None of my friends celebrate my birthday ..aibu to be a bit sad?

[salbalbo]

I only have 4 actual friends.
The 4 friends I have we are good friends.
My birthday is Xmas eve and they NEVER acknowledge it.
Even tho for their birthday they make a big deal.
Now I know Christmas is a busy time of year but even meeting up for a cuppa and cake or a meal.
Anything ..just to know they care but zilch.
I've dropped hints saying it's nearly my birthday and it would be lovely to do something but nothing.
Aibu to be sad about this?

My birthday is 28th December, which means people are recovering from Christmas/preparing for New Year, so I do understand. I'm turning 57 in a couple of weeks so I'm used to it being low key - I even forgot it was my birthday a few years ago. People are really very busy and it's an expensive time of the year, so it 's probably not meant to be a slight against you.

In saying that, it obviously does bother you, especially as your friends like to celebrate their own birthdays. Why not nominate another date and have an "official birthday" after Christmas, when everything has quietened down?

If I want to celebrate a birthday I would host the celebration & invite people to my home, I wouldn’t expect people to pay to celebrate with me .

YANBU. What I suggest you do it when each of their birthdays comes round tell them you can't afford it and put the money you would have spend on them to one side. When you've got the money from all four blow it on something indulgent for yourself. You might still not get a celebration for your birthday, but you'll have something for yourself to show for their birthdays, the selfish gits!

YANBU op. My birthday is on Boxing Day and I hate it for all the same reasons.

It’s just a rubbish time of year to have a birthday

I understand how you feel, but your bday is highly inconvenient OP.

On my last birthday, I invited a friend to my house to have a few drinks. I knew no one would acknowledge my birthday otherwise and that way at least I was doing something.

So maybe you could ask a couple of friends to come to yours the weekend before for your birthday? That way you don't have to feel bad and you've done something, but not on the day.

People with Birthdays in late December are easy - you only need to buy one present/card etc.

Seriously though - just 'move' your Birthday to July. They probably won't even notice.

I understand your pain as my birthday is the same day as yours! They are not friends. I can’t believe how selfish they are. Please don’t buy them birthday presents or cards next year. Tell them how sad they have made you. I hope you have other people in rl, like family who can celebrate with you. for you.

It's strange that you aren't having a get-together in December, anyway, for a Christmas night out. Most friends do.

I'd organise your own birthday in January, at the end of the month late enough so it chips in after payday. Tell them your birthday celebration is booked for x time at y venue or whatever.

My MIL has her birthday Christmas day. She always felt that her birthday was second to Christmas. We celebrate her birthday on 25th June so she has a day completely separate to Christmas. Have you considered doing something like that?

Dd is new year, no one is interested in going to a party right at new year for a child. so sad.

Quite often there will be really great deals/groupons for January in restaurants and spas. Usually because everyone is skint and people save money in Jan by not going out. Pick a date after payday and tell them where you want to go.

I have the same problem with a very early Jan birthday. Literally no one throughout childhood and as an adult would want to celebrate my birthday.

Whether it's a diet, no money, New Years resolution and just needing to dry out, no fucker wanted to come out.

This year a couple of new school mum friends have actually insisted on going out for my birthday, we have a very lovely afternoon tea booked. Really surprised me that they wanted to, I'm humbled.

Try to get them out, but also try to widen your circle of friends.

I totally hear this. Mine is 28 December so I’m used to it basically going unnoticed. Late December birthdays suck!

That said, I’m having a round number birthday this year, so I’ve deliberately made efforts to get things booked in with friends to celebrate- although my celebration plans are largely in January.

I was literally talking about this with my mum earlier and yesterday. It's my step sister's 21st on the 17th because I can only imagine how crap it is to have a birthday at this time of year. I'm going to make conscious effort for her birthday because no one else cares, or rather thoughtless.

So glad I was born in June, I'd hate to be a December baby. Even January sucks.

My heart goes out to you OP.

I wouldn’t usually recommend being passive aggressive for anything BUT: why not ornagise drinks/dinner end of November or at the start of January and say oh we always do things for your birthdays and as you’re always really busy around Christmas and can’t afford it we miss mine out, I thought we could do my birthday now.

It’s shitty of them OP.

It's rubbish having a birthday this close to Christmas😥
I'm interested to know if they buy you anything?
Maybe try to organise something for late November but if they refuse to do that, I'd be reconsidering the friendships.

Hi Op;
DS birthday is similar but not as bad, he has a celebration in July, his theory is if the Queen can have an actual birthday and an official one then so can he (he's only 10, just) it's worked a treat so far, he gets a few presents and cards on his birthday then in July he invites people to his 'birthday celebration' whereupon he gets a shedload of presents, very few people actually ask the date just how old is he.

that's just rude. I can understand them making an excuse about being busy or not having spare cash, but just ignoring it completely. If you're feeling up to it, have you thought about asking them why they just ignore?

Why are they your friends...? Friends make a point of celebrating your birthday with you because they enjoy your company and care about you

This would be enough for me to drop them, really!

Change the date to January. Don't make if before Christmas, they'll have the same excuses about being busy, broke etc. Just announce in January that you've booked afternoon tea on 25th Jan and you'd like to see them.

Expecting them to make arrangements is not going to happen - as an adult you have to make the fuss yourself if you want fuss to be made.

Do most adults actually do birthday celebrations though?

^Yes they do. Only on MN are you to stop celebrating your birthday after the age of 18

I feel your pain OP. My birthday is Christmas Day and I get so upset that no one makes any effort yet expects me to join in with their birthday celebrations.

Just for once, I would like to have a birthday. To go out and celebrate my birthday. If it isn't important why do others do it? What is the reason that anyone celebrates their birthday? Whatever anyone else enjoys about celebrating their birthday why shouldn't those of us with Christmas birthdays want the same?

Lots of my friends go on holiday for their birthday. I would love to do that, just once. Yet if I mention it to my family it gets met with horror. "But it's Christmas" " we want to see the grandchildren at Christmas" etc etc.

And why should we want to celebrate our birthdays months or even weeks after the event? I'm fine with doing my birthday in June if my friend's April birthday is celebrated in October or my sister celebrates her summer birthday in winter. When I say this though they are genuinely bewildered " but that isn't my birthday" " it won't feel like my birthday then" yes, exactly.

My other gripe.

When I was little my sister used to moan every Christmas that I had more presents than her or took longer to open my presents and that it wasn't fair and that I had to hurry up. Yet she had her own presents to open and enjoy.

On her birthday I had to sit with no presents and watch her opening all of her own gifts.

Never got over this!!!!!!

Hi Salbalbo,

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Salbalbol
Happy Birthday to you!

I hope that you have a wonderful time today.

It’s my birthday today too!

So l can totally understand how you feel about friends, not being to celebrate with you, because of Christmas. I celebrate with my family instead. I hope that next year it will be different for you. Maybe your friends will change their behaviour towards your birthday, or you may find new friends who will celebrate your birthday. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Again, have a fabulous time, you sound like a wonderful, caring person.

Happy Birthday, Christmas and New Year 2019, M x