To ask for your worst secret Santa gifts (nicked from daily fail)

[tinyme77]

I've always been lucky but it sounds like that is not always the case.

Someone once gave me a smashed up photo of my husband. They'd framed it and stepped on it. No idea why they thought it was funny. He was their boss and they didn't always click. I was visibly upset though obviously and it ruined the mood in the office.

I used to work in an office of about 40 people and each year we did secret santa. One year the boss decided to do it differently and we had a £10 budget but instead of buying for specific people, we were told to just buy a gift, put them under the tree and they would be allocated out. Only one of the gifts was a vibrator. A few of the guys had all bought the same beer set, and everyone swore it wasn't them. No one would own up to it and as people didn't have receipts there was nothing that could be done to proove who it was. There wasn't CCTV in the office (annoying, there was outside but not in the office itself). It wasn't a funny joke or anything really, it made us feel like crap. Fortunately I didn't get it myself.

I bought a gun that fired tiny pigs and a miniature of vodka to put it. The guy who got it really liked it and was firing the pigs around the office for weeks. Lol.

This year I bought my football mad SS a mug of his team with his name on (as he didn’t have his own work mug) went down well. I got a bottle of my favourite wine and some Prosecco sweets. I was rather pleased.

Worst one was one done with a group of friends, we all had lovely gifts but one girl was given a book called ‘places to visit before you die’. Interesting but she had lost both her parents that year so it seemed very insensitive

If you read one of the other threads, there is someone researching blow up Jesus dolls. I think the recipient of that secret Santa gift may well be on this thread in the next couple of days.

What should have been my worst SS was my best one! Colleague on mat leave was coming to xmas meal and wanted to be included in SS, with me doing her "name out the jar" on her behalf. I picked myself out 3 times in a row but she was happy with it as we're in retail so fast turnover & xmas temps. At least she knew me. She has lovely taste so I was happy. Our theme that year was stationery and I don't get as excited over it as some. She knew I was fussy and was so busy with her baby that she got me a huge lindor bon bon instead on a Waitrose panic dash. The ones I can never justify buying myself. Much better than a pretty biro!

I also fixed that SS so that someone who knew her had her (I asked them) as I knew 2 newbies had put her name back in the jar already. So I considered my sweeties my just reward!

My actual worst was a very cheaply made style over function Michael Buble calendar. Calendars are meant to be useful, not just wall art, this one looked to have been printed and assembled by the giver on substandard paper and card, wonkily, and I hate Michael Buble.

One year I got a plastic pen with a boxing glove on the end from the £1 shop (another colleague had broken it by the end of the day) and a cheap eyebrow pencil (I use pomade). The limit was £20 but we all knew each other really well, so many people had spent way over that and received bottles of spirits, personalised gifts, perfume and jewellery, so that gift hurt a bit.

Another year, I got a gift card for the company that we worked for.

I think I am probs the oldest at my workplace, but I just got a gift set of EDT and body spray.
Which would be nice if they were from, say Body Shop, but they are Yardley English Rose and now I feel ancient.

In my first year of uni we set a £10 limit... I received a packet of Fox's mints wrapped in tin foil!

I once received a self help book called ‘Pause’ about mindfulness, taking time etc. I was mortified and felt like someone in my team had basically wrapped up a sign saying ‘chill the F out’. Turns out that the present buyer thought it was a book about yoga and had heard that it was a hobby of mine .

We did it this year where you fill a pair of Christmas socks with silly little gifts. Nothing expensive, it's just fun to see the silly things people find.

I got a scratchcard in mine.

Some people are so mean

I quite like the idea of everyone bringing in an unwrapped present, then all the presents are put on the table. Names are then drawn out of a hat and you go up in order of names drawn and pick something from the table. Less chance of anyone being offended this way!

The problem with Secret Santa is one person’s idea of a lazy, thoughtless gift is another’s ideal gift. You can’t win!

The funniest I got was when someone went way over the price limit.
We invited a group of contractors to join us that we worked with day in day out and they had a newish boss who has never seen our SS type gifts so ‘advised’ him......
All the gifts were picked out at random and me, the only single one after a messy divorce received who has never smoked........a pack of condoms and 20 cigarettes!!!
At the time I was a bit ‘ok.........’ and not impressed thinking it was from someone else. The next day I was enlightened not only to who had bought them but how mortified he was when he realised he’d been done over by his team!!!!
On hearing what had happened I burst u laughing and it ended up being a great present ie a good laugh (conforms got binned and smoking workmate appreciated the ciggies!)

I had a lovely reed scent thingy and a cook book (which I already have but it is a nice one)!

Chocolates. Today.

Last year's was shit..theme was something for your desk..everyone else got something really thoughtful like a mug which was tailored to them.. pretty lights to.go round monitors or a desk game type thing. I got chocolates. Zero thought put into it. I was annoyed!

I've decided that if I ever draw myself out for the secret santa, I'm keeping quiet and getting myself something I actually like. I've had generic stuff before now, and one or two crap things. But in general, people are nice so I'm not complaining about them just that it might be nice to buy something I like.....

A spice diffuser, as good as a blooming candle to me.

I once got a huuge box of Milk Tray. I got sick of hearing “all because the lady loves”.

We do dirty Santa with a £10 budget (you can steal presents). I ended up with a nerf gun so very pleased and I have wielded it on several conference calls much to the hilarity of my staff!

We dont do secret Santa anymore as last year someone got a bottle of piss in a wine bottle and someone else spent £300 on the girl they fancied who wasn't interested in him!

Three years running l got an assortment of chocolate body paints, a sex manual, and condoms.
As my marriage was in dire straits at the time, when l got home with the sex manual, l hid it in a drawer under some clothes til l could dispose of it. When my husband 'found' it he kicked off big time.
"Who the fuck have you got this for?" and words to that effect. Wouldn't believe me that it was from the Secret Santa because 'nobody would buy that for somebody else'.
l later found out it was from the girl l car shared with. She knew about my relationship problems, so l don't quite know what she was thinking.

Another year, a very young (20) very pretty girl on my shift received red sequin nipple tassels in the Secret Santa.We all laughed thinking it was one of the girls who had bought them for her. Weeks later a 50+ man in our office admitted he'd bought them.