None of my friends celebrate my birthday ..aibu to be a bit sad?

[salbalbo]

I only have 4 actual friends.
The 4 friends I have we are good friends.
My birthday is Xmas eve and they NEVER acknowledge it.
Even tho for their birthday they make a big deal.
Now I know Christmas is a busy time of year but even meeting up for a cuppa and cake or a meal.
Anything ..just to know they care but zilch.
I've dropped hints saying it's nearly my birthday and it would be lovely to do something but nothing.
Aibu to be sad about this?

Yanbu to be upset but in your situation I'd 'forget' about their birthdays.

I would be upset too, maybe give them a taste of their own medicine ?

Stop doing their birthdays, it's not fair and very rude of them.

That’s really shit of them :( even if xmas eves a busy time it would be nice if they atleast discussed with you a time they could meet up over the weekend before or something.
I would do what pp said and start to forget there bdays also, but i know that’s hard to do when your a genuinely caring person. YANBU

You need to be proactive.

Christmas Eve is an awkward and busy time for people.

My dad is 10 on Christmas Eve, so is my sister, so we always make a fuss, but I arrange everything, well in advance.

Could you say something like, right because we never celebrate my birthday, I am planning X for the 2nd week in January, or something like that?

It doesn't matter when I suggest or mention they say they don't have time or the money.
It's always the same.

I don't want to meet Christmas Eve.
I suggest anytime in December.

Sometimes hints aren't enough

Have you actually sent them a message suggesting something concrete? Might be too late now but if you want to celebrate your birthday with friends it's usually necessary to be quite brazen and message "whose free at lunchtine on 24th to meet up at xxxxx to celebrate my birthday"

If you are already doing this then YANBU

If you want to celebrate your birthday with your friends organise something. Don't 'drop hints'. Be a grown up and say 'I'd like to go to x on Saturday for my birthday, would you like to come?'. Although expecting people to do birthday celebrations on Christmas eve may be a bit much.

Sorry x-post

That's a bit shit OP

Do most adults actually do birthday celebrations though? Very few of my friends do, outside of major milestones. And in any case, we'd organise our own party (or partners would).
If you want a party, organise one and ask them, dont drop hints.

Would you be happy if they celebrated your birthday on a different day? For example, could you arrange something for a night in January or earlier in December? Unfortunately Christmas Eve is a real family day for us and I wouldn’t want to do that differently or leave my dc to go out with friends. Sorry.

I had a "big" birthday this year, only 2 of my good friends came, my parents and siblings were separately away, I had a party but it was only acquaintances from church and a couple of people from over the road who I know to wave to.
I had a big cake which I'm still eating a week later, if it weren't for DH moving heaven and earth to get back from a business trip in India in time for my birthday I think I'd have sacked off the whole thing and gone off in a sulk.
December birthdays are shit.
People think that their "Christmas commitments" matter more than a birthday celebration and can't see how hurtful it is to be second best to Santa.

Like i said I don't want to go out Christmas Eve.
I said I would like to do afternoon tea for my birthday and nothing.
This was last month too so plenty of notice and only£8.99 each

"Even tho for their birthday they make a big deal"

I think this is key. All the adults I know, whose birthdays are celebrated outside the immediate family, make the arrangements themselves. I'm very happy to go along if invited to someone else's celebration but not bothered about mine, so it tends to go unmarked.

If you want them to celebrate it with you, you need to organise it.

Same here! Birthday is early Jan and always gets ignored.

For the past few years Ive plan gone away for my birthday. Cheap trips abroad, and I make sure I post a "best birthday ever" selfie on social media while hiking in Slovenia, for example, and I feel MUCH better....

If you've suggested an alternative date, and a non-expensive celebration, and none of these four people are interested, or making excuses, then they're not real friends are they. It's not as though your birthday is a different day each year. They know when it is and could plan to keep some money aside another month. I agree with PP and think you should give them a taste of their own medicine and not be available, or short of funds on their birthdays.

Do most adults actually do birthday celebrations though? The OP says her friends do, and she goes along to them.

If you want a party, organise one and ask them, dont drop hints. The OP has obviously dropped broad enough hints that her friends are able to say they don't have time or the money.

OP, just stop going along to their birthday things. If asked why, say you say you don't have the time or the money.

Ah, yes, 'Christmas Commitments'. I have a couple of friends who I just don't bother to make plans with in December anymore. They can never 'make' anything as they're 'too busy preparing for Christmas'.... whereas I assumed catching up with friends to have some fun, be it drinks, a meal, even coffee is what Christmas should be about! They're too busy for a carol service!!

So having a birthday in the middle of it, no chance! Mine's 09/12 so just early enough but I so feel your pain.

Whereabouts are you? I'll come and celebrate your Xmas Eve birthday with you!

I think if you’ve been proactively trying to arrange things you have to tell them how upsetting you find it never marking your birthday like everyone else.

I’m a grinch who would be genuinely happy to forget my birthday altogether but even I concede that a low key dinner is a lovely thing to bring people together to enjoy some time together.

Dd is early December and I genuinely thought she’d escape the swallowing up of her birthday but it’s not the case at all (little bugger should have been on time instead of clinging on for two weeks! ). I’m considering how to pull off the half birthday idea and doing something in June. It’s not for grabby reasons but there’s very little to do in the winter never mind trying to find an activity that isn’t Christmas related in December!

Send them a memo declaring your birthday will now be June 24th. .
They have no excuse ....

You deserve better friends, OP

My dm birthday is between xmas and new year and its rubbish! Would you ne able to take the bull by the hroms and text them all now saying you are doing a cream tea/brunch/fondue withleftover as cheese (whatever takes your fancy) at yours on 27th (or when suits you in that lull before new year) as a late birthday and you are expecting g them to be there...

YANBU op, I don’t think people with birthdays at any other time of year would accept seasonal commitments as an excuse but at Christmas it’s completely normal. My birthday was yesterday and even my immediate family said to me they’d only just remembered my birthday and made plans last minute. I’m still not sure what reply they were expecting to that.

Honestly your friends are shit. I'd struggle to do something on Christmas Eve, but given you've said there's a degree of flexibility, they really have no excuse. I honestly think you need to have a minor hissy fit when their birthday comes round, or bin them.