get away painful, and I could really feel her moving around.
When she finished she said ‘I’ve done you a sweep too...’
is this out of order as I didn’t ask or want one?

OP posts:
TeaPot496 · 17/12/2018 13:30

Exams are a necessity but performed In The right way, using tact!

No, they are not an absolute necessity. Women have a right to decline everything. They have limited use and often serve the paperwork more than the woman.

I witnessed a midwife colleague trying to persuade a sexual abuse survivor to consent. Despicable. Reported her.

icannotremember · 17/12/2018 13:30

Bloody hell. I found it bad enough to be under sustained verbal pressure to have a sweep I was adamant I would not have- imagining someone violating me in the way that was done to you is horrible.

SoEverybodyDance · 17/12/2018 13:34

In my experience, birth plans are a con because they give you the illusion you are in control of your birth. In reality med professionals take little notice and some midwives barely even read them. What matters to them is what is going on with your body medically. You went into hospital because you are progressing into labour and it's slow and painful. She did a procedure to move it along.

It's the same thing when someone is seriously ill and might die. They might have given an advance notice of their wishes, or if they haven't, then their family can. But if the doctor in charge of the resuscitation room thinks they don't have a chance, then their decision not to resuscitate outweighs all other wishes.

The doctors/nurses are not wrong: it's the illusion we have a choice which is wrong. For example, resuscitation rates are pretty minuscule, far lower than most people think (thanks to television) and they are frightening for everyone involved.

I had a labour that didn't progress and I ended up with a caesarian. Would a sweep have made a difference? I don't know, but if it had, I would have had it. I think it makes medical sense to try to progress you now before you become too tired to cope with labour later on.

Good luck with your labour. Try to focus on your baby coming if you can.

afrikat · 17/12/2018 13:37

I'm utterly amazed people think this is ok. Having a medical procedure performed without your consent is assault. Sweeps aren't without risk, however minor, and you should always be able to say no to any intervention.
I'm sorry you had to experience this, I definitely think you should complain and request that you do not see that particular midwife again.

icannotremember · 17/12/2018 13:38

You went into hospital because you are progressing into labour and it's slow and painful. She did a procedure to move it along.

It's the same thing when someone is seriously ill and might die.

It really is not the same thing at all. A sweep is not a life saving procedure.

TeaPot496 · 17/12/2018 13:39

No SoEverybodyDance - poor and illegal practice must be challenged. Every time. The problem is most women don't know their rights so don't even know that choices exist.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 17/12/2018 13:40

I am not a midwife but I thought an internal exam was feeling how dilated someone is. A sweep is actively poking and prodding to try and soften the cervix to start the labour process.
There may be some overlap (though I suspect not) but she didn't explain it either way.
You will see midwives for a few days after the birth so I would ask one of them
I'm sorry this has happened to you, even with consent I found a sweep really painful and undignified and upsetting, I was close to tears after.
I think some experienced health care professionals find it all so normal and routine they don't realise it can be scary and confusing for other people especially if it's the first time they've experienced it

53rdWay · 17/12/2018 13:42

The doctors/nurses are not wrong: it's the illusion we have a choice which is wrong.

It is absolutely not an illusion when it comes to procedures like sweeps. Women don’t have to agree even if the midwife/doctor thinks it’s for the best, and should be given the opportunity to consent to medical procedures when we have the capacity to do so.

This is a whole different issue to relatives wanting doctors to attempt resuscitation when it won’t be successful. This would be more like saying, if you’re eligible for chemotherapy then you shouldn’t get to choose, you should just have it done without anyone asking you.

Melamin · 17/12/2018 13:42

*They have limited use and often serve the paperwork more than the woman.

So true in so many contexts!

Celebelly · 17/12/2018 13:43

Er no, we do have a choice. Asking about alternatives or having done our own research into what is right for us is not the same as saying doctors and midwives are wrong. Some decisions are not based on health or clinical outcomes and are not tailored to individual women, which is fine because it's the NHS and there is a process to streamline things from a healthcare professional point of view. But you have the right to choose and be informed about the steps of your labour and be given accurate information and the right to consent to or reject certain interventions, ask for alternatives, ask to wait.

Riding roughshod over women's wishes and concerns is a way to make birth traumatic, and 'failure to progress' will only be worsened in a woman who feels anxious and uncomfortable or scared to speak up or who feels like they don't understand what is being done to them.

OohBabyBabeh · 17/12/2018 13:43

This happened to me and I didn't mind as I wanted baby out before due date.

