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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my engine running for ten mins at 6.45 each morning (M-F)?

801 replies

ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:21

Neighbours have just come to the door with a Christmas card and a polite request to be more quiet in the mornings.

I usually leave at 7am to drop dd at breakfast club and get myself to work at 8am (I work Mon-Fri only - no weekends).

Now it's getting colder, the car is unbearably cold in the mornings so last week I started nipping out 10-15 mins earlier while dd was brushing her teeth so the car would be warm for us getting in and the frost/ice would be mostly melted from the window.

Neighbours have revealed that they are normally woken by me leaving most mornings at 7am but they can put up with it as I leave immediately so they are able to go back to sleep. However, they are not willing to put up with what I've been doing recently as they have found it impossible to go back to sleep having been awake for so long waiting for me to leave with the engine running ... Hmm

They have suggested I park further away from the house.

This is my first winter with these neighbours. They only moved in beginning of the year and we're polite to each other but not any more than 'hello' acquaintances. We live very rurally - just our two houses - in woodland area. Any noise carries and it is mostly silent (why I moved here - now I'm the one being a noise pest, it would appear). No street lights. 5 minute drive down our landlord's private (god awful road) onto the public road where there are other houses.

If I parked further away, that is further for me and DD to walk to the car each morning - in the pitch black - with our bags. Likewise, it is further for us to walk to the house each evening when we get back.

Not sure what the solution is. I told them I wasn't keen to park farther away (due to the above concerns) but they've asked me to give it a try at least for tomorrow. I've agreed to try it.

AIBU to ask for your ideas on what a peaceful resolution to this would be?

OP posts:
masterandmargarita · 16/12/2018 22:13

Boebe - I was talking about the concept in general being selfish if early. I had no idea when you personally did it. 8.40 is not unreasonable.

CanSurvive · 16/12/2018 22:19

@ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough how about plug in electric seat warmers or a plug in blanket for your daughter? Sounds like you’ve got an older car and they go in the cigarette lighter

3luckystars · 16/12/2018 22:22

7 am is not late.

If i didnt have work or kids, I would stay in bed until 1 O'clock every day. At least.

Lucked · 16/12/2018 22:26

I am going to try the air con too my Volvo takes an age to demist the windows, anything to get going a bit quicker in the mornings.

elaine26 · 16/12/2018 22:29

I've been giving my twins a hot water bottle on the way to school recently as my heater takes ages to warm up, you could pop in on dd's seat 5 mins before you leave and use a jug of warm water on the windows, quick and easy and no annoying neighbours or trailing dd milea to your car

WaitrosePigeon · 16/12/2018 22:33

Did you bother reading the whole thread?

Yes I did.

Must have missed it, easily done Smile

DeepanKrispanEven · 16/12/2018 23:41

Oh come on. In harsh winter it takes 10 minutes to defrost your car

Not if you've put covers over the windows.

I'm slightly puzzled by the people who take so long to demist their screens. My car's 12 years old but the demister takes around half a minute to clear the windscreen.

justilou1 · 17/12/2018 02:11

If you throw warm water onto frozen glass it can shatter your windows. I wouldn't go there. You can buy spray from most pound shops to quickly get the ice off the windows. (I believe vinegar can do the job too.) (Wouldn't waste alcohol, though!). Make sure you have antifreeze in your water sprayer thingies and that will help also if you spray onto the windows. The hot water bottles are a great idea and so is keeping a couple of fleece blankets in the car and carrying some warm chocolate or milk or herbal tea (depending on how old your kids are and what they like to drink) in some thermal mugs and making a special ritual out of it for them.

endofthelinefinally · 17/12/2018 02:25

I used to leave for work at 7.00.
As soon as I was dressed I put 2 hot water bottles on the dashboard, went back in to finish breakfast, then put the hwb at my back and on my lap till the car warmed up.
Easy, quiet and effective.
No way would I disturb my neighbours by leaving the engine running.

whispertomegently · 17/12/2018 02:37

If you buy some wheat or rice and put it in an old pillow case. Knot it well or sew it. If you sew it shut, one pillow case makes two.

You have two large wheat bags to pop in microwave. They are big enough to be lap bags, and this with a blanket over your daughters knees will keep her very toasty.

Cheap too. About 47p each to make.

CaliHummers · 17/12/2018 06:54

Hope the environment worriers on here take heed when they get on the big polluting airplanes for their holidays

I rarely fly so yes, thanks, I do take heed. I do various things to try to keep my footprint on the environment light. Not sure why you would think otherwise to be honest. It's not done out of some sort of smugness or virtue signalling. It's genuine concern for how we are treating the planet and environmental concerns are a rule I live by.

Ruleof4 · 17/12/2018 06:59

Genuine question; if you manage to actually clear the windows with warm etc, aside from being warm the vision isn't usually great for another five minutes or so, how is it safe to drive straight away without leaving the engine running for at least five minutes to allow the windows to clear? I always worry about contributing to pollution and the environment so switch off my engine whilst stationary!

