Four year old DD - a twin - started school in September. She’s found it hard - she’s always been a little emotional but a very kind child. She would be the first to offer something to us / another child.
She is imaginative, loving and fun. Sometimes she would be stroppy; she did have a bad habit of biting us / her twin when frustrated. She has really good language skills and can talk for England. I’m sure she’s neuro-typical, but events lately are making me question whether there’s something “up” with her.
Since starting school in September she’s really changed. She’s so angry, and lashes out at me / DH and her twin (they’re identical) at the slightest provocation. She’s constantly shouting and screaming at us, and will lie ob the floor kicking and screaming if she doesn’t get her own way.
She’s hitting me and even spat at me the other day. She will tell us she feels angry and frustrated. She will argue about everything - getting dressed, doing teeth, eating dinner, which side of the car she gets to sit on. Will lose it when told “no” about things - not being allowed chocolate (not “ever” but just when she’s told no), not being allowed to watch TV before bed, being told it’s too late for craft for example.
We do LOADS with them - busy but child-focussed weekends, visiting their friends, out at the park/ woods/ beach. All our activities are focussed on them at the weekend; they get so many opportunities for activity and play. They don’t have screens but sometimes play games on our phones.
I know they’re both tired - it’s really hard to get them both to bed. Often not asleep till 8.30. We normally have dinner at 5.30/6.00 and have time to read, play, do some drawing or colouring in. We
They do go to breakfast club x3 per wk, and after school club x3 per wk. I’m a teacher, DH runs a small business.
My job is super stressful; I work in a really challenging school and behaviour is awful. Some pupils do treat staff badly - I end up dealing with it for my team and have frequent challenging conversations with pupils / parents.
Then, at home, I face a regular barrage of anger from my child. She’s started saying she will “smack me in the face” when she’s challenged; I think this is stuff she’s heard at school because she’s never, ever heard that at home. We don’t smack our children, but I have had to move her away from me when she’s hit or bitten me.
Anyway, this is really long, I appreciate. But I’m so so miserable and so lost. My parents are really involved with our lives and SO supportive, they’re brilliant grandparents and they say we’re brilliant parents but I just don’t know what has gone wrong that my child is just so angry. I’m fed up. It’s putting such a strain on our marriage and making me want to quit my job / leave home.