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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is spoilt rotten behaviour for a 5 year old

47 replies

lindoee · 16/12/2018 22:32

My son has just turned 5 and to be fair he is generally a very good boy. He's happy and normally well behaved.

Recently I've been worrying that he has too many toys as toys that I would have loved as a child he doesn't seem that excited by. I thought maybe it's just the modern way of life.

Today I was upset by something he did.

A friend of mine knows my son loves space and so when he came to visit he brought him a space buggy with a mini figure in. He had made the space buggy himself with bits of Lego. He had clearly taken quite a bit of work making it and I was very touched.

When my son returned from being at his dads I gave him the space buggy. He liked the mini figure astronaut but then looked at the space buggy, declared that he 'didn't like the design' and literally threw it on the ground breaking it. He said he broke it as he didn't like it and didn't want to have to look at it. He then took the astronaut figure and played with his space shuttle.

His Dad said it's normal for a child. The buggy was a bit simple and that he liked the mini figure. I was actually disgusted and thought this behaviour was so spoilt and unacceptable.

I grew up in poverty so maybe my opinion is a little harsh but there's no way I'd have done anything like that at my sons age.

AIBU to think this behaviour is acting spoilt☺️?

OP posts:
Original poster
lindoee · 16/12/2018 22:33

Thankfully my friend was long gone before my son did this or he'd have been very hurt.

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 16/12/2018 22:36

I think he is a little young for you to be so disgusted. I would be cross and would explain to my five year old why but it wouldnt make me worry about my childs character or anything he is too young to be able to fully appreciate the effort your friend went to and the value of things. its your job to discuss this with him and help him to understand . Kids do shitty things sometimes.

PoliticalBiscuit · 16/12/2018 22:37

Well, that's certainly spoilt behaviour, but he's 5 and no concept of how much hard work went into a toy to make it so complex (as he's not capable of doing it himself). And I daresay whenever he has Lego he normally gets the joy of reconstructing it. He just wont get the concepts that you do - because for him he would normally view it in a different way.

Kids love breaking things up and knocking things over- sandcastles, jenga, your brother's building blocks...

That said I think most children, including my own, aren't as grateful and appreciative because they have so much - but the time to really work on how precious something is is before you hand it over, or maybe cover it in the kraggle first Grin

garethsouthgatesmrs · 16/12/2018 22:37

also it's likely he wouldnt have done this in front of your friend.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 16/12/2018 22:37

Ffs no of course that’s not normal child behaviour. His dad is enabling him. His behaviour will get worse if you don’t tackle it.

Dermymc · 16/12/2018 22:39

I think you are right, he seems spoilt.

PoliticalBiscuit · 16/12/2018 22:39

*sorry by spoiled behaviour I mean I understand why it stung personally. Eg - a child biting is nasty behaviour - but if that child is 18 months totally normal and not worth feeling guilty about!

HolesinTheSoles · 16/12/2018 22:39

I would say it's both normal and unacceptable. I don't think it means your son is a spoilt monster but I would definitely explain to my son that your friend had worked hard on the toy and it was special and he shouldn't have broken it as he'll be very sad. I'd maybe spend some time trying to put it back together again.

MeredithGrey1 · 16/12/2018 22:41

I think not liking it is fine, young children aren’t necessarily going to be aware that, when given a gift, you have to say nice things because it’s polite etc, and also he won’t have an awareness of the effort/thought that went into making it.

But breaking it because he didn’t like it (and didn’t want to look at it) isn’t ok in my opinion, and that’s the part I’d be more focused on wanting to change.

PoliticalBiscuit · 16/12/2018 22:45

It's Lego, he's only just turned 5 so when he "broke" it he wasn't breaking it - just returning it to it's 'natural state' of play.

I'm just realising I may be a Lego specific crunchy parent.

The rest of my house is decidedly none organic and no kale to be seen!

ohwellinthatcasetryprunes · 16/12/2018 22:52

Taking the present apart and changing it around to redesign it? That would be fine, it is Lego after all.

Taking the present, deliberately throwing it to the ground and smashing it because he didn't like it? Yes, spoilt brattish behaviour, sorry.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 16/12/2018 22:56

I wouldn’t be best impressed if my ds did that, I’d be taking the remains of the buggy and the figure and explaining that he wasn’t having them due to his behaviour.

Taking the buggy apart and re designing it is one thing, but he deliberately threw it and broke it, that’s behaviour that needs to be addressed and he needs to be told it’s not the way to behave.

IncomingCannonFire · 16/12/2018 23:00

Hm. It's definately undesirable and upsetting behavior. But probably normal for his age. Probably worth a life lesson/lecture for him now and remind him of how to behave in future.
Just reminded me to tell my 4yo to be grateful and nice to gift givers even if he doesn't like the gift. (although dh is very ungrateful and not a very good example).

diddl · 16/12/2018 23:01

I don't think that that's normal at all & I would probably have taken the figure away.

I would have thought he just wouldn't have shown an interest-not trashed it.

IncomingCannonFire · 16/12/2018 23:02

Actually the smashing it on the floor and throwing are unacceptable behaviors.

FestiveNut · 16/12/2018 23:03

I think it's disrespectful and deserves a consequence.

SnowyPaws5 · 16/12/2018 23:05

That is really spoilt behaviour and not normal. I've never known a child to break a brand new present on purpose. You need to have a serious word with him about being grateful and respecting things.

Mookatron · 16/12/2018 23:05

It's bad behaviour. He needs telling off / things explaining - but that's OK. He's only 5. You don't just know this stuff. Perfectly normal bad behaviour.

BumbleBeee69 · 16/12/2018 23:06

Spoiled definitely

Aeroflotgirl · 16/12/2018 23:08

Did yiu punish him for that behaviour, if you don't clamp down now, it will get more difficult. I say this from experience, I have had to do it with ds6, who is Mr Wants it and gimme gimmi attitude.

Yabbers · 16/12/2018 23:11

Horrible behaviour. I would have taken both things away and told him it would be given to a child who would be grateful for them.

At 5 years old they are old enough to know you don’t throw things on the floor just because you don’t like them. They are also old enough to understand a gift should be received gratefully.

cestlavielife · 16/12/2018 23:11

Lego is designed to be "broken"
It s not a good example is it?
Was he supposed to keep the Lego stuck together forever ?

tinstar · 16/12/2018 23:13

I wouldn't have punished him. I would have explained to him that someone had spent a lot of time and effort making it because they really like him and thought he would like the gift. And that the friend would have been very sad and upset to think ds had behaved like that. And then I'd have asked ds to imagine how he would feel if he made a gift for someone and they smashed it up.

What did you say to ds?

Iloveautumnleaves · 16/12/2018 23:13

It’s fairly normal for 5 year olds these days to be FAR less appreciative than we were. I’m probably older than you, we got next to nothing other than Birthdays & Christmas and so were far more excited about things and appreciative of them because they were LONGED for. Society’s has changed and they (pretty much) all get far too much, too often, to expect them to really appreciate stuff.

However, he didn’t just shrug and cast it aside (which would have been rude enough), he destroyed it and that’s completely unacceptable.

Is he usually ‘difficult’ when he comes back from his Dad’s?

Had his Dad come into your house or did you text him about it?

Aeroflotgirl · 16/12/2018 23:13

That is not the point, he threw it as he did not like it, that was unacceptable. If he had dropped it be accident or the break was accidental, that is totally different.

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