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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that I shouldn’t have to drive for more than an hour because party is being held really far away and not locally - re my dd

65 replies

wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:30

Just dropped off dd at a party - the house is about 10 minutes drive from ours - now I am back home so that was 20 minutes drive in total. All good.

They are going out to a restaurant — a bunch of 12 / 13 year olds with the parents of the birthday person, and are getting there by public transport.

They then want all kids to be picked up at the restaurant. Which is about 25 minutes drive from my house and a very busy area which has parking issues. I need to leave the house in 1.45 hours to then drive for 50 minutes and for this party will have driven for an hour and ten minutes in total.

AIBU to think that they could have gone to a local restaurant, or could have gone back to their house by public transport so that all the parents doing pick ups don’t have to travel for miles.

Maybe I am being unreasonable Confused?

I would not presume that people wanted to do pick ups and drop offs miles away. It will take me longer than 25 minutes to get there as well because of the traffic and rain as well Angry.

Are we all supposed to spend the entire evening driving because someone decides they can’t stay in the area Angry.

Sorry, bit miffed. Maybe I am being unreasonable though.

OP posts:
EdwardScissorskills · 15/12/2018 17:33

“It’s an invitation, not a summons”

HollowTalk · 15/12/2018 17:35

I think the parents should be bringing them all home again.

Snowwontbelong · 15/12/2018 17:35

I usually ask around for a lift one way for the dc!!
Shy bairns get nowt!!

Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:36

Yes I know but dd didn’t know the details and I found out as I was leaving the house with her.

Too late to say no actually, it’s too far away.

I would never expect people to drive so far and there are plenty of closer options - even belonging to the same chain.

OP posts:
Huntawaymama · 15/12/2018 17:36

Yabu

MrsBungle · 15/12/2018 17:36

We live rurally and most kids parties round here take place in more exciting venues in the city so I regularly take my kids on journeys up to an hour! Doesn’t really bother me, they enjoy the parties.

SoyDora · 15/12/2018 17:36

You could have declined.
This wouldn’t bother me, the closest town is around a 25 minute drive so I’m used to it. If you don’t want to do it, say no.

MissingSummer · 15/12/2018 17:37

Did you not know this when you agreed for your DD to go? Or was it sprung on you when you dropped her off? If the former, I'd say there's no point being miffed because you knew the deal and chose to let her go anyway. If the latter, then yes, you are entitled to be a bit miffed Smile

Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:37

Sorry that was to Edward.

Yes I agree the parents should be bringing them back.

Too late to share the driving but next time I will try and do that.

OP posts:
Azadewow · 15/12/2018 17:37

Unless you were only informed of party plans when you dropped off DD, then you are being unreasonable. If you had known in advance you should have either tried to arrange with some of the other parents to see if anyone would be willing to collect your DD in addition to their own child, or you could have chosen to decline the invite.

MissingSummer · 15/12/2018 17:38

Ah ok, cross post. Yeah, a bit annoying if you didn't know in advance.

SoyDora · 15/12/2018 17:38

Did they only give you the details as you were leaning, or is that just when you bothered to ask?

Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:39

Yes I was thinking that rurally this kind of thing would happen, but we are the complete opposite of rural and there are lots of closer options. Yes it was sprung on me by dd as we were leaving the house.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 15/12/2018 17:40

You could have asked your DD the details before though?

Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:40

is that just when you bothered to ask?

It has all been done through DD and she only told me at the last minute literally. I knew she was going to her friend’s house - that’s all.

OP posts:
Azadewow · 15/12/2018 17:41

But that's not the party hosts fault its your DDs for not informing you sooner and yours for not finding out sooner. My children are still toddlers but I can't imagine blindly agreeing to party invites in the future without knowing specifics about the party?!

Azadewow · 15/12/2018 17:42

Maybe she knew you would say no if you knew what the party involved Grin

SoyDora · 15/12/2018 17:42

Yes, not the hosts fault that your DD didn’t give you the details earlier and therefore didn’t give you the option to decline/make other arrangements.

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 17:43

25 minutes would be the other side of the city for me. Not really all that far in my opinion. Bit weird they are only doing g transportation one way. I would have not done transportation at all and just had parents drop the kid off at the restaurant.

Yabu

Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:44

I always knew the specifics when they were smaller too. I knew it was at this girl’s house, and thought they would be staying there.

I can accept I am being unreasonable if that’s what people think - just checking.

I do think it’s a lot to expect though when by getting the same public transport option back to their house, they can make everyone’s lives easier.

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 17:45

Perhaps this restaurant is a favorite of the party girl? There may be other closer options, but the birthday girl doesn’t like them.

Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:47

It’s a chain though and there are closer ones - maybe they were booked.

Anyway maybe I am turning into Scrooge Sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
wondering1101 · 15/12/2018 17:48

Maybe she knew you would say no if you knew what the party involved

Yes Grin. And I wouldn’t really have been able to say no in any case Grin.

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 17:51

Even though it is a chain restaurant, it is possible that is her favorite. The atmosphere in different chain locations can be vastly different. Sometimes the food even tastes a bit different.

BackforGood · 15/12/2018 17:56

Bit annoying to have found out now, but it's hardly a really long way. I live in a City and, yes, there are places near and places that take longer to get to, but I'd consider a 25min drive within a reasonable range to take / fetch one of mine. I would however have lift shared. Even if finding out at the drop off - I'd have offered to bring others back if I was going anyway, thereby storing "brownie points" with the other parents for future occasions Wink. Srely at 12, they have mobile phones - text them and tell them to have that conversation now - no point in all the parents doing the drive when 1 could bring 4 teens home.

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