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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my engine running for ten mins at 6.45 each morning (M-F)?

801 replies

ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:21

Neighbours have just come to the door with a Christmas card and a polite request to be more quiet in the mornings.

I usually leave at 7am to drop dd at breakfast club and get myself to work at 8am (I work Mon-Fri only - no weekends).

Now it's getting colder, the car is unbearably cold in the mornings so last week I started nipping out 10-15 mins earlier while dd was brushing her teeth so the car would be warm for us getting in and the frost/ice would be mostly melted from the window.

Neighbours have revealed that they are normally woken by me leaving most mornings at 7am but they can put up with it as I leave immediately so they are able to go back to sleep. However, they are not willing to put up with what I've been doing recently as they have found it impossible to go back to sleep having been awake for so long waiting for me to leave with the engine running ... Hmm

They have suggested I park further away from the house.

This is my first winter with these neighbours. They only moved in beginning of the year and we're polite to each other but not any more than 'hello' acquaintances. We live very rurally - just our two houses - in woodland area. Any noise carries and it is mostly silent (why I moved here - now I'm the one being a noise pest, it would appear). No street lights. 5 minute drive down our landlord's private (god awful road) onto the public road where there are other houses.

If I parked further away, that is further for me and DD to walk to the car each morning - in the pitch black - with our bags. Likewise, it is further for us to walk to the house each evening when we get back.

Not sure what the solution is. I told them I wasn't keen to park farther away (due to the above concerns) but they've asked me to give it a try at least for tomorrow. I've agreed to try it.

AIBU to ask for your ideas on what a peaceful resolution to this would be?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 17/12/2018 10:03

It took ten minutes from starting the car for that to happen and 15 minutes for the screen to be completely clear

Your car is shit at demisting then. Or your car is excessively damp inside.

BoebePhuffay · 17/12/2018 10:05

Yes, it’s shit at demisting. How does that change the fact I need to let it idle to demist it? Have I to buy a new car now to please the MN eco warriors?

Mydogisforlife · 17/12/2018 10:22

And by the way, to the Canadian poster who claimed -2C is balmy in comparison to her country, you're not comparing like with like.

Even above zero, the damp air and biting winds in Scotland are far more penetrating and feel far more bitterly cold than the equivalent in Canada or central Europe. I speak with some experience.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 17/12/2018 10:33

Have I to buy a new car now to please the MN eco warriors?

I'm sorry you feel this way. You should not doing anything to please anyone, you should be doing it for you and your family. It's your children and your family and your neighbours who are breathing in your fumes, why don't you think this way, rather than being unnecessarily defensive?

Orchiddingme · 17/12/2018 10:35

BoebePhuffa we had a car like this, the car was basically damp, wet inside. I suggest getting some absorber type products, the pound shop sell them, or someone suggested cat litter gel- it's the same stuff. I used these and it helped a lot. You do have to run the car if your car is like this- also if it's been raining a lot, but you could tackle the problem from more than one angle.

PigletJohn · 17/12/2018 10:50

On "demisting" just to check:

You do have your heater blower set on high, with the "air intake" on, not on "recirculate?"

"Recirculate" just sends the steamy air round and round inside the car.

PigletJohn · 17/12/2018 10:54

Adam

I pour hot water on frosted car windows and windscreens.

Guess how many times I have had it crack?

None.

Nor has the engineer who showed me, who did it for 60 years and used a kettle.

He used to say he found extra pleasure in watching the neighbiurs who expected (wrongly) that it would crack.

brizzledrizzle · 17/12/2018 11:04

You do have your heater blower set on high, with the "air intake" on, not on "recirculate?"

I do this, my car is terrible at clearing but I find a blast with the air con on cold will clear any mist very quickly. As for the ice, we both take a hot drink to the car (with a lid) and put it on the dashboard for a few minutes - that soon melts it.

Not this morning though, I had to scrape the ice off the inside of the window.

wombat1a · 17/12/2018 11:09

YUBU and I suspect your insurance company would terminate your insurance if they knew and that would be v v v expensive.

Lookingforadvice123 · 17/12/2018 11:15

Yes YABU purely from an environmental point of view. You should only leave the engine running to clear frost from the windscreen if it's very very quick. If it takes longer than a minute or two you should be scraping it at the same time.

You shouldn't have to park further away - YANBU to wake them just because you're leaving the house, that's life. But v v U to leave the engine running.

BoebePhuffay · 17/12/2018 12:27

It's your children and your family and your neighbours who are breathing in your fumes, why don't you think this way, rather than being unnecessarily defensive?

