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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think close friends husband fat shamed me?

78 replies

Livelaughlovetoday · 15/12/2018 12:59

After a lunch on the go with my friend, her DH and our children. Friends DH wanted to go and get somr dessert for himself and wanted to take the kids with him into the shop to choose something sweet too. I asked for a chocolate bar and proceeded to give my child 20 quid. Friends DH then tells me I don’t need a chocolate! To which I respond that I would like one. So he then reminds me what I’ve just had for lunch. (A few of my children’s chips). So I point out that he had just eaten a pizza! I thought he was joking and laughed. Off they go and when they return him and the kids are munching on their sweets and dessert and there’s nothing for me!

I was so taken aback! My DS came and sat by me and offered to share (even though I never said anything).

Except I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive? Feel like I need to say something to him. WWYD?

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 15/12/2018 13:47

No really, this OP has posted many times about people who have slighted her.

So maybe this is where she chooses to vent?

Oblomov18 · 15/12/2018 13:48

Thank you LimitIsUp. I do! I do indeed! Grin

90mammasophie · 15/12/2018 13:51

I don't think it's that bad.
Not very tactful. Probably just forgot to get anything for you in the shop since looking after the kids.

CookPassBabtridge · 15/12/2018 13:55

That's terrible. He took it upon himself to decide what you could have, like a parent and small child. And he was hypocritical to boot. I would have to bring it up with him and see what he has to say.. Rude prick.

CoughLaughFart · 15/12/2018 13:56

How do you even search for a particular user’s posts?

BarbedBloom · 15/12/2018 13:57

I would have gone in and got the biggest chocolate bar I could find and sat and eaten it just in front of him, but that is not probably the best advice. He sounds quite rude and possibly controlling. I would probably ignore it for the sake of friendship with your friend, but I would certainly not allow him to dictate what I ate.

Jaxhog · 15/12/2018 14:05

Who is he the chocolate police?

Some men do this. This makes them mysogynist, sexist pigs. It's ok for them to be greedy, fat pigs, but women have to be slim girlies.

You live your life the way you want, sister!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/12/2018 14:10

Ignore it. I dont mean, you, op.
It'll go hopefully go back under its bridge. That's what happens when you don't feed them.

Things like this getting dictated to about what you can and can't eat makes me Angry. Who does he think he is Jamie Oliver Hmm

Sparklesocks · 15/12/2018 14:23

It’s not of his business what you do or don’t eat. Very rude of him, ignore!

And ignore saddos like Kiki too.

LoisWilkerson1 · 15/12/2018 14:25

Shock what did your friend say?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/12/2018 14:27

I'd have probably ate him if he came back with out my chocolate.

InSightMars · 15/12/2018 14:33

Doesn't matter if you're the size of a house or diabetic or pregnant or food intolerant, doesn't matter what your hcp's recommend as to a healthy diet - no one gets to police what you eat or drink except you. The DH is a rude, controlling asshole and you'd be very right to tell him so.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/12/2018 14:33

If it happened as you describe, he’s an arsehole. I’d avoid him from now on.

ChaussonAuxPommes1 · 15/12/2018 14:38

How judgemental and unhelpful to the OP's question.

If you don't have anything nice to say...

Gigglebrain · 15/12/2018 14:42

If a lesson keeps coming back to you, then you’re not learning it, that’s why it keeps happening!
But no, YANBU, I would be livid.

ChaussonAuxPommes1 · 15/12/2018 14:43

I would absolutely be offended too. Talk to your friend about it. She should talk to her DH and sort this out. I would be mortified if DH said anything like that to anybody, let alone a friend of mine and would definitely tell him to respect my friends or keep his mouth shut.

Parisbun · 15/12/2018 14:46

It does seem like he fat shames you but so many things I am itching to know;
1 What did your friend say/do while you were having the sweets conversation with her DH?
2 why didnt you say anything when they came back without your chocolate?
3 who paid for the sweets they bought ? You mentioned £20 - did you pay for everyone?
4 Why on earth didnt you send him straight back for the chocolate ?

or at least
5 why didnt you go and get it yourself?

PipGoesPop · 15/12/2018 14:48

Hit a nerve? Not very bad? What, because it was a chocolate bar?

The point is he's treating her like a child and/or a subordinate who doesn't know her own mind. It's controlling.

How would you like it? Imagine you were in a pub, you give him a tenner to get you a drink because he's going to the bar and he returns with zilch for you because you've had your daily units as per NHS guidelines. Fuck that.

I would have made a fuss OP. Fuck him and his superior attitude.

lily2403 · 15/12/2018 15:09

So Kiki people are only allowed to have or discuss one problem or issue ever, think you are the weird one for even looking

Yes he fat shamed you op, I would have been raging and went and got what I wanted

Swipetounlock · 15/12/2018 15:09

I think it's a bit weird that the friend's husband decided that your kids needed something sweet.

diddl · 15/12/2018 15:22

Op-why did your son come back with nothing for you?

Valasca · 15/12/2018 15:23

Not sure why everyone is jumping on Kiki. The OP wrote how incredibly hurt she was because a friend who lives overseas (and who she’s not in everyday contact with) didn’t tell her about her child’s birth within 3 days, despite not being on social media. That’s not venting. That’s looking to be offended. Some people take exactly what the OP says word for word, others remember past posts and things don’t add up. I don’t blame Kiki for her comment and I only read one other post by OP. They all seem in the same vain.

Anticlockwatcher · 15/12/2018 15:37

To be fair it must have been a fucking big chocolate bar for £20. I don't think I could have resisted saying something either.

Sparklesocks · 15/12/2018 15:45

Valasca but we aren’t talking about OP’s other threads, and regardless of poster history this particular scenario is unfair to the OP. I don’t really see why previous posts are relevant?

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 15/12/2018 16:08

Well what happened next? Did you ask him where yours was?