To think pre school should help we wipe his bum?

[Sparrowlegs248]

He's 3 yrs 4 months. Can go for a wee on his own with the occasional bit of wee getting on trousers. But he just can't clean his own bum after a poo. He comes home with pooey pants and sore bum.

My ds was and is terrible at wiping but when he was this age, I found out he was refusing help. Talk to staff and see if you can come to a better understanding of what is going wrong.

Also, my technique has been to insist that dc wipes first, then mummy will wipe again to make sure. This way at least they learn the coordination a bit faster with less risk of a sore bottom.

I’m a nursery teacher and wouldn’t usually help a child wipe on a day to day basis. Children are expected to be trained at home but if a parent has specifically raised a concern we will take a closer look at the child’s bathroom routine and supervise when they wipe if needed. I’ve often passed a baby wipe in and directed to make sure the child is properly cleaned. Children often won’t tell an adult if they’re going for a poo so it’s highly likely the staff aren’t even aware there’s an issue unless it’s been raised. However, having said that I have changed many nappies of children who’s parents have refused to train them or who have special needs and aren’t developmentally ready yet. So it’s not a black and white situation in most settings, depends on the child and the context.

This particular issue mainly concerns parents of younger children who are less aware of the law and less likely to kick up a fuss about the law not being followed.
It wouldnt get to court because it would be dealt with before that.

We’re going to have to agree to disagree on this.

It is just not credible to think no individual or pressure group would have taken this up if there were such a solid case under the Equality Act. It is far too widespread a practice to have simply slipped through the net.

My personal suspicion is that schools would claim that calling the parents to deal with soiling constitutes a sufficiently reasonable way of dealing with it, so as not to be seen as neglecting the child. And by not changing any child, they would say they aren’t discriminating in any way.

I don’t thing it’s good or right, but I think that’s how they’re getting away with it. Schools do seem to find it all too easy to dodge laws that any other organisation would be obliged to adhere to.

No, it specifically states in DfE guidance that they shouldn't expect parents to come to school and clean them up. I believed it when my dd was starting nursery. It really worried me.

And as above it gets dealt with. Eric as a charity have done lots.

It doesn't need to be taken up by any group. It is already established that it is unlawful.

It's like schools trying it on with informal exclusions. These are known to be unlawful but individual schools still do it till a parent pulls them up about it.

If a school tried to argue at a tribunal that they were just treating all children the same and that it was ok to tell the parents to come in, they would laughed at. Although it would never get that far.

There you go then mums. If your school is pulling this particular trick, get yourself a lawyer and help yourself to an unlimited liability claim under the Equality Act.

Any tips on how I persuade our local school that a child who walks out of class onto the streets at 9:15 is anything to do with them?

Or that a 4year old who is head butted in the face has indeed been assaulted?

It wouldn't be an unlimited liability claim. And it would likely be dealt with before court.

Most disability discrimination cases get settled. Because it is expensive and hard to take a case.

And its embarrassing as a parent, of you child doesn't have a diagnosis it's easy to worry that it's your parenting, that you've done something wrong to not train them properly.

I wholeheartedly agree that teachers are unreasonable to be ducking out of a basic care/welfare function
It's not their job. It's as simple as that.

Just like it's also not my job to do bulk copying of Year 11 mock exam papers and mock exam admin. I'm also not allowed to handle cash for trips etc.

I'm not ducking out of a basic task as it's a task not in my job description. Same for primary and nursery teachers and wiping children.

There will be staff who do have personal care in their job description. Places will manage personal care in different ways and I'm not suitably experienced enough in the field to comment on how it should be done, but let's leave the inaccurate swiping at teachers ducking out of their jobs out of it.

Not to divert the thread but I'm having a similar issue with my DD who is 3 and 6mos. How the heck do you teach them to wipe successfully?? She's desperate at it!

@Teachtolive I don't think you're diverting the thread.....

I'd be interested to know too. I think there is a vast difference between potty trained and fully able to go and wipe PROPERLY , independently. Everyone I gave ever spoken to has said their dc need help or at least checking at least til 5 or 6 and often older! So I'm pretty amazed that the view here is that children aged 3 should be able to manage it.

I’m surprised that people say they need checking until 5/6, what do they do at school? My just turned 5 year old hasn’t needed checking for about a year, it was something we focussed on as we knew she’d have to do it independently at school.
I mentioned upthread that my 3.5 year old wipes herself... I do check at home, but I’m not sure if she’s checked at pre school as I don’t think she tells them she goes! I know they will and do wipe/supervise at that age if needed though.

Of course he should have help! How can a 3-year-old wipe their own bum properly? We get through a few wetwipes each time, making sure all traces are gone, or she gets sore.

I'm shocked that some preschools don't use wet wipes, its impossible to clean properly with dry paper 😳

Of course you can clean with toilet paper. Do you use wet wipes on your own bum?

I manage to clean my bum with toilet paper . So do my DC!