It is not unnecessarily defensive to explain the reasons why something must be done a certain way Hmm there are lots of things we all must do that we would rather not for the sake of our family and others around us. If I could I would walk to work. I can’t, however, earn enough money when I’m walking 10 miles between jobs carrying a Hoover, a mop and bucket and a cleaning caddy. So I choose the “convenience” of a car, so I can, you know, feed my children. The fumes are an unfortunate by product of that.

Yes air con on high, not recirculating.

Thanks orchid, I will try those absorber things.

masterandmargarita · 17/12/2018 12:31

It is a little defensive to call people with different views 'mumsnet eco- warriors'. I'm just glad my bicycle doesn't have a wind screen Wink

Excited101 · 17/12/2018 12:37

YABVU I don’t start my engine until I’m literally about to drive off, I use the water from the previous nights hot water bottle to melt the ice off the windows safely. I then sit freezing in my car for a good few minutes before it starts to warm up- like most people do.

Liciaflorrick · 17/12/2018 13:01

I am so shocked that anyone would do this. and not realise how selfish it is....seriously?!

IgglePiggleWiggle · 17/12/2018 13:06

Never mind the neighbors the environmental cost is huge. Put a blanket over her knees (a wool one left on the radiator before you go out) and leave her a planet that functions.

possumgoddess · 17/12/2018 13:07

Actually, depending on the situation, it is not necessarily unreasonable in my opinion. We have a parking area outside our house and two immediate neighbours. Some days we have to leave for work at 7a.m. we have to have our engine running for a while before we leave as without it we just can't see out of the windscreen. We do scrape the windows, it is not the outside of the windows that is the problem, it is in the inside. Until they are demisted it is not safe for us to drive off. We go as soon as it is safe to do so, and we don't switch the headlights on until we are ready to go. We have demister pads in the car, we also have dehumidifier pots in the car, but it still takes several minutes for the windscreen to be clear enough to drive safely.

MagnificentSevenHeaven · 17/12/2018 13:07

I go out, start the engine & then start scraping.

By the time I've finished scraping the windscreen has normally demisted too & I can drive off safely with full vision out of all windows.

Even if you have a windscreen cover you still have to demist the windows, which needs the air to at least be starting to warm.

Unless some of you are the idiots I see driving down the road peering through a tiny clear patch in the windscreen with all of the other windows steamed up.

MagnificentSevenHeaven · 17/12/2018 13:08

but it still takes several minutes for the windscreen to be clear enough to drive safely.

Exactly.

nickiredcar · 17/12/2018 13:09

My neighbour does this and he's a bolding middle aged guy with a shitty car that sounds like a plane taking off. Rev and rev and rev. I despise him and think twat every day.

splishsplashsploshsplishsplash · 17/12/2018 13:09

Yes! My neighbours do this and leave their lights on too! Drives me mad, shines right into my bedroom window. I lie there thinking I really need to say something, but not sure how!

MagnificentSevenHeaven · 17/12/2018 13:09

leave her a planet that functions

You might want to drop India, China & the USA a memo then.

They're your problem.

BoebePhuffay · 17/12/2018 13:16

It is a little defensive to call people with different views 'mumsnet eco- warriors

Ok, eco condescenders- but only when it isn’t an activity they do. Better fit I think.

AdoreTheBeach · 17/12/2018 13:16

We know someone who had their car stolen going this! Semi rural too. I believe you also invalidate your insurance leaving the car running and unattended.

Do get the windscreen protectors for front and vack. This way you don’t have to scrape or wait for frost to melt. It’s not unreasonable to start the car a few minutes (@3 or so) before driving off when it’s really cold. Usually, I start my car, then grab my scraper to clear windows. Inside is warmed up by the time I’m done.

Being in such an unusually quiet area, your neighbours are not making an unreasonable request. While YANBU to warm your car, the length of time is unreasonable.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 17/12/2018 13:25

You might want to drop India, China & the USA a memo then.

They're your problem

That is true. They are a problem.

But when I walk on a cold winter morning past cars with running engines then their fumes are my immediate problem as well, because I have to breathe the filthy exhaust fumes. You can see and smell them, they hang around for minutes.
A car that drives past in a residential area is gone quickly. A car that's left running is much worse, for the air and for noise.

Don't be that person.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 17/12/2018 13:27

Boebe only on Mumsnet would you be expected to buy a new car rather than demist it like the rest of the population! No doubt the same people who think you should be able to move house at the drop of a hat.