Celebelly · 17/12/2018 13:45

And about birth plans: one of their purposes is not just for the healthcare professionals looking after you, but as a reference document for yourself and your birth partner when you need to advocate for yourself. I don't expect my birth plan to be followed 100% or for the midwives to know everything on it, but I know the parts of it that are important to me and, crucially, my birth partner knows what's important to me and what I might need help to articulate when I'm mid-labour and in a vulnerable position.

AssassinatedBeauty · 17/12/2018 13:45

The midwife still shouldn't have done it without your consent, OohBabyBabeh. It's irrelevant whether you minded or not.

bunnyrabbit93 · 17/12/2018 13:47

It was definitely out of order. I don't know weather it's common practice but with my first DD I went to the maternity unit with contractions that wernt particually painful and bleeding but when she examined me she said I was 4 cm and in labour. She then said also I've done a sweep to help you along again no consent given I only gave consent for a examination.

SirVixofVixHall · 17/12/2018 14:04

This happened to me, and i was in so much pain that i started to cry and my dh had to insist she stopped before she would, even though I had told her she was really hurting me.
I am still angry now, it is essentially an assault. I would not have agreed to a sweep, i thought she was just inserting a pessary. My cervix was completely unready for labour, it was days before my due date, and they were trying to induce me ( pre eclampsia) . Unsurprisingly i ended up with a c section.

KTD27 · 17/12/2018 14:06

Absolutely not ok. At all. AT ALL.
Happened to me and I made a formal complaint. Liaise with PALS at your hospital and let them know.

OlennasWimple · 17/12/2018 14:10

Flowers ChikiTIKI

TenForward82 · 17/12/2018 14:11

@soeverybodydance I had the same as you. So my sweep made no difference. In fact I think it made things worse. At least they asked my consent though, something the OP was denied.

TenForward82 · 17/12/2018 14:11

@celebelly is correct.

LuvSmallDogs · 17/12/2018 14:23

In my first birth, I wasn’t asked or informed of things well at all. I was plonked flat on my back, and told I was going to have an episiotomy. Towards the end there were several MWs by my legs, muttering to each other - I think maybe considering forceps as DS1 was lodged in my pelvis and back to back?

A week ago I had DS3, and although things were quite stressful (meconium swallowed, raised heartbeat at one time, brief neonatal stay) I feel I’ve bounced back better emotionally because my MWs talked to me and asked permission and explained their reasoning.

Consent and being given control means a lot.

tynext · 17/12/2018 14:26

Right so once a woman becomes pregnant her body should belong to other people and she has no say in who touches or what they do? Confused

Of course women have a choice. It is the law that they have a choice to decline any procedure. In OP’s case it wasn’t even a situation that was rushed/life-threatening but one where consent could very easily have been gained.

It’s not a legal requirement for women to go along with what medical staff want or go along with hospital guidelines. They are offered a procedure. A health care professional can tell a woman they strongly recommend it, but they should not force it.

There’s also the fact that sometimes doctors have completely different views on what to do in the same situations. Some hospitals have differing policies and guidelines as well. So that complicates the idea that the healthcare staff should make every choice for you and will always know best in every situation. Very important for the woman to make the decision for her body/baby/life.

GrabEmByThePatriarchy · 17/12/2018 14:31

The doctors/nurses are not wrong: it's the illusion we have a choice which is wrong

This is wrong. You appear not to understand the law on consent, because you conflate obliging medical staff to perform a procedure, which we can't do, with refusing to consent to one, which we can. They're just not the same thing.

SparklesAndUnicorns · 17/12/2018 14:37

If you feel uncomfortable about it all then please do report it, she should have asked your consent, I was asked a few times with my first when I went over due but I said no and that was it and that's how it should be

ladydickisathingapparently · 17/12/2018 14:48

I didn’t give consent to my crash c-section under general anaesthetic. I couldn’t because ds3’s life was at stake, all because I’d been given a sweep to which I hadn’t consented.

One of those times I didn’t consent I’m absolutely ok with.

The other I’m not, because the doctor had EVERY OPPORTUNITY to explain what she was doing and check I was ok with it before proceeding.

The fact that in her mind I might have been ok with it is neither here nor there. The fact that it was “almost the same” as what she was already doing isn’t ok either. I’m astonished that anyone thinks this is acceptable.

Sugarsnappy · 17/12/2018 15:04

The same happened to me OP. I didn't complain, although did feel a bit funny about not being asked. Perhaps I should have complained.