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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else took a long time to get pregnant the second time?

32 replies

Ayogo · 14/12/2018 12:52

My first pregnancy was after one month TTC. We had a miscarriage.

Second pregnancy was after one month of trying. Resulted in DD, who is now 2.

So I figured we're quite fertile!

But we've tried the last 3 months and had no luck. Is this common? Just looking for reassurance really I guess, would be good to know if it's not unusual and doesn't mean anything much.

OP posts:
KatnissMellark · 14/12/2018 12:57

Honestly, you need to get a little bit of a grip. Sorry. It can take a normal couple up to 12 mo the to conceive.

DH and I have been trying over seven years in total. Four rounds of IVF got us our first and we're now doing a fifth to try for number two. Confused

Original poster
Ayogo · 14/12/2018 12:59

Yeah, I guess I should have added a disclaimer that I know some people have great difficulty getting pregnant, and I don't mean to minimise that in any way. I realise at this point we have no great reason to worry.

But given that it's been so quick previously, it would be interesting to hear if anybody else has taken longer after previously getting pregnant extremely quickly. And why that could be, I guess.

OP posts:
KatnissMellark · 14/12/2018 13:01

Statistics- for every 'normal' couple who get pregnant straight off, there's another that takes a while.

I personally know two couples who got pregnant first try for DC1 but took 12 and 18 months respectively for DC2. Depending on your age, try for six months or a year, then start worrying.

itsnosoap · 14/12/2018 13:01

I'm sorry for your loss.

Not me personally but I do know several people who took longer the 2nd time around, I don't think it's unusual. Also, 3 months is really not long when you consider how low the chances of conception are each time you try!

You could try the fertility boards, I think you will find quite a few people in your position. I really hope it all works out for you.

RoseGoldEagle · 14/12/2018 13:02

Similar to you I got pregnant on the second month trying, which ended in a miscarriage. Then got pregnant again second time around and had DD. It then took 10 months to get pregnant again- no idea why, and I know not long at all compared to lots of people but felt forever at the time. I know there’s no guarantee with these things, but 3 months is such a short time, it’s highly likely everything is fine and you will be pregnant in the next few months. How old are you OP?

blackteasplease · 14/12/2018 13:03

Yes. Took me 13 months for dc2. All fine though!

toolazytothinkofausername · 14/12/2018 13:04

DC1: first month trying
DC2: 5 months

JacquesHammer · 14/12/2018 13:04

3 months isn’t a long time.

I tried for a second for 6 years. It never happened.

JacquesHammer · 14/12/2018 13:05

First pregnancy and second (m/c) I fell first month trying.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

Sassypants82 · 14/12/2018 13:05

Pregnant on DS month one, took 7mnts for DD. Fell pregnant unexpectedly in Aug but sadly miscarried. I'm currently 10wks pregnant with a healthy baby & took 2 cycles to conceive after the mc.

I was starting to get very concerned when ttc my daughter. I got pregnant in July but has been to the gp after 6 mnts of trying & was due back in the Oct for preliminary fertility tests.

What helped was relaxing about things & I also used the clear blue fertility monitor the month I conceived.

Spanglybangles · 14/12/2018 13:06

Fell pregnant with first without trying. Took 5 years to fall pregnant second time which sadly ended in missed miscarriage. Fell again within 4 months but ended very early on. Was pregnant again 6 months later with our second living child. Last 2 pregnancies were as a result of serious planning (opk’s, temping, the whole shebang), not really advisable but I was so distressed by m/c that I became obsessed with getting pregnant again. I’m incredibly grateful that we were successful in the end.

KatnissMellark · 14/12/2018 13:06

I really wouldn't go posting on the fertility boards having been trying for three months Confused

TinselandToblerones · 14/12/2018 13:06

My first child was conceived in the first month of trying.

When we started trying again we once again conceived immediately but I miscarried.

It took 13 months of trying again before I became pregnant. At the time I found it overwhelmingly difficult - if I could say anything to myself back then it would be “calm down!”

Best of luck x

SumitosIsMyWall · 14/12/2018 13:07

DD1 was a condom fluke (it didn't split and we know how to use them) so assumed second would be just as quick and easy. It took 3 years of trying to catch for DD2.

Whilst it was difficult at the time I know we're lucky overall.

Grasslands123 · 14/12/2018 13:07

My first was concieved first month. I tried for 2 months and no 2, but had a chemical pregnancy. Took another year to concieve after that.

Original poster
Ayogo · 14/12/2018 13:07

Thanks.

I'm 32 OH is 34. I suppose we're at an age where fertility could have declined since last time?

RoseGoldEagle it's strange isn't it. I think I wouldn't have complained that much if it took 10 months the first time, but when you've already got pregnant in 1 month twice before, you feel like something must be wrong when that doesn't happen again!

OP posts:
mummabearfourbabybears · 14/12/2018 13:08

It's really hard isn't it? I got pregnant almost straight away with my first two babies. When we planned baby number three we were very shocked that it took us 18months. All completely normal so try not to worry.

Figgygal · 14/12/2018 13:09

Ds 1 I was 30 and pg on cycle 2
Ds2 I was 35 and took 10 months

Original poster
Ayogo · 14/12/2018 13:10

I think it doesn't help that in real life people don't like to talk about TTC or how long they TTC'd before getting pregnant. So you never really have any idea what's normal. Just from reading the responses to this thread I already feel like the whole thing is way more random than I previously thought!

OP posts:
iluvsummer · 14/12/2018 13:12

1st 32 and 9 months, 2nd 38 and 5 years and 3rd 39 and surprise so wasn’t trying as it took so long to have the second that we thought we wouldn’t be able to have another! There was an ectopic and 2 mmc between the first 2!

Tiredmum100 · 14/12/2018 13:16

Someone I know conceived easily with the first dc but struggled with the second. They went to the GP who said keep trying. In the end she went private for some tests and had her tubes ( I guess she meant fallopian) unblocked. There's about 2-3 years between them .

RoseGoldEagle · 14/12/2018 13:19

Yes I know what you mean, we just assumed it would happen really quickly again so it definitely worried me when it didn’t (we’re late 30s so I was worried we were running out of time!) Only thing I did think was that I definitely noticed (and sorry if this is TMI!!) that I didn’t produce as much cervical fluid around ovulation as I had 2 years before, and the time (in month 10) that we were successful we used pressed for the first time. Of course that could be complete coincidence though!

BackAwayFatty · 14/12/2018 13:38

I'd be interested to hear also! Sorry for your loss & that you're getting a bit of a hard time from other posters Hmm

I fell pregnant with my DD9 on the pill. I was 19. Now 29 & fell pregnant after first cycle, ended in a mmc at 9 weeks.

Hoping we catch again quickly but sad at the thought of a hard tome ahead!

LaurieMarlow · 14/12/2018 13:51

Me! DS1 I fell first month of trying (33). DS2 took 10 months to conceive (36).

Obviously there's the age difference.

However one theory I have is that carrying and feeding DS1 depleted my nutritional reserve and caused inflammation issues. I conceived DS2 only after supplementing, particularly with omega 3.

Or I was just very lucky to fall quickly the first time.

Or it took me 10 months to produce a good enough egg.

That's the issue with fertility. There are so many potential variables.

Thesearmsofmine · 14/12/2018 14:00

Much first two were conceived without trying, my third took 8 months.

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