Cherries101 · 17/12/2018 07:02

Water to defrost won’t work in Northern Scotland. It will just refreeze. Best bet is to scrape it off.

jarhead123 · 17/12/2018 07:07

Agree @Ruleof4.

Those saying don't leave it running to warm up, surely you can't jump straight in and drive. You must sit on the drive with it running for a few mins at least?!

waxy1 · 17/12/2018 07:10

Don’t let it idle.

Set a brick on the throttle pedal to make it warm up faster.

dragonflyinn10 · 17/12/2018 08:10

@CaliHummers but does it stop you from flying ?? Will you absolutely NOT go on an aeroplane because it's impact on the environment?? Or drive in general ? All in or out right most cars need running for at least 5-10 minutes to drive SAFELY as it's as every bit against the law to drive without a clear windscreen as much as leaving it to idle but as we pay the congestion charge/low emissions charges the environment is saved.....

loveka · 17/12/2018 08:52

She is saying she does this every day though. It is about being warm in the car, not removing ice from the windscreen.

Of course you need to remove ice, but she is mostly idling the car just so the interior is warm for her to sit in. Which is selfish.

XiCi · 17/12/2018 09:28

Why can't you just jump in and drive jarhead, it's exactly what I do. Throw warm water over the windows to defrost, get straight into the car and go. The heaters stop the windows from frosting up again.

BoebePhuffay · 17/12/2018 09:34

Well I did an experiment this morning. I didn’t turn the car on to idle while the windscreen cleared. I just jumped in, wiped the screen with a cloth and started to drive. Didn’t make it very far before I had to pull in and wipe the screen again. And then again. Decided on the second pulling in just to stay there until the screen had cleared enough to see safely. It took ten minutes from starting the car for that to happen and 15 minutes for the screen to be completely clear. I’ll be starting the car 15 minutes before I leave the house tomorrow morning. I have no interest in ploughing down small children to satisfy some smug MNers.

XiCi · 17/12/2018 09:49

No ones saying to just wipe your screen though. Get some de-icer or pour warm water on or better still get a cover. I have one from Aldi that works perfectly well.

Or just carry on really pissing off your neighbours for your own convenience, sounds like that's the option you prefer

randomsabreuse · 17/12/2018 09:49

Wiping always leaves nasty smears too, that add to dazzle in low sun. In winter it takes time to actually be safe to drive!

BoebePhuffay · 17/12/2018 09:57

Most of my neighbours are gone by 8:30 so no, I’m not pissing anyone off.

De-icer or warm water does nothing for the fog on the inside of the windscreen!! Do you actually drive?

Yes random, I had big bubbly smears over the screen and had to keep wiping. Cloth got wet so was doing more damage than help by that stage. Had to just sit and wait for heaters to do their job.

Mydogisforlife · 17/12/2018 09:57

Even with de-icer it mists up inside and a wipe doesn't solve that.
Covering the windscreen overnight helps, but you have to be sure the car is safe to drive and that takes some minutes whatever you do.

Letting it run just to heat it up for your own comfort is a different matter.

BoebePhuffay · 17/12/2018 10:00

Even if my neighbours were home, we live on a busy road. Traffic from before 6 in the mornings. Including sirens from nearby ambulance and police stations. A car idling goes unnoticed.

AdamNichol · 17/12/2018 10:01

Only got thru first 8 pages, so sorry if repeating anyone.

YAN really BU. Though 5-10 would be better than 10-15 mins.

Sonund - The neighbours are moaning about the noise of a car idling? Surely they must shit a brick if anyone drove past their house then. Do they get all curtain twitchy if they hear footsteps coming along?

Environment - the whole leaving a car to idle law is badly thought thru and over-broad. If you drive a car off with the engine cold it will burn thru oil until it's up to temperature. This is worse for the environment than leaving it to get up to temperature before you drive away. It's also better for the longevity of the engine and it's general fuel efficiency.

Frost guards - don't work. If they did, everyone would have them. But they don't so we don't. Also does literally nothing for the misting up of the inside of the screen. Which often can't be wiped clear, because 2 seconds later it's misted up again just like every bathroom mirror.

Hot water - sure, pour hot water onto frozen glass. That'll be much quieter when it shatters and the shouting begins.

7:00 - even if you don't have to be up at this time (no sympathy from me, I have to be out of the house before 6:00), it's a perfectly commonplace time for the workers and/or school-runners of the world to be going about their travels.

I would say your neighbours are BU. They move into a place, then start laying down the rules as to what they find disturbs their sleep at 7am. Do they insist the postal worker wears slippers? Do the milk bottles all have to wear jackets to stop them rattling. Do the birds have to wait in soundproof cages until later in the morning. Diddums. Grow the fuck up.