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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To argue nursery’s decision

65 replies

WishfulSprouts · 14/12/2018 06:55

Ds started nursery in sept and is very happy and settled there. He has just turn 3 so will be moving from the younger section to their preschool section.
This section is split over 2 rooms one huge room with free flow to outside and activities the other much smaller room. Although all his friends going down from his room (5x kids) all going into bigger room nursery decided to put ds in the smaller room.
When I queried this a few weeks ago they said he was too sensitive for the busier room and they’d look to move him across at a later point which seemed fine but yesterday I went in for his transition visit and was told he’d be staying in the small room until he starts school (2020).
Manager wasn’t there so raised concerns and emailed but I really am not happy he has to be separated from friends and basically stay in the smaller less fun room for that length of time surely they could move him across if they wanted to.
I’m paying for the same service as friends but their children will surely get a different experience if they are with more friends in a larger freeflpw setting compared to ds aibu?

OP posts:
jarhead123 · 14/12/2018 06:58

I can see your point, though perhaps your son is a different child at Nursery.

I'd trust their judgement for a few weeks or so, see what you son thinks of the new room too and then maybe if you still feel strongly push for him to be moved then.

HoppingPavlova · 14/12/2018 07:02

It depends, you need to have a thorough discussion with them to further understand their reasoning before settling on a conclusion and arguing if necessary . Tbh, this scenario would have probably been the best fit for one of my kids, whereas it would not have been the better option for another.

If after understanding their rationale, you still think it is wrong then definitely argue your points.

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2018 07:06

I think if they are saying this they are doing so for his own well being, where they feel he thrives better with more indivuak support, a smaller and more intimate environment,

At this age it's not all about being with his friends or what their experience is, it's about ensuring he gets what meets his needs,

In addition they will have a certain amount of staff to deal with the more boisterous room, and if they have a child unable to cope like the others in there, it would be problematic as their attention would be diverted to your child.

I'd speak to the manager, have they articulated what they mean by too sensitive? Have they tried him in there, and that's what's prompted their decision?

Ultimately it's about meeting your sons needs.

Tumbleweed101 · 14/12/2018 07:11

Why is the smaller room less fun?

hazeyjane · 14/12/2018 07:18

I find the set up odd to be honest, why are some children in the smaller room? Do they get to go outside? Are there activities that the bigger room kids don't get to access and vice versa?

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 14/12/2018 07:20

I find it odd in general that there are two rooms so different from each other. Do the kids in the smaller room not have access to outside and all the activities out there? If so I'd be very unhappy with it.

Original poster
WishfulSprouts · 14/12/2018 07:26

The large room was always the preschool room for the older ones that are there all day when dd attended and the small room was and still is used for afterschool club and just for phonics sessions. Now the nursery is busier than ever this has been set up as a second preschool room which is 1/4 of the size of the large room and no free flow. Less fun as less options there’s a small home corner and PlayStation and reading are but no construction play/ mess play/water play like in large room.

OP posts:
Secretrocket · 14/12/2018 07:32

I wouldn't be happy. Speak to the manager about this

Secretrocket · 14/12/2018 07:33

How often does he attend?

Camomila · 14/12/2018 07:36

The smaller room doesn't sound good enough for anyone IMO.

If I was the nursery manager I would swap over who uses it in the morning and in the afternoon to make things fairer.
Quieter kids in the morning and then after lunch when some kids have gone home put the quiet kids in the big room and take groups of older kids to the little room to do group time/phonics/other adult led activities for a bit.

Original poster
WishfulSprouts · 14/12/2018 07:37

4 days per week.
Nursery last night adamant that he would not be swapping to large room? Due to numbers which make no sense as surely when another child is ready to move into the preschool they could go into smaller room and ds could go into large room. So annoyed as they made it sound short term thing last month otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed with it then.

OP posts:
bonniebanks · 14/12/2018 07:40

They have a PlayStation at nursery? I'm surprised at this

Mrshoneyneedsanewhat · 14/12/2018 07:40

If this is a correct version of events, it all sounds very badly managed.

Original poster
WishfulSprouts · 14/12/2018 07:40

Sorry not the computer kind like an activity desk iyswim

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 14/12/2018 07:41

No, I wouldn't be happy with that either. It's not just the friends issue, it's less access to facilities and outdoor space.
If they won't change their minds, I'd just remove him to another settling.

RedHelenB · 14/12/2018 07:41

If he's only just turned 3 then it seems better to keep him in the smaller room as he will.have 2 academic years in this nursery

beingsunny · 14/12/2018 07:42

A PlayStation 😳

Original poster
WishfulSprouts · 14/12/2018 07:42

Yes honey unfortunately it’s a mix of emails/phone calls and conversations st pick up and drop so I don’t have a fully documented agreements now I will make sure everything done via email but am not happy.

OP posts:
Patchworksack · 14/12/2018 07:42

What do OFSTED have to say about some children being in a small room with no outdoor access and much lesser facilities? It sounds like a bizarre set up. You probably only have the option to vote with your feet if they won't budge on this - 4 days a week for 18 months is a long time to be cooped up.

itsaboojum · 14/12/2018 07:44

It sounds like they have lots of good resources, but they are managing them in a way that doesn’t permit every child to benefit from them. Why do they have to classify children as one or other 'type' who will/won’t benefit from a particular group of experiences?

I would suggest they rotate around the rooms, lowing every child some time in each. Likewise, there's no reason why the membership of each group has to be fixed, rather than fluid.

Just be aware that you’re going to have to get used to precisely this sort of arbitrary drawing of hard lines throughout his schooling.

WhiteCat1704 · 14/12/2018 07:49

If it was my child I would not agree to this.
As you say you pay the same as other parents amd 4 days per week is a lot. I couldn't care less about their "numbers" issue. Iflt sounds like they have taken too many children on and not have enough space for it, your son should should not be missing out due to their bad management.

loubluee · 14/12/2018 07:51

Anothe that agrees rotating the children between both rooms for different activities seems more appropriate. So all
Children can experience all activities.

Veganfortheanimals · 14/12/2018 07:53

Try contacting ofsted ..I'd not be happy at all either.

Bunnybigears · 14/12/2018 07:54

I would just move him to a different nursery.

UnleashTheBulsara · 14/12/2018 07:55

If my son was "too sensitive" for a room containing water play, messy play etc I'd be asking for a meeting to discuss how they were going to help my child become more resilient and able to be moved on, the same as the other children. It's fair enough if they have his best interests at heart and this would genuinely be better for him in the short term, but I wouldn't be satisfied if they had decided that he would remain "too sensitive" for over a year.

I would really be asking questions to find out what they thought would be gained by this course of action. In the long run, it won't help. Moving dc to a quieter room when necessary is fine; all the time, and for the foreseeable future? - wouldn't be happy

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