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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to shout through the wall at my neighbour?

66 replies

Wheresmyshittingmeat · 16/12/2018 08:36

I'm bloody sick of listening to them loudly and constantly shagging. Of course they can do what they like in their own home but I don't want to hear the graphic details. Yesterday morning they woke me up at 6 am and it went on for ages so I couldn't get back to sleep. Got back to sleep and they were at it again by 9 and she's shouting! For context, I've heard them through my earphones and actually downstairs in my lounge! Also I have a teenage dd who has heard it before I moved her into a different room.

So, yesterday morning I went up the adjoining wall while they were in flagrante delicto abd screamed "will you just shut up". I thought it best not to swear. They did shut up but dp thought I was being unreasonable?! Thoughts?

OP posts:
Dvg · 16/12/2018 09:46

My neighbours are always at it as Well.. she sounds like a dying animal but thankfully they only last about 2 minutes if that haha :D

mumsastudent · 16/12/2018 09:49

place radio/cd or whatever close to wall & turn music on loud! more subtle than yelling at them but just as effective

IThinkIJustShatMyself · 16/12/2018 09:51

Just start cheering when they finish. That would shut me up pretty quickly! 😳

SlowlyShrinking · 16/12/2018 09:55

They may not have realised you can hear them. Hopefully this will do the trick and they’ll be quiet from now on. I do cringe a bit about how often the neighbours might have heard me, years ago in my youth and at the start of a new relationship 😬😬
In my defence, I just didn’t know how thin the walls were - because my neighbours were quiet - so didn’t occur to me that they’d be able to hear me.

Juells · 16/12/2018 09:59

Bluntness100
Ask him if he'd sit watching porn with your teenager? I can't see any difference

Seriously?

There isn't a huge difference between playing a porno movie very loudly in the next room to a child, and hearing sexual shenanigans.

I love the suggestion to record them and put the USB stick through their letterbox.

BewareOfDragons · 16/12/2018 10:06

Hopefully they'll be quiet now. I don't blame you for being fed up.

DaysOfCurlySpencer · 16/12/2018 10:10

Play this against the wall

HolesinTheSoles · 16/12/2018 10:19

Definitely follow these suggestions.If it was just a single guy or woman listening to really loud porn all morning you'd definitely complain and the effect of this is exactly the same.

Ceilingrose · 16/12/2018 10:20

I'm curious about what your DH meant about not taking into account how it affects him!

brizzledrizzle · 16/12/2018 10:29

Play you take my breath away with the speakers turned to the wall.

Boredspice · 16/12/2018 10:44

When I was a teenager my neighbours bedroom linked mine. He got a girlfriend and she was the most ridiculously loud person during sex. Full on shrieking. I was about 14 and mortified. It was so loud I spent weeks thinking it was my parents! When I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mum how uncomfortable it made me, we realised it was the neighbour! It would often start about 2am and go on until 4am. I have no idea how anybody has energetic sex at that time and still gets up for work. In the end I banged on the wall. It shut them up. He then sold up and moved a couple of months later.

Ridiculous. Honestly, having loud sex like that in a semi detached?! And I wondered how on earth they could believe I couldn’t hear them. I could hear them cough through the wall so they must have heard my music etc!!

anniehm · 16/12/2018 10:51

Buy a detached house ... obviously not an option for everyone so a note through the door and if it continues most nights do contact the council, you have a right to enjoy your house in peace. I suspect though people don't realise how thin walls can be! We have sound proofed through internal insulation and are detached (not because of noisy sex but my kids are musicians!) it's quite effectivea d reduced heating costs

llangennith · 16/12/2018 11:01

When single mum next door had a new boyfriend a few years ago the sex was ridiculously loud. After listening to it a few times and finally feeling exasperated I banged on the wall and yelled SHUT UP each and every time after. They did quieten down soon after and fortunately that relationship ended.

Fridaydreamer · 16/12/2018 11:04

I had to write a letter to the neighbours once and explain to them that I’d didn’t want my then 4yo DD listening to a porn soundtrack in an afternoon.

They did quieten down. Then she got pregnant and it all stopped Grin thank Christ they moved out not long after.

IchWill · 16/12/2018 13:17

My NDN teenage son recently got into the routine of playing loud (c)rap music before his parents got in from work. Playing it in the living room, which shares a wall with my living room. Had a lot of bass too, which was so noisy.

It was so loud I could hear it over my TV. I banged on the wall a couple of times, which made no difference. So as I heard one of his songs coming to an end, I then put Kerrang! channel on and turned my TV to its highest volume.

Funnily enough, he seemed to get the hint at the thin walls and turned it right down. As did I.

Hopefully he enjoyed some proper music through my retaliation too. Grin

AGHHHH · 16/12/2018 13:44

Yanbu

You can't dictate when people have sex of course but they CAN control how loud they are when they do it!

I'm guessing

#virgin

ImNotKitten · 16/12/2018 14:38

Banging on the walls is just rude and likely to cause bad feelings on both side. Not exactly the best idea when your aim is for them to be more considerate.

AGHHHH · 16/12/2018 15:00

Christ how is this newsworthy?

lalaroo · 16/12/2018 15:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Panicwiththebisto · 16/12/2018 15:55

When I lived in a bedsit I would hear this most evenings.

First he would call her a "stupid cow"
Next he would be shouting out "her" faults with her pleading with him to stop.
Finally the bed would be banging against the wall for about 2 minutes.

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 16/12/2018 16:02

We've got new neighbors moving in next month. I hope this will never be a problem I have to deal with! Used to elderly people next door. It sounds like you do need to have a word....particularly if it's affecting your sleep.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 16/12/2018 16:12

I once played “I wanna do it with you” by Barry Manilow through a hotel wall. It worked!

Original poster
Wheresmyshittingmeat · 16/12/2018 18:01

OMG it's in the Scottish Sun! They've mixed mine with a similar one as I haven't moved dd out of her bedroom. Indeed, how is that news worthy?!

OP posts:
Verbena87 · 16/12/2018 18:07

With any luck they’ll conceive, and then shagging, noisy or otherwise, will become a distant